I've been so busy until today that 1) I'm so fucking tired and 2) JP Post will let me mail to Canada again yippee Time to get my mail stuff in order

I ordered a kotatsu... I'm gonna be baked Basina this winter. Warm and cozy. :3c

Hehehe Nothing like getting my ego padded by the city hall staff that my Nihongo got jyozu 😊

My iconic quote of the day. Someone asking me about my Japanese level. "I can survive reading my rental contract, but it's fucking hell"

I had a dream about going to bed at 8pm and waking up at midnight thinking it was midday. Actually, I fell asleep at 3am and woke up to the world's noise (and phone notifs) around 9am. ...god. I've got so much going on over the next week.

istg every time I open my feed on this account I see updates about how volatile some entertainment related industry can be. Any industry that uses one's likeness for products lends itself to being very personal. I've dipped my toes and always left bc it freaked me out, esp when I had a weaker ego.

I have 100% lost a good chunk of weight, and I've noticed I got a fair bit of flub now... ...a quick google tells me that the solution for that is "toning" which I've always known about but didn't realise THAT was its purpose. LMAO

いいおしりの日

Also the number of times ive been asked how many years ive lived in Japan is both lowkey fanning my ego and also making me wonder where the bar is. Meanwhile, bc I dont ever flaunt japanese speaking ability, I also get "Wait you can speak Japanese" with genuine surprise.

I've been reminded to never talk about work being quiet when in customer or food service. Bossman said it'd be quiet on Halloween. I stayed until 3am trying to help catch up on cleaning bc we got SLAMMED. I have also learned more about Baseball than I ever expected.

Phone call stuff? Ended up fine. Now instead the thing living rent free in my mind is about how I was like "oh, so-and-so, you're like a topic expert, anywhere you learned this from or just picked up bits and pieces" The reply: Chat GPT IM GONNA FKING KRILMYSELF

Phone calls? 🫠 Phone calls in Japanese? 😭 I'm shocked that I understood like 80% without issue, but the doubt and panic got the better of me.

🥳 MY APARTMENT APPLICATION WAS ACCEPTED!! i need to figure out how to order a chrismas cake now...

:3c I made friends today. I got a second PT job yesterday. Here's hoping I hear I got accepted for the apartment I applied for tomorrow! :3c

December will be my time of pure hedonism I'm looking forward to it

🥴 I'm being forced to reckon with how much I hate asking for people's attention. I messaged a contact for a job trial and after hearing nothing all weekend, I message and find out the app we're msging on sabotaged me. And I was sent for a loop on something else bc someone zoned in on smth unrelated

Btw, so sorry to newer followers. idk when this acc got +100. I kind of pop in and out of existence online- or so I feel. And I do often use this style of social media to write stream of consciousness rambles. So if you see this, and you're like "who's that acting like it's a facebook wall"- Hi :3c

I feel like "moving forward" stress and "I'm stuck" stress initiate very different reactions. Like life is full of stress, no avoiding it. I know I'm hella stressed right now, but it's not a "stuck" stress, it's a "moving forward" stress. Which is nice bc it feels challenging but healthy?

High Context Conversations are hazing me. Especially when speakers are coming from different backgrounds. I'm really starting to understand why Japanese social conventions are the way they are. I feel like I'm taking in a lot of sociological knowledge lately.

I've been out of the loop w/ Canadian News, so I checked in on if the NDP announced a leadership race yet. Rob Ashton feels like he'd be a great leadership figure. Especially if they want to reclaim blue-collar voters who shifted Con bc they fell for the Trump-ian Rhetoric the Cons parroted.

spooky season cirno #チルノ #Touhou #東方Project #halloween #art

I applied for an apartment. Wish me luck. I'm nervous about if I'll be accepted 🫣

Communication is a skill and not everyone is good at it and that's okay even when they are professionals who make their living by being liaisons hahah Yup. Communication is a skill. Getting a "ok" in response to you asking at least 2 questions is a skill issue but its okay I deserve a drink tonight

I need to be mindful and grateful that Osaka hasnt been hit by abysmal weather like Tokyo is rn and Kyoto got during summer.

Aight. I got to view an apartment and it's such a nice deal for a long term place... And Im so tired that it makes thinking about slightly stressful things worse🥲 I slept during the day again yesterday and between being up since 1am (now 2pm) and the HUMIDITY- I wanna melt into a puddle

AM I FINALLY GETTING TOSSED A BONE!? APARTMENT VIEWING AND JOB INTERVIEW??? 😭😭😭 Like holy moly. Will I be suckling on a bone by the end of the month??? 😋😋😋 ALSO I MIGHT GET A CLOSET AT MY NEXT PLACE AND AAAAAA I CAN SOUNDPROOF THAT BITCH

🥲Hey Canada Post...I just wanna mail my grandma a letter w/ some photos... Can y'all stop being corporate assholes in tandem w/ the gov and just let the fucking national post service operate without taking the piss out of your employees. Imagine the Post Service serving people and being accessible

🤨🤨🤨 Ok. Why tf am I so calm and mentally stable after legit having the worst time of my life mentally from July through most of September??? ... Wait no I remember what started it: I got job phished. AND THEN my usual August breakdown happened as well. Legit mentally blurred out why I was fried

Y'all familiar with the theory that when you learn things u have little plateau periods where one aspect you were struggling with is stronger now, so you see how much you're behind with the other? Me rn w/ Japanese

I'm on a binge of new vocaloid songs and oooooooooooomg so many goodies. Between Vocaloid Collection and others releasing projects they've clearly been working on for a while- I'm eating so well

I finally addressed something that sent me into a spiral last month and I feel a bit better. I did admit in writing that I get stuck in my head and convince myself that I'm a bother and ended up crying. tbfh this is the kind of shit I really need to be left unobserved to process properly...

I've been in such a depressive funk... Like rotting and struggling w/ motivation kinda funk. Letting my worst thoughts get to me. But a little bit of research and writing things down immediately made me feel better. So ig no time like now to see how far I can get in writing some kind of essay lmao

🫥 I feel like I got nothing done today...but also- I thought there was an outing later today (wrong week), like how I thought there was a concert yesterday (wrong month), and I ended up going out yesterday anyways (overwhelmed)... Early bed for me ig Being tired won't help the grump ;;

I lead such an exciting life- I go from looking up books on bookoff's website considering if I should make a pick-up order or just browse in person... ...to opening bandcamp and realizing I will easily lose myself in randomly previewing different albums for the next 4 hours

TBFH my bar job is genuinely keeping me so sane and grounded. Like I'm certainly going through it at times, but it's the typical "I have no sense of purpose" going through it that I've had all my life- I just have my escape from developing severe agoraphobia and the chance to meet many characters

Youtube's bullshit never changes First it was randos making DMCA claims on things they dont own. Now you get your whole video blocked in all countries for showing another video that shows visual clips of another video material... 🤨🤨🤨 🥴🥴🥴 wtf is the point man It's 20 yo footage of a squirrel

Y'all are going to find me dry heaving in a corner out of shock- I got a payout i was expecting and it's more than what I thought it would be Like holy shit Im so grateful. Not only w/ this but so much else too 😭 Now if I could believe the future is real and wortb being excited for that'd be cool

I really need to start a vibes journal or smth cause i know i get in a funk and moods are cyclical not me doing online tarot readings just to feel like i have some control over things outside of my control 🫠 (the one i just did told me nice things- very nice lol)

I just spiraled over how much the Theory of Universal Grammar in Linguistics pisses me off I literally started comparing occult reference materials like Liber 777 to articles I read in uni that were working within the UG framework There's is no practical aspect.. It's a theoretical circle jerk.

I JUST WANT TO FINISH THIS THING ON MY LAPTOP BUT THESE FKING FLIES I'M GONNA BLEACH EVERY CORNER OF THIS FKING ROOM BUT I NEED TO GET THIS SHIT DONE FIRST

I finally get my first payday from my part-time job this Tuesday. YIPPEE And I finally downloaded D-harai and made a membership at the local supermarket, so I got 3 drinks and a pack of orange ice pops for like 600yen (MEMBER PRICES BABY) I think I'm finally settling in... :3c

What fucking reality am I in that when I search "interrobang" to confirm if there's a consensus on the preference of "!?" or "?!" - I get results about a secret third option, "‽". WHEN DID THIS COME AROUND. WTF. *cries in look at cool thing we could've had but it looks like the pinterest logo fml*

I saw Billy the Bat for the first time in a Book-Off recently and I was shocked it wasn't already a cult classic internationally tbfh LFG!!!!!!

I had too much coffee and too much sudden socialization- Im about to have a nervous breakdown over the smallest percieved social fuck up 🫠 Time for some fat fuck food, shower, and bed

I went outside and left my neighbourhood for work between fighting some mild agoraphobia bc it's been a week since last exposure and feeling thin af bc my clothes i bought in japan fit better- I have decided I should make a chibi model to learn animation with-when that'll happen? only my whims know

Me wondering why I'm anxious- also me, on my 4th coffee and doing intensive brain thinky work bc I got a thiccc packet to work through

Oh thank GOD one of the financial things I was waiting on got confirmation. August is gonna stay a bit rough bc I guess everything is in September ig I can stop stressing about the immediate and start thinking a month or two ahead now tfg

I did my 6-month Tarot draw a little earlier than usual...and November looks fucking foreboding...5 of Pentacles is in the top 5 cards I dread ok And I hate that it low-key lines up with a different reading I've done before where I asked about X situation 3-months from now and it gave me The Devil

I'm so glad ENA is finding her crowd out here :3c Hopefully when I get a chance to renew my Live2D license, I can offer to do model rigs again Fun fact: I made that ENA fan model in the Free Version of Live2D Cubism Her body is like that more bc I'd crash out fr on doing more art of her left half

HEY ENA FANS- I made a FREE VTuber Model for funsies See Reply for more info Pls Enjoy! :3c #ENA #EnaJoelg #Vtuber