"I pledge allegiance to DONALD TRUMP of the United States of America, and to the CORRUPTION for which HE stands, one Nation under TRUMP, ABSOFCKINGLUTELY DIVISIBLE, with liberty and justice for NONE. Except TRUMP AND HIS FAMILY"

RELEASE THE ANIMANIACS!

I mean, the entire Greg Cow pastiche

Bride of Frankenstein + VEEP = Tulsi Gabbard. I’m sorry, but I’ve never been able to see anything else.

So AI replaces drivers. AI replaces workers who use drivers. Robots replace people in general. Robots take self-driving taxis to to “work” to service AI data centers. Meanwhile, all humans are at home living off the ABUNDANCE created by all this AI Universal income. Like really slow 3 card monte

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH The world’s biggest pussies. Especially the mook with the beard. New York’s Whiniest. What should they have done? Throw snowballs back. Punks.

I’m afraid this is a likely possibility in my son’s future, down to the protagonist’s name.

Nicole Malliotakis is racist trash. In case you didn’t know her or her district.

Mastered the latest Zelda game last night, but won’t tell his GF.

Sergeant Detritus…get the Piecemaker.

Might makes right. That’s what he’s saying here. Ancestral history be damned, diplomacy be damned. If I can punch you in the face more and harder than you punch me, I can take all your shit. That’s bananas 🍌 🍌 🍌

Folks, be prepared for the Democratic leadership - @hakeem-jeffries.bsky.social and @schumer.senate.gov (aka Temu Obama and The Milquetoast) to serve up some of the *WORST* opposition party pushback to Trump’s SOTU since Neville Chamberlain gave Hitler a reacharound.

For a small fee, I would be happy to smash any interested looksmaxxer in the face with a hammer.

This is podcaster behavior. Even J. Edgar Hoover wasn’t this embarrassing.

Remember when the Republican Party used to be about government staying out private business lanes? LOL good times*. *(They weren’t, but this is immaculate craziness)

Losers: “Ahem, haw [throat clearing], well if you take into consideration the cough cough salience of the OMG IS THAT A UFO?!?!” Winners: “No. No. No. Yes. No. AYFKM No. Yes. No.”

I’ve never met the lad, but one of my high school best friend’s nephew, Chris Lillis, just won the $&@%#! GOLD MEDAL in mixed team aerials. HELL YEAH!!!

ICE agents are murderers, and I truly do not care if saying that puts me on a government list. Not because I’m important (I’m not), but because they’re thin-skinned.

Interviewer: "When you look at today's numbers, what do they tell us about the effectiveness of Donald Trump's tariffs." Me, very serious economist: "Hahahahahahahahahahaha.... hahahahahahahaha.... hahahahahahahahahaha... oh, wow." Sometimes all you can do is laugh at the absurdity of it all.

Mayor Wayne WHATNOW?

The dirtiest 🧵 ever. I guarantee you will want some…how do they say it in French? Vengeance?

I hope somebody is collecting all this art. #PunchoutAtOKCorral

[sigh] Okay, once again, for the people in the back….. THE @nytimes.com LOVES DONALD TRUMP AND WILL DO ANYTHING TO HELP HIM. Also, THE @nytimes.com HATES PROGRESSIVES, AND WILL DO ANYTHING IN THEIR POWER TO CUT THEM DOWN. Stop giving the @nytimes.com your money, FFS.

I can’t pick one scene. Duvall really didn’t do much scene chewing. He inhabited. He was fully THERE. And one of the best all around actors of all time. RIP.

Congressman Randy Fine is a horrible, bigoted POS who deserves a solid kick in the crotch. Are duels still illegal? I would like to make an exception.

I have to admit, it’s certainly better for my mental health, but I do kinda miss finding these absolute chuds on Twitter and creatively telling what dumb, horrible morons they are.

Putting my marker down now: Platner is the new, more obvious Fetterman.

Of course the testing of the “health concerns” was rigorous.

THIS IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE A BRAGGING POINT, JUNIOR

Philip Seymour Hoffman. I was in our HS production of Guys & Dolls with him my freshman (his Senior) year. Did Taming of the Shrew with his sister.

STG the next time Bondi has to show up for questioning in front of Congress, she’s gonna be wearing one of these

Ah, I should’ve known. It wasn’t something worse, but it was infinitely dumber.

The Boy, who is a massive Nic Cage fan, is gonna be so excited.

I don’t know what’s happening. You don’t know what’s happening. The people who SHOULD KNOW don’t know what’s happening. Are we prepping for an invasion of Mexico? UFO’s? Something dumber, but even worse? No one knows. THERE’S A HORSE LOOSE IN THE HOSPITAL!

[searching through rulebooks] Sorry, but there’s nothing in here that says a dog CAN’T participate in the Olympics

Age verification? Sears Catalog (hard copy).

🇵🇷🧵❤️

Every Super Bowl AI ad was bringing you one step closer to SkyNet

I’m confused between the American journalists who say this wasn’t political, and, say, the @nypost.com, who can’t be bothered to understand English, much less Spanish.

Saw the premiere movie at one of the last drive-in theaters in upstate NY.

Seahawks (*eventually) kicked the Trump-favored Patriots asses. Bad Bunny’s excellent (and educational!) Halftime Show. Even if you don’t speak Spanish, you’d have to be basic to not understand the story through the visuals alone. Most importantly, it broke all the right people’s brains. *9/10.

You're laughing? The team that lends their plane for deportation flights and whose owner is best pals with Trump got utterly humiliated in front of a hundred million viewers, and you're laughing?

Fire @washingtonpost.com owner Jeffrey Bezos into the sun. For, let’s say, science. Or just shits and giggles.

Greg Bovino protests the public & press coverage of ICE and himself, personally.