funny im losing interest in hosting magmas but still really crazy about using the program for just art. i think I definitely went overboard with trying to constantly rope ppl into drawing w me. the allure of parallel play

look at my wips

gigi perez, perform near where i live again and you will be reincarnated as a lotus flower

I wanted to watch Malcolm in the middle but I ended up drawing spamton penis ):

me: we were raised within a bg that romanticized passion in any form. i sometimes fear im too predisposed to arguing harm: this is why Mexicans watch dragon ball. we could manage anger through projection me: I’m imagining goku hitting you harm: I’m imagining goku hitting you and he’s winning

harm: what does bottom dysphoria feel like? me: it feels like im green???

my jaw aches lately

my jaw aches lately

didn’t realize just how much more social and expressive i’ve become until recently. so happy and excited about being paired with other trans ppl for some classes that i’m running circles around them. feels like i’m finding more of my voice lately

impulse control management has basically been my brain projecting this image the second I get too tempted

nightmare nightmare nightmare

can finally get back to neo again muehehe

spent all day deep cleaning my apartment and listen to musicals. feels good but now I desperately want to go to a musical performance again. it’s been too long

making 4 sketches that I intend to render. yes they’re all related to spamton. im still stuck in the FUCKING BUILDING!!!!

sometimes your heart yearns to be around sea creatures and it results in an impulse decision with potential consequences. but it’s literally ok because i will live forever (doomed)

trying to get better at tempering my hyperactivity, esp with about talking to new ppl or friends, but i also get so excited i start pacing circles around a person like a rabbit. grown ass man btw

wip

got clocked by the only other trans person in my class immediately when we had to choose lab partners lol. i like their vibe already

doug

I am fond of fanon addispam/bse spamton cuz i, too, am a small little man with chronic baby face. I've been on and off t for a long while, and lemme tell you, my genetics fights twink death like an immune system fights an illness

being in a place where I burst out laughing a lot more in the last year than the previous 5 years is really nice but I have no handle on that sound anymore. it’s so loud and unrestrained where it’s just a noise now lmaooo

I love drawing circle glasses so much. everyone get new prescriptions rn

had a lot of ppl gawking at my outfit today bus occurrence

schools back. its that time of year

theres a dude with the same name as me in one of my classes and he's exactly what i was hoping to transition into back when i first started t. i look and dress nothing like him. much to think about

is it common to think of a laundry list of everything you find admirable about someone when talking to them and you hope for the day you have the excuse to lay it all out to them? this happens often with a lot of friends

so glad about dr leading to me reconnecting with old friends and making new ones. it’s the most fun I’ve had in ages

movie I didn’t like growing up that’s been stuck in my head

movie I didn’t like growing up that’s been stuck in my head

i always fear my personal posts always seem targeted or like i’m vagueing about something specific. i really hope it’s never taken that way beyond what im generally feeling or dealing a lot with. the yapperrr

despite talking about yearning with the same urgency of a person trying to get a rabid raccoon off them, majority of my crushes feel like a “ah fuck alright then.” i catch and lose them so frequently that it just feels a bit silly to me

erm

lowkey ass at dming anyone rn cuz of small mental crash (adhd med break.) just easier to talk via servers rn cuz my brains turned off until class starts back up

going to engage in unemployed behavior where I get high as shit on a Tuesday afternoon to hopefully fix my sleep schedule

magma but im soooo sleepy. yezzirizcoldasah 😔

saying I need to settle down on yearning and prioritize myself, then proceeding to think about it for one second and dry heave loudly like a cat

gathering friends to make a latin grab bag playlist makes me happy. life could be a dream

time to rewatch look back and remember what it’s all about

silly

silly

// vent , very mild cartoonish gore lol shoutout to the girlies who still make vent art like they’re in 2000s deviant. from a couple days ago

another New Year’s resolution is i need to get more openly cheesy and sentimental. friends that are so forwardly affectionate have been my lifeline the last month with the rsd soup I’ve been in. i need to say things that are true and beautiful

aware that I’ve had two major party nights the last week…but the nearby dance venue is having an electronic house event….fuck…

watched hellboy and shape of water back to back

(one second into the new year) alright i gotta lock back in

watching mash with ben has also been so important to me