Wasn’t our night tonight but it’s hard to argue with this view #guardsball

JOOOOOOOSEEEEEEE #guardsball

Dinner tonight made me realize my family’s true Italian superpower: being able to eat so much garlic that there’s a 5 mile vampire exclusion zone around my house.

They called David Fry taking a 95 mph fastball to the nose a foul ball? Guards are literally bleeding and they can’t get a call to go their way

Is there a dentist in the house? 😬😬😬

Steven Kwan: imma bunt Angel Martinez:

Browns win and we get the first rain in weeks?

3 blocked kicks in the space of 5 minutes of TV (Browns, Eagles, Jets) has me like

Ohio catching strays within the first five minutes of the show is the sign of an excellent ep. Honestly, we deserve it. @lionsledbydonkeys.bsky.social

If I invite you into my home and you make the decision to change the orientation of the toilet paper roll…don’t expect another invitation.

Chomos say what?

I don’t know what’s worse: getting ads in my Instagram for “prison connections”, or only having to go three posts deep to find someone from the Youngstown area

Hope Andre Szmyt didn’t sign any long leases for his apartment because his ass is about to get run the fuck out of town

Bring out Shedur for next week. What do we have to lose?

Well at least this afternoon hasn’t been a total waste

Jerry Jeudy must be sponsored by Nestle with butterfingers like his 😭 #Browns

Calling #Browns vs #Bengals the “Battle of Ohio” instantly outs you as a tourist. It’s the football version of yelling “Frisco!” while holding a selfie stick on a cable car.

@lionsledbydonkeys.bsky.social Enjoying a quiet Labor Day morning coffee with the new ep and just about fell out of my chair at “They’re not ready for hulkamania in Constantinople, brother!” #ottomanhulkamaniacs

This is how I know I’m an old guy now: out in the back yard and there’s this big flock of geese in the field behind my house. These 2 young boys, probably no older than 12 start running into the flock and harassing the birds.

Single guy pro tip: Bed rot your entire weekend so when you get up at 5 am on Monday with an upset stomach from eating garbage for 72 hours, the second item on your agenda will be “Get the fuck up or you’re going to die. The first will be confessing your sins to the porcelain throne.

Angel Hogan was not on my bingo card for today

Now that the failure in chief is back from felching Russian caviar, can we get back to that whole Epstein thing now plz?

Just another day at the Fleshlight factory

Maybe it’s just me, but the thought of sitting in a purposefully hot, humid box after a strenuous workout seems like the opposite of what you’d wanna do. This is my call to gyms everywhere to include restaurant-style walk in refrigerators so us sweaty mfs can cool down more effectively 🫠🥵

Gotta love getting an unauthorized sign in alert on my most important personal account when I’m barely awake. Adrenaline still beats caffeine any day! 🫠

He’s a good pitcher, but I can’t help but giggle when I hear “Slade Cecconi”. Who names their child “Slade”? Did your mom really like your dad’s Deathstroke cosplay?

#Guardsball giving me whiplash rn

TFW the beta alanine kicks in and my ears and lower back feel like I’m licking a battery terminal

Believing the American education system will inform students of how to use LLMs and AI tech responsibly is about as logical as believing the American education system will prepare students in anything. There’s a reason they make you repeat HS courses at uni: Your HS probably didn’t teach you much.

Obviously way late to the #beatsaber party but clearly this is the only type of game where being called a “sweaty” would actually be a compliment. I sure hope my neighbors like DnB

Decided getting SteamVR working properly in my Linux VM was more important than the other housework I have to do 🤷🏻‍♂️

It’s probably a good thing I live alone. I don’t know anyone else who would tolerate my morning routine of vocal stimming by belting divorced dad rock lyrics in a country accent

I am unreasonably excited for my workout tonight

“May every day be another wonderful secret”

I run AdGuard Home in my docker stack and I honestly can’t tell if it’s working or not. It says stuff is getting blocked in the db but somehow I’m still getting ads served to me 🤷🏻‍♂️

Damn, am I gonna have to start watching AEW again?

I hear if you eat enough of this stuff you’ll end up living in a van down by the river

Nothing quite as humbling as trying to do a job that requires technical expertise but not “my” technical expertise. I shouldn’t be fooling with HVAC systems 💀

The ADHD ambivert’s curse is wanting to make friends with everyone like a golden retriever because you have SO MUCH LOVE AND ENERGY TO SHARE AT THIS EXACT MOMENT…but you can’t just come at people like that because they’ll think you’re a loon or off your meds 🥲

Idc if he’s from Cleveland or not, Batman > Superman, 7 days a week and twice on Sunday.

This rabbit is probably gonna be a little bummed when the landscapers come and take out this hedgerow but it’s gotta goooo

Here’s my solution: go back to sortition for our elected representatives. In ancient Athens, if you wanted to be in govt as a citizen, you put your name into a lottery system. If you got picked, you get to do the job for a year, no longer. And you pay them exceedingly well to keep the lobbyists out.

The universal language of music

Pow! Right in the childhood

I remember when the internet and email was a new and exciting place. Now I apparently pay taxes to have the feds send me literal spam and feed brown people to aquatic reptiles. I hope everyone has the day they voted for!

"The framers of the constitution did not have even the faintest notion of what would become known as 'baby oil', but the court believes that, if they had, they would have found its unimpeded usage in acts recorded to video tape as fundamental a right as the right to bear arms or assemble freely"