"An unboxing is just the opposite of an unbirthing" My friends just be saying shit after the bubblegum crisis

She's a nurse

Know where I can get a late night snack?

These allergies are killing my dick sucking throat 😔

I just showered and I'm already sweaty, lmao

so like lemme weigh in on this as someone who is more financially comfortable than many in my generational cohort: everything I have gained seems precarious and temporary because I know the people with real money will take it all from me the second they get an opportunity and no one will protect me.

If you subject me to Pride Discourse this month I'll fill your mailbox with centipedes.

This isn't about any specific boy. But how the FUCK do I keep finding hairy autistic fat boys in inconvenient parts of the country lmao

Microwave "quesadilla." Cheese on tortilla and hot sauce, leave me alone it's good!!

Girls only want one thing and it's disgusting (their ears scratched)

Little joys: when the dick is just as good as I hoped it would be when I invited a nerdy friend to come over :)

What if I ate half of a meatloaf sandwich covered in cheese

Me when I leave my food too long in the fridge and I see the color blue: ah, not unlike the Europeans hitting the north American continent, this shit has been colonized

Making art and eating ass on this fine Saturday. As god intended.

Do you think Nicolas Cage stole the declaration of independence because he'd never be able to shit again if he stole the constitutional?

I can't believe the way some people will just get on these apps, chat with you, delete their profile, reconnect with you like you never chatted before, and keep going. Like what do you get out of that? My sample size is like 3 people now, but like, what's the point?

Deep down, aren't we all the same? A shuffling collection of weary bones wandering the earth searching for fried potatoes?

Work is over, dinner's on the stove, and it's #TummyTuesday , y'all.

Why don't you use AI to vibe code you some bitches

Some of the references I used for these black-and-white shoots 💕

My roommate surprised me after work with a cookie cake lmao

You’re trapped in the last TV show you watched, where are you? Penguindrum? Isn't it electrifying?

33 sure did start off horny lol

Movie date, strixhaven bundle to open, lunch with friends + cake, making myself a little fancy dinner, and then sitting my fat hairy ass on a cute skunk friend on Sunday. My birthday weekend is gonna eat 🥵

If you invite me into your house I WILL coopt your kitchen to make dinner, that's the gospel truth.

Tired: going back to work in the morning Wired: resting my head on your belly while I suck your dick lmao

Day drinking, sun bathing, cat scathing in my backyard on this fine day of PTO 😎🌞

"Pigma balls" you say, not knowing I'm already in that cockpit schlonking that shit sick nasty style with his fupa in my face and his pubes in my teeth

Expired Patreon poll result from January (part 2 of 2) Well, you asked Ben to sit on your face, no backing out now.

halsin should look like this and it's shameful he doesn't

Tummy? On this Tuesday? It's more likely than you think

Detroit: Become Husky

good morning gay people in my phone 🌞

This would fix me tbh

I dunno, I like my subs to be home by 2-3 am so they can cuddle up in bed and tell me what naughty bois they were

I don't know anything about this man but I'd have his children. Radical Fish's pixel art in Alabaster Dawn is so charming.

See, I have no choice but to give up; After all, there are no such things in this world as miracles. So, what would I possibly gain? Would I break the world's shell? (Roses and melodrama this #TummyTuesday)

big polar bear, fat warm stomach!!!

Can't wait to find out if the fetish/clothing stuff I ordered from Canada is gonna incur a tariff once it crosses the border, lmao

Gay powers restored!

Side profile hard launch

I wanna be boyfriends and boyfriends with Neil Gamby.

Sunrise

Thot files

Got a brand new pair of #tightwhities

Need to post on Tuesdays more often

Cleaning out makes me wanna put a little air freshener around my waist. Like hell yeah gimme that new clean butthole smell

Chinese buffet was pretty tasty! Guest starring Her