“Attention and money.” Sounds like someone I know.

Sniffies of the Week! (Although it’s a little on the nose, I’m still amused.)

So whether or not you believe in astrology, and I know I am on the fence all the time, there’s no denying certain things. A friend of mine, actually two different people, recently expressed to me that Cancers born in June and very early July are the worst.

My seasonal rage/depression is setting in early this year. I suggest everybody give me a wide berth with this fucking holiday cheer for the 5 five weeks or so.

Reminiscing about that Thanksgiving that I had a three-way. Good times.

Christmastime is basically a national holiday for toxic positivity.

I’m not much of a grudge holder, but if I decide that I no longer want to talk to you,… I can keep that going forever. No drama, just severing ties. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

At this wedding, hetero, blend of Indian and Quaker cultures. Honesty been one of the best weddings I’ve been to. (The best being the Burner nuptials.) it’s been beautiful and heartfelt with choreography. No elephant but the groom showed upon a horse.

What I have learned in my many decades on planet earth is this: people will never do what they’re supposed to do. No matter how many times you put the correct options in front of them, they will not do them. And it is most always to their detriment and those around them.

Sniffies of the Week

And the Sniffies of the Week goes to…

And the Sniffies of Week Award goes to…

Love all these motherfuckers who can’t let us have one fucking moment of happiness with regard to yesterday’s election. Yes our system is fucked and imperfect, but we’re trying to move forward. It’s not gonna fucking change overnight. Jesus fucking Christ man.

Christmastime is the epoch for toxic positivity. If you don’t drink the Kool-Aid (or is that eggnog?) you’re a bad person, a Grinch.

Do anyone who hates Halloween, have a terrible day. You lack imagination and a sense of whimsy. I actually feel bad for you and how boring you must be.

I really wanted to attend the No Kings protest tomorrow. But I have to choose between this and earning living. I feel guilty, but the reality of rent and a pile of past due bills is bearing down on me. I no longer have the luxury of setting my own schedule.

I remember once an after hours party in a somewhat heated discussion being told that I should give Azealia Banks a break because she’s probably mentally ill. Yeah…

So I haven’t we heard anything about/from Charlie Kirk’s alleged killer? Are we just forgetting about this now? Like how is there no coverage anywhere? No legacy media. Haven’t seen a damn thing online.

Just so you understand what lawless pieces of sh¡ť the govt of lzraieI is. “We’re gawd’s favorite, so we can do whatever we want…”

Again I say: It would be a real shame if this guy got doxed. A real damn shame.

Dear Internet: who is this wormy dirtbag? It would be a shame of someone found out who he was and doxed him www.instagram.com/reel/DPW6xnC...

“Say less” has become my motto for 2025. Although maybe making this statement is even saying too much. But trust: the less you say, the happier you will be. And the happier everyone around you will be, because honesty, no one wants to listen to your bullshit.

Friend of mine has what is probably a complex form of ADHD, which has not been diagnosed. But you don’t gotta be a fucking PhD in psychology to see the signs. She repeats herself constantly of the same things within the same conversation within the same hour.

Work meeting could’ve been an email. Never thought I would be in a position to have to say that again.

I find it very kind, but also mildly condescending when someone wants to argue with me about my descriptions of my current body. I’m a middle-aged man that I would absolutely describe as fat. Maybe that’s a negative word but honestly, it’s just a descriptor to me.

Most of these mf-ers don’t even know what half of the buttons, dials, and switches on a mixer do, much less understand the musical spectrum and history of this art form.

Attn all ICE agents! Here’s an announcement from our front window: Chicago hates you, and you are not welcome here!

Unpopular opinion: so very glad summer is over. I like summertime things but hate the heat and the pace. I’m broke and tired and looking forward to autumn.

Now, if we can just get everyone else to do this and leave Twitter.

A doctor on social media broke down the screaming tangerine’s condition. And it’s not good. He says he seen all of this before, the contusions, the swollen ankles — probably congestive heart failure. Says Taco Tits has “6 to 8 months” to live. Can’t wait.

Pulled 3 different affirmations from this jar. All corny af. All returned to jar.

Dear Everyone: please buy headphones. No one wants to listen to your sh¡t on the bus or in stores or at work. Why is this even a thing? Please stop.

Pro Tip: do not look at social media first thing in the morning. It will set the tone for the day and it’s usually not a good one.

So I’m starting to watch Dexter: Original Sin. It’s basically Dexter: Muppet Babies.

Sometimes when there’s big gay events going on and I don’t attend, I have a little bit of FOMO. But then I realize there’s reasons why I don’t go. Not trying to yuck anybody’s yum, I’m just not down for it anymore.

@ivehaditpodcast.bsky.social has come up with the best nickname for the screaming tangerine: Cankles McTaco-Tits. Happy Friday, everyone!

Well, at least I know Taco Bell. I’ll always be there for me. #SomeonePleaseKillMe.

It used to be that first thing in the morning was when I was my most grumpy. But now it turns out it’s when I get off work, but it’s also in the morning.

For 12 years, I worked for myself. I did things my way only interacting with those that I wanted to interact with. I feel like I was maybe kind of in a little bit of a bubble. Now that I have an employer and coworkers and I’m overrun by ditzy know-nothing 20-somethings.

The one motherfucking time I have to take the CTA and I’m trying to be on time somewhere two trains are delayed. Fucking great.

I’m totally down with Liam Neeson playing Frank Drebin, Jr. in the new, The Naked Gun. People either don’t know or don’t remember that Leslie Nielsen was known for playing these dramatic roles in B-movies. He was not known as a comedian. I think that Liam Neeson is similarly surprising choice.

Another piece of shit flushed down the toilet: Hulk Hogan is dead. I bet a lifetime use of steroids has something to do with it. Allegedly.

You know what triggers me? People who are constantly talking about how everything triggers them. Fuck you and grow the hell up.

When I was on Silicon Valley, we didn’t think robot nazis would be here until at least 2030.

Had a terrible nightmare that I had a face sunburn with defined edges so it resembled T****’s horrid spray tan.

Star Trek is my emotional support television show (movie). Honestly, any of them. Except for that stupid stupid stupid Section 31 movie. I’m just gonna pretend that never happened. I put on #StrangeInNewWorlds in the background yesterday while I was doing other things and it was definitely soothing.

Switching over to Apple Music because I no longer want to support the military industrial complex via Spotify. That said, I hate it here. This app is trash. It’s a sad little rip off of Spotify minus the constant attempts to sell me some shit.

Deleted the apps. Again. Trying to stay focused and they not helping at all. I think of all the hours I’ve wasted over the years on these stupid things, having meaningless conversations with people who ultimately did not deserve my attention. Free your dick and your mind will follow.

So I’m washing. #JustLikeThat and I kept noticing Carrie taking Tums — least 3x throughout the episode. Is this the modern day version a woman in a Jane Austin movie who has a cough in act 2 and dies of cholera in act 3? @goodnightnite.bsky.social , I feel like you should have opinions.