hey allright okay, mine won a contest and was recently listed in @electricliterature.com's best short story collections of the year. if you're into melancholic literary realism then maybe this is for you: share.google/sFdhjh5R3KvP...

I. wanna piss my pants all night. And poop my pants every day.

For Christmas, im just going to buy everyone a Koosh Ball

Hi i’m in Tokyo. Every little public square looks like a Splatoon level.

So did any of you actually play cards with the special edition dvd of Snatch (Dir. Guy Ritchie, 2000) poker set or what

the ice cream truck came by today. It’s November and 55 degrees.

I heard the macarena last week

it’s a good night for Maine. Go kick rocks, fascists.

my city’s landlord ass mayor sending out a texting push to get people to vote No on a minimum wage increase? Go kick rocks, pal.

Years ago I watched a presentation by a former park ranger. His message was largely about childhood literacy. Which is fine and good. But the weirdest, most kinda off-message thing he said, which I think about the time was his closing line. “Reading. It’s like watching a movie in your mind.”

I' LL BE THE HIT OF THE PARTY

can’t believe i didn’t think of this costume idea until AFTER

In case you needed to zone in and focus, somebody made a compilation of all the Roller Coaster Tycoon carousel music. www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tpL...

I had a legit terrifying dracula nightmare last night and you know what? Pretty cool dream.

A reminder thread that Blake Mills has quietly been one of the most innovative and versatile modern indie rock and jazz musicians for the past 15 years.

Growing up I had neighbors who were convinced they had a ghost in their 1970s era ranch home that they had owned since the 1980s.

Fulfilling my destiny by buying a copy of famous tough-guys-only novel BLOOD MERIDIAN.

I’m at a record store and they’re playing Vance Joy and this is the absolute worst shit i’ve ever heard on my life who likes this how is this popular ???????

what if i gave up being a scientist to become a song and dance man???

Hey @regrethorse.bsky.social snag a fritter and come meet me in Albany!

Fritter Friday is back, baby!

A good gag: in old cartoons when a very fancy person shows up in a super long car

If you’re in the car with me late at night and i’m driving guess what sorry pal the only thing we’re listening to is late 50s detective jazz.

i think I’d like celebrity culture more if we still had Al Hirschfeld with us

I’m glad i’m past the point in my career where I have to do trust falls at retreats.

I don’t know why it took me this long to see ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13 but this movie is TOUGH.

Saw some dumb thing online that said that even revisionism can’t make Altman’s Popeye a good movie and that’s one of the worst takes of all time!!!!

shout it from the rooftops

Fifty cents for a bag of chips. Popcorn, peanuts, pack of Ritz.

Your down-the-block neighbor’s big scary dog got out and he’s running towards YOU.

It’s officially Jandek szn gang @corwoodindustries.bsky.social

Honey crisp apples are for capitalist plebs.

The worst part about going back to school is having to go to the campus library and use the printers. The experience did not improve over the past 15 years, and I do not recommend.

Cackling over here

Reminder that Born Under Punches is one of the toughest opening tracks ever. The glitches, the screaming, the groove. All timer.

The older I get the stupider music I listen to is

God this was the best moment of my summer

Shout out to that time last week when I accidentally found a covered bridge on the way home from work

Bold chex mix comes in a black bag because it’s for tough guys only

This is actually one of the funniest jokes I’ve ever read.

This is a perfect wiki article en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puppy_c...

Welcome to my Coffee Shop. Have a cup of joe!!!

Eating saltines laying down this ain’t bad

Remembering the time in middle school when I went to see a screening Star Wars Episode 1 and myself and the kid I convinced to come with me were the only people in the theatre.