Why do bars have malort? That shit taste disgusting! What cocktail requires it so I can stay the fuck away? It’s like the bartender brings it out just to torture the people at the bar with a “free shot.” It’s probably the same bottle from when they opened the damn bar.

Sometimes you just need to be around ratchet people having a good ol’ ratchet time

I was supposed to go listen to some blues tonight but I got settled in once I got off from work lmao

I’m thinking maybe a jazz bar or something tonight? Not sure but I’m antsy lol

I ain’t been out lately since I’ve been so damn busy this month. I NEED TO DO SOMETHING‼️

What’s considered the club now? Because it ain’t too many places with space to dance that’s not a lounge with sections. Are lounges the new clubs then? Can I say “let’s go to a lounge” without you thinking club? Or are they synonymous now? Clubs sound too high intensity for some and lounge is chill.

The only thing I like about cooler weather is the fact I can dress up more. Other than that spring needs hurry the fuck up and get here!

I know this random ass hell but when was the last time you heard a crackhead died? I think they immortal or something

literally me, thinking i was gonna breeze thru Intro to Church Music. that final paper had me in CRISIS.

I remember when I was in college I decided to take a hip hop history class as an elective, thinking I was gonna just listen to music each class. That 30-page paper describing in what ways the political and social climate affected Black society/ hip hop in the 80’s to early 90’s whooped my ass.

Love a happy hour appetizer

People be naming they aggressive ass dogs the softest names they can think of. Why princess tryna rip my throat out and foaming at the mouth?

I don’t know what they be putting in those drinks at urban social but they owe me a garage door lmao

Why is Europe considered its own continent? It doesn’t meet the criteria! It should just be called part of the Eurasian continent.

Renting ranches out is expensive 🫠. Happy 70th birthday old man

So how long we go be keeping these thanksgiving leftovers?

People who get onion-y food items first thing in the morning need to get they ass whooped. Why you gotta make it smell musty before the day even start?

I have a taste for some Korean fried chicken for some reason

I don’t know how people be surviving making less than 70k a year! I make more than that and I feel like I barely be above water. I have no clue where this money done went! Y’all some fighters for sure

I hate when barbers go up on price but don’t do anything different to justify it

I always soak my vegetables in salt water and vinegar before I wash them off because you never know what’s hiding in it.

I hate my old gun range closed down. That was the one I took people I didn’t trust 100% to know how to handle a gun. I wouldn’t have minded getting kicked out of that range because it was dirty anyway. But I damn sure don’t take people to my nice range lol. You ain’t about to jeopardize that one.

I went to the grocery store and forgot to get a bottle of wine 🫠

I’ll put money down that they caved on the budget on purpose so they could lose the ACA and have a cause to rally behind for the midterms so they can safely stay in power in 2026.

I think people should experience a beef rib (not short rib) at least once in their life. Yea the flavor profile is exactly that of brisket for an even crazier price but it has that cool factor to it 😂. Just once though, you can’t convince me it’s somehow better than brisket.

Man my cousin shot some hogs in Huntsville, I’m go see if wanna give me one

I hate how all the mouth wash they have out is alcohol free. I wanna feel what the germs is feeling so I know it’s working right. I need to feel they pain.

I love anything with cheese 😂

I’m a sucker for cheese but this raclette they have at the wine bar about to fuck me up, I already know it 😭

My vacation almost over 🥺😫😫

You know what’s better than sex? Pulling all the crab meat out in one go. Just slide it all out the leg like a boss

They had to drag me out of this motherfucker. Ticket was $145 to sample the top 50 bbq spots in Texas and I definitely got my money worth! Lines were long but they moved real fast. It was hard to say who had the best because they all was cutting up yesterday. I never ate so much food in my life lol

I’m done with this cold weather yall can have it back

I hate how hard it is to fry duck it ain’t nothing like chicken

People do not be out like they used too

I never really have a taste for Italian food but lately I’ve been feening for some cacio e’ pepe

PV homecoming better watch out for me! And no I did not ask to be off that day, they just gonna have to find out when I call in sick Saturday and Monday 💜💛

I love me a good strip club night! A fine performer is cool, but one that knows her way around a pole is gonna always get my money first! I just have to reward hard work and dedication

Tickets secured to the BBQ festival in Lockhart next month!

I ain’t been to an RnB night in a minute. I might go out tomorrow

How are there still new crackheads being created? You would think all the crackhead stories people tell would steer motherfuckers away?

People paying $32 dollars for coochie hair now? Ain’t that free?

These colossal shrimp I bought from the store just screaming for me to fry them when I get home from work

There is no such thing as a friendly game of spades.

You can’t beat a byob that doesn’t charge you an arm and a leg to walk through the door

Why the hell is the Houston UFL team called the Gamblers? We can’t even gamble down here unless you find an Indian reservation, people just be naming shit for no reason

I’ve been fighting a Charlie horse in my foot for the past 3 minutes. I think it’s about to win

You gotta switch to basketball after that lmao

Fuck Christopher Columbus! But I will take that off day Monday lmao

It’s 78 degrees in Houston right now and I don’t know how to act lmao