Look, I’m no fan of Jordan Peterson, but he was a more worthy adversary than Clavicular. If I must choose which drug addled lunatic pipelining young men I want to fight, fighting Peterson at least felt honorable for the first few years of his career.

as always i am sympathetic to the fact that male loneliness is a real problem but the solution to male loneliness is robust afterschool and other social programs and shit like accessibility to public parks and the lonely men take industry opposes these things so i don't know what i'm supposed to do

We need to teach Gen Z better. These young folks seriously don’t know about hanky code. Like what the fuck are you talking about have you NEVER set foot in the gay club?

My very cisgender wife- What the fuck is a puppygirl? Me, a transgender, my eyes glazing over- I’m going to need you to sit down for this one

New Substack open.substack.com/pub/preacher...

Whenever regressives complain that Muslims are trying to take over America, I think I might just start saying “Yes, we are” just to see what they say.

So, a child apparently called my child the n word with a hard r yesterday and I’m not even sure what to do with that. My kid is white. I’m both troubled and puzzled by this development in bigoted bullying behavior.

New Substack open.substack.com/pub/preacher...

I have somehow found myself on trans polycule Substack, and I’m ngl, this is the most entertained I’ve been by other people’s tea since I got drunk and added over 100 drag queens on Facebook.

New Substack up now. (Also, not sure if the pic I used is AI or not, if someone can confirm just lmk and I’ll change it. I just did a google search)

I stg if regressives end up doing the next Jan 6th over a dude named “Chud” we gotta just send em all to Florida and let that be their country because we cannot coexist peacefully.

Conservatives love making trans women a talking point because they love the concept of a woman that the world will openly applaud them for raping and killing.

New Substack

I have such a love/hate relationship with the girl I used to be because that bitch was mean and awful and horrid but also iconic. Like she was sad and horrible, but objectively, she did slay.

New Substack

That moment when your teen wants to wear literally the exact same style of clothing you wore as a teen and you come to the stark realization that yes, that stuff is kind of ugly and far too expensive for what it is. Your parents were right. 😬

New Substack

New Substack

Motherfuckers, we are spending billions bombing schoolgirls in Iran. I don’t care if every poor person wants a rotisserie chicken beamed directly into their asshole. Are you kidding me right now?

When I said I wanted Gen Z to do mischief and learn to risk assess, the Naruto speedruns in the church of Scientology were exactly the kind of thing I was asking for. Thank you. I’m so proud of you. 🥲

Gigantic Moth found by the janitor at work

New Substack

Dating advice for men Instead of sending her a dick pic, send her a Dik Dik pic. No woman wants to see your dick. Most women want to see a Dik Dik.

New Substack

You’ve gotta be kidding me! Bro, I just want to leave TikTok! Why is Larry Ellison holding me hostage? 😭

New Substack

Been making some art

New Substack

New Substack up now

Ya know, these young men wanted to live out their fantasy of living in the Roman Empire. They sure did get it, didn’t they? The Caligula era specifically. Better suit up, the president is about to have ya’ll shooting at the water in the strait of Hormuz because he can’t get his boats through.

New Substack, up now

New Substack out now open.substack.com/pub/preacher...

Spamming pictures of Diogenes and his plucked chicken in the comments of transphobes because they are too stupid to get it and it makes them mad.

Men, I stg you need to eat something that is not beige. There is no reason for you to be taking as long in public shitters as yall take.

What the fuck is this? Wrong answers only.

Conservatives- Drag queens are so scandalous and sexual! Drag Queen- *Comes onstage dressed as a literal lawnmower*

Guy- *Burns down a warehouse* Every Appalachian Writer- This is our time to shine. We have been preparing our entire lives for this.

Idk why Chamel Abdulkarim isn’t being hailed the same way Luigi Mangione was. Especially by Appalachians. Bro did something based and literally hurt NO ONE. Only thing that got hurt was same toilet paper. Some of yalls ancestors would be ashamed of you. ohiomemory.ohiohistory.org/archives/216

Honestly, we should have known it would get to this point the moment that the opinions of someone named “CatTurd” started being taken seriously as political commentary

Living in America rn feels like having a giant ass zit that you are waiting to pop.

“We can’t just have a normal time, can we? Everything’s always gotta be bananners.” - My wife @appalachian-hijabi.bsky.social

I’m a Christian, but if y’all say “Christ is King” I’m never leaving my wife or children alone with you. Never met a “Christ is King” Christian that didn’t give off Duggar Diddler vibes.

Y’all are all “Back the Blue” and “You have nothing to worry about if you’re doing nothing wrong” until you got a cop behind you on a 25mph road.

Me to the cis- I love all trans people. All trans people are my siblings in Christ. I will defend them to the death and if you say an unkind word to any of them, you will be my eternal enemy. I will fight you to the gates of hell themselves. Me to other trans people- God y’all are fuckin annoying.

“Drag queens are so sexual and scantily clad!” Sir, I assure you, there is an entire mattress between you and that drag queen.

In keeping with his tradition of stealing Bell Hooks’ book titles, JD Vance’s next memoir will be titled “The will to Change (for fame, power, and Peter Thiel’s money)”