The Apple crisp we made on stream today. Remember, baking stream happens every Tuesday at 1:45pm EST

Going Live at 1:45pm EST

Going live at 1:30pm www.youtube.com/live/Bq68Ru6...

I will never forget that one time I got kicked out of the Steinbeck museum for being homeless.

Going live at 10am www.youtube.com/live/ifSZlMH...

Too many of you children are learning queer theory from the internet instead of from the meanest lesbian you’ve ever met like God intended.

Me at 22- Sure I’ll hang off the side of that moving freight train while eating food from a dumpster. You better put that big unprotected dick in me first tho. Then you can pierce my nose with this safety pin Me now- I went to the Walmart and when I saw the price of hamburger I had a panic attack

Stream at 11:30 www.youtube.com/live/7Jaim_k...

Alright, story time. And this is gonna be a thread. So, yesterday I made breakfast burritos with chorizo. This was, in hindsight, a mistake. But I have a deep love for chorizo. Unfortunately, chorizo does not love me. So at 2:30 this morning my digestive system decided to do a total factory reset

I made a Substack

I see a lot of trans people talking about how they wish they could go back in time and speak to their younger selves but I don’t because then I’d not only have to explain why I’m a man now, but also that martial law is about to be declared because a kid named “Big Balls” got beat up by children.

Streaming at 9:30. Hope to see you there!

Transphobes- All these genders are unnatural Me- Sir, you have obviously never heard of the indomitable asexual nonbinary lizard

The person who put the Labubu on Karl Marx’s grave deserves a spot in MoMA.

There are three types of artists 1) Doot doot. I’m making my little thing. 2) I am meticulous. I am precise. I have slight obsessive compulsive disorder. 3) I AM ANGRY I AM HORNY I JUST HAD AN ECSTATIC VISION FROM GOD AND IF I DONT CREATE SOMETHING IM EITHER GONNA RUN UP A CREDIT CAR OR 💀 MYSELF!

I feel like I’d drink more water if I could install some sort of hamster water bottle in my work station so I could shlorp it when the hyperfixation hits

Idk man, it seems to me that Frog and Toad are suspiciously insistent that they are just friends

I gained so much more peace when I realized that the left and liberals are not uniquely annoying, it’s that the internet is just full of annoying, loud, stupid people, and because I’m on the left, the algorithm will surround me with other people on the left.

Trans Person A- I knew ever since I tried on my mother’s red high heeled shoes at age 5! Trans person B- I had a vague sense of unexplainable self loathing and a ceaseless call towards death until I realized I needed to cut off my titties and now 75% of my mental health issues have been solved.

Someone hacked the Elmo twitter account and called Donald Trump a child fucker before going on an antisemetic rant and that’s the world we live in I guess.

Every day I become more convinced that the internet was a mistake.

I’m looking for a job on indeed Almost every Mexican restaurant is hiring We all know why I feel sick to my stomach

It’s not that GOD is love. It’s that God IS love. Love, in and of itself, in my opinion, is what God is. It’s not a man in the sky looking down and judging you, who is incapable of doing no wrong. The object of worship is love itself. Love is God. If you aren’t loving, you aren’t in worship

I’ve been reading my comments in this bish’s voice lately and it has been helping me take things way less seriously.

We got our cat fixed thinking it would stop her from yowling. It turns out, she’s not in heat. She’s just fucking annoying. That is just what her meow sounds like. God help us all.

It truly took several days for me to fully comprehend that “Alligator Alcatraz” was a real thing and not just the evil scheme created by a Captain Planet villain.

Social Media advertising keeps trying to get me to buy a toupee and I’m a little bit vain so it’s working.

Liberal nonprofits- “They aren’t homeless, they are unhoused.” Actual homeless people- Ok, so those are the homebums. Over there are the dirty kids, aka the crusties or crust punks. Then those are the wooks. Those guys are the old school hobos. And that guy passed out over there is an oogle.

Luna Cat

I should probably say something about us being at war again, but I have a bad habit of cracking jokes to bring levity to unfortunate situations, so I have decided it’s probably best to shut my trap until I’m capable of saying something that isn’t either an inappropriate joke or an animalistic scream

Been looking more into the history of black music because of Juneteenth and just discovered the pure unbridled joy of Parliament Funkadelic. If you still know what planet you are on by minute 3 of this song, you were wound way too tight.

Random comment on an animal picture - CLEARLY that animal is SCARED out of its MIND! YOU SHOULD GO TO JAIL AND YOU WILL NEVER SEE THE GATES OF HEAVEN! The animal in question-

My ministry in a nutshell

The surreal moment when you are at an anti ICE rally as a speaker and you check your phone and someone in your TikTok comments is yelling “I’m really disappointed in you for not talking about ICE. You should be ashamed of yourself!”

Every pro lifer owes Adriana Smith’s family $100 a month for the next 18 years. That’s y’all’s child support now. Add $50 for the therapy that kid is going to need when he finds out he was pulled from a decaying corpse kept breathing by the US Government.

I want a world where it's safe to be a socially awkward cringelord. None of us are free until the annoying dorks are free.

The 18- 28 gay demographic’s sense of passionate fun and lightly deviant sexuality is being held together entirely by Sabrina Carpenter and furries at this point. And God bless them for that, because if it wasn’t for them, yall would be sitting around listening to contemporary Christian music.

Look, I’m not going to pretend to know what God wants or how God works… What I will say is that the amount of billionaires who die in nature related incidents feels disproportionate.

Instead of having charity marathons that shut down half the city and make traffic a nightmare, what if we tried having a functional government instead?

I totally get Edgar Allan Poe. If I was minding my business and some fuckass bird showed up at my house just to be like “Ay man, your girlfriend died! Forever bitchless!” I’d crash out too.

Happy Father’s Day to my dad, who, yesterday, attended his first Pride Parade with his new boyfriend.

I know I talk up mutual aid a lot, but I also need you to know that I actively engage in mutual aid with the energy of a dad who didn’t want a cat but now he and the cat are inseparable.

I stg, the people who engage in right wing political violence, with only a few exceptions, fall into only one of two categories. 1) Teenage boy/young man whomst you feel like you can smell through the phone 2) The most divorced looking dude you have ever seen

Ya know, I do wonder if we were more ok with sort of edgelord type guys in the 90s and 2000s because those same guys were also often doing pranks and art that involved them smashing their dicks with hammers and shoving needles in their faces.

Sugar Ray did not write the 1999 classic “every morning” for the manosphere to gain this much traction in the American political landscape.

My wife told me she had a funny picture of my cat then sent me this.

My dad went to his first Pride parade today with his new boyfriend. 🥹

On the fridge: