How I feel after a full night's sleep and a multivitamin:

I'm like 90% sure that Special Ghoul on tumblr is THE Special Ghoul™ and he actually did tell Tobias what I said about dealing with the panty flingers lol.

Sometimes I want to start a YouTube channel where I just talk about things I love and why I love them and maybe that would make me stop being so angry every single day.

Come flip off the White House with me.

I've never been into vinyl. Does it sound better than CDs or is it just trendy because it's "retro?"

I'm not worried about my retirement plan because I'm pretty sure by that time we'll have reached a point in society where they just drag you out back and shoot you like a lame horse when you're too old to work.

I'm not nostalgic so much as just exhausted.

Coworker: Hey, do you know where we keep the bedsheets for the birds? Me, thinking he's talking about covering, like... a parrot: ???? Coworker: Yeah, we used to have something to cover the cockpit and keep it cool. Me: DO YOU MEAN CANOPY COVERS FOR THE PLANES?? Bruh, just use grown-up words. 😭

Really sick of getting only like 4 hours of sleep a night.

"When this is over, they'll deny ever supporting Trump." Literally, have you ever actually met a MAGA?

I have the novel Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson on audiobook and I've been letting it play in the background to help me sleep. I might have to try and listen to it while I'm actually awake, because the story I've been able to glean through osmosis and periodic wakefulness seems really stupid.

WHY IS SHE SO FUCKING CUTE?

You ever think about how that lumberjack ghost episode of Gravity Falls was an allegory for the exploitation of the working class by the billionaire class and the failed promise of trickle down economics?

Ok, so I bought one and yeah, the Bluetooth sucks. I was hoping I could connect it to my car because it would be funny to come full circle from the days of the cassette adapter cable. But no, it only works with headphones. And the BT transmitter is so shitty you can't even carry it in your pocket.

I swear consumer toy crazes were much more long-term in the 90s. You were either a collector or an investor. If you had Beanie Babies, you were either in the target demographic of people who actually liked them (mainly kids) or you believed in the future of a bean-filled economy you could retire on.

Ok, I'll bite. Why is the white Monster "goth?" Just the aesthetic or..?

I mean, I'm glad I could support my local record store, but I'm not having them order CDs for me again. Overpriced. 😩

Is "Cheugy" a real insult? I thought Pokemon made that up. 😩

Is Tamodachi Life like Animal Crossing without the animals?

I almost envy right-wing influencers. I wish I could go out and say random shit like, "Bananas make you gay because they're shaped like dicks. And fruits are just plant eggs so it's like a tree-gina and that is gay for girls." And dumbfucks would nod and stop eating bananas for no goddamn reason.

My music recommended sources: 38% Algorithm/YouTube rabbit hole 23% Genre research 15% Local shows 12% Pandora 7% Friends 5% Tobias Forge band shirts

People still buy cats? Don't they know there are free cats outside?? Like, you can probably pick up a couple of tabbies and a nice credenza at your neighborhood dumpster.

I deleted Instagram because fuck Meta, but had to remake it JUST to comment to an industrial band about good places to play in New Mexico because YouTube randomly decided that I'm not allowed to comment on their videos. I wasted like two hours doing this... 🤦

We used to only have orange globemallow wildflowers, but now they're coming in all shades of pink to white. Apparently they just Do That sometimes.

Bought what I thought was an Ozzy compilation album which turned out to be a tribute album which has to be the most random way to be exposed to new artists.

Looks like Ass Kisser Edition passports will only be available to in-person applicants at the Washington office. So only for the truest of sycophants. Thankfully for the rest of us.

Me: VERY OBVIOUSLY WINNING AT CHESS Computer: lol gg it's a draw! ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

THEY MAKE BLUETOOTH CASSETTE PLAYERS?

Looking for more shows to go to like a jonesing crackhead. 😵‍💫

Air museum/used bookstore/cat cafe

Sometimes you can find good music at thrift stores, but you'll be fighting for your life wading through the three C's (classical, country and Christmas).

Sucks when you realize the core of who you are is completely antithetical to what your parents wanted, but you can't make a cat be a dog no matter how long you drag it on a leash.

Look, I'm a simple person. All I want is an army of crows who can steal money for me and intimidate my enemies. Why is that such a hard fucking ask??

Walking in 30 MPH winds to get some ice cream. 👍

Plated ceilings and chandeliers is an odd choice for this Taco Bell, but ok.

Deicide is playing out here next month, but that's one I think you have to be a Real Metalhead™️ to go to. 😩

Guys, is it really so hard to believe that one of the most hated dudes in the world right now legitimately has people trying to kill him?

I could love Intranced just for their kick-ass shirts alone. 🤘

Fucking really?

On the National Mall, 20,000 teddy bears represent 20,000 Ukrainian children abducted by Russia — a reminder that we must stand with Ukraine, hold Putin accountable, help reunite families, and bring every child home. 🇺🇦 🇺🇸

I don't fear the edge and spooky aesthetics of metalheads, but I do fear their petty elitism and useless pedantry.

selecting the window seat and immediately closing the shade to protect my fellow passengers from witnessing the blasphemy of human flight

you just lost my respect my guy #antiai

If I ever want to play guitar, I'll have to pay for actual lessons because music is clearly not one of the things I have a "knack" for.

I miss when demo discs for video games were a thing.

My campaign platform: - Stimulus checks paid for by taxing rich people out the ass - Healthcare also paid for by taxing rich people out the ass - A promise of absolutely zero bipartisanship with Republicans - Will call Republicans stupid assholes on national TV - "Lock Them Up™️" Vote for me 2028✌️

Periodic reminder that "ex-MAGA" does not necessarily mean "ex-fascist." Most of them will happily vote for the next villain who doesn't lie so overtly or post such blatantly blasphemous AI slop. Backing away from the obviously senile nut job is not indicative of some moral awakening.

people terminally online because there are no third spaces 🤝 no third spaces because people are terminally online

A very special Happy Earth Day to everyone posting AI generated "happy earth day" graphics. Amazing job. You definitely get it.