Tell me you have teen/tween boys without telling me: “Mom can you play Trap Queen?”

My bestie is not a lawyer and I told him SCOTUS is hearing arguments on birthright citizenship and he is outraged lol.

I think Tang going to SCOTUS was supposed to be an intimidation move, but it had the opposite effect of making the justices bristle and try to at least put on the appearance of judicial independence.

I legitimately cackled

The paperwork for international travel with 3 kids is insanity.

I aspire to be like this old Korean man eating an entire family size sashimi platter by himself in the HMart food court. Unbothered. Thriving.

Omg I’m such an asshole. Happy birthday @wstafrican.bsky.social my soul sister bae!!

I always forget my stylist does the finest foils on my hair. It’s stunning at the end but tedious.

Audiobooks are so expensive!

My brother hadn’t seen the kids in almost 2 months and we had dinner tonight and he did a double take when he saw Bigs bc he’s like as tall as him now (if not taller). 😂

I am once again so full of KBBQ

Omg

Tiny apparently open-palm slapped a kid at school during a heated game of Uno so… Uno reverse, bitch, I guess….

311 and Dirty Heads are going on tour??? The 90s are so back LMAOOOOO

The Guncles periodically send me new drinks to try as as part of my “ADHD girly pop needs 3 drinks at all times” regime and I’m cackling at this case of sugar free mocktails with some kind of mushroom health blend added in. I’m enjoying a strawberry guava situation with lion’s mane?

Feeding my kids tonight entailed: 6 pieces of fried chicken 2 sushi rolls 2 egg rolls A family size bowl of cut fruit Carrots and cucumber Half a jug of Green Machine smoothie Hawaiian rolls Half an 8” layer cake.

Imagine yelling at your lawyer on the phone and whole time they looking like this at the playground with their kid. 🤷🏻‍♀️

When you get a male shopper (hard sigh) but you’re trying to be encouraging

I have a parent teacher conference by Zoom and got so sucked into work that I didn't have time to shower or do anything so now I'm wearing a beanie on this call.

I am so overstimulated today I could rip my skin off

I’m eating cereal for dinner bc wtf was this day

Sigh. Just so that everyone is clear, Iran is ENORMOUS. It’s bigger than Texas and California combined. With a ton of mountains. It’s also just as remote in terms of geographic location as Afghanistan (they share a border).

There are so many leaf blowers going right now.

Ugh, got all excited to eat this chicken salad with Club crackers and realizes these animals ate them all, so now i have to eat it with Ritz crackers.

Apparently my nonexistent filter has made it to my redline comments and it’s making one of my very proper bosses LOL.

I can confidently say after dealing with autonomous vehicles all day for work: Butlerian Jihad.

Get you best friends who will simultaneously vouch you have bail money AND also text you live from their hunt for mini Trader Joe’s totes and asking you what color you want (lavender).

When is @darthbluesky.bsky.social coming back? It’s hit the 90s on the West Coast and booty cheeks are out.

Sus.

Why is it so foggy

What I love about artists like Bad Bunny and BTS blowing up is that they’re bringing classical/traditional music and instruments from their native culture and it’s so cool to see it blended with modern music.

Kids learning to read is so weird. I was a phonetic reader so I couldn’t fathom trying to learn to read by sight, but I think Tiny is more of a sight reader???

나를 버리고 가시는 님은 십리도 못가서 발병난다. Preach.

The new BTS album is ruhl grown

Kobe dragged a sack of dog food from the pantry to his donut bed, tore it open, and then gorged himself for how knows long. He looks like a potbelly pig.

My eldest slammed shut his laptop last night and said “THANK GOD!” And I was like what happened? Bigs: “Afroman won his case.” 😂😂😂

The soul yearns for Butlerian Jihad.

Omg the BTS comeback concert in Seoul has a HANBOK DRESS CODE

This would also pay for SNAP for the next *2 YEARS* or the school lunch program for *a decade*

If the war so far is costing about $2 billion a day this means they’re thinking this is gonna go on WELL into the summer.

Not the grocery store clerk recognizing me 😂

Can we not.

Zombie Jason Momoa is back in Dunnnnneee

Might just be here for the donuts, IDK

Bringing me a quesadilla is sexy AF.

State Capitol visit to Sacramento and Old Town Sacramento (made to look like the Gold Rush era). Grad Night at Disneyland.

I got redlines back today in 3 different colors in one document, but they were all pastel colors and I wanted to stab my eyes out.

That’ll do, pig.

I got SO carsick in the Lyft this morning from the airport and the nausea has not gone away all day and I want to die. Or at least travel to a country where I can buy Zofran OTC.

If I am wearing this striped shirt, I am 💯 at the office. It’s one of the 3 outfits shoved into my desk drawer. 😆