How you turn your donut bed into a couch, friend?

To be clear - this implies that if you're what they deem a "smug" woman, you deserve to be shot in the face three times

I’m just using the bathroom, Panda, jeez.

To be clear, we found out about this when we pulled up to the gravesite with like a hundred people in tow, so we couldn’t do anything about it.

My dad died almost a year ago and my parents, amazingly, had purchased their own funeral plots some years ago. The hilarious part of this, however, is my mom purchased 2 plots next to her best friend and BF's husband. 4 plots in a line.

Koreans do. not. play.

Look at how giant Tiny’s head is compared to Smalls. He’s like a Funko Pop.

The kids’ school district sent a parent survey and there was a series of questions about my kids’ AI usage, how I was helping them learn how to use it, etc and I gave them a piece of my mind.

*rustling in the pantry* Me: Who’s in the pantry? Tiny: No one!

There have been so many helicopters in the air today 🧐

Had a second night of very bewildering dreams.

Panda: I want to eat everything. I am constantly starving. Also Panda: I need my food in smol bite size pieces. Also, I have a very sensitive stomach.

A dry LA River basin.

One big takeaway from last year is that therapy, shadow work, and processing trauma is for YOU. It is not your job to drag others along with you, as much as you’d like everyone to heal. Let them do their own work.

Mentally, I am a shivering chihuahua.

Just know if I put The Hours soundtrack on, its fucking serious business.

Orange County steez is an old lady wearing a $400 knee length North Face puffer vest over a muumuu and sandals while walking her chihuahua in 61F weather. Goals, honestly.

Today I got my kids up for school, pounded a protein shake and took my meds, ran get a glaucoma screening before a long day at work, and it’s just feeling very much like what the hell man.

If this happened in South Korea, the public would have flipped over the entire government and had politicians on their knees apologizing on live TV.

Is the officer even allowed to accept the GFM money?

The sad/ironic thing is that the Fed chair said the most basic milquetoast thing like “I’m doing my job and following the law, thank you.”

I had the most bizarre dream I’ve had in a very long time and I am sitting here like “psyche are you okay bro??”

“The existence of an abusive parent in the home means there was also a dismissive parent. Otherwise, the other parent would have gotten you out and left.” I -

Have recovered potatoes

Having immigrant parents is wild bc wth is this madam?

Bigs and I are virtually the same height now and he told me “you’re short” so that’s where we are in parenting boys (I am absolutely not short).

LeBron, Luka, and Giannis, what a night!

Save me from dumb bitches please

I WANNA BE SEDATED

Friday means an onion ring tower and a beer

Tiny has always had a gigantic noggin (like I call him “pumpkin head”) and he’s CONSTANTLY banging it on something. Like, truly I’ve never had a child smash his head into something so often.

Did it.

Ice cream is tasting goooood AF tonight.

Don’t forget to take the trash out, pig.

I caught up with a long time colleague on Tuesday that I hadn’t see in like a year and after I filled her in on the last year in a manner *eye* thought was pretty chill and lighthearted, she started weeping and like…LMAO sorry my life is a dumpster fire.

Korea 2026 is booked bitches.

This randomly came up in our work call, but remember the time I put Pando in the tortilla blanket?

Zoom got cancelled for technical difficulties hell yeah brother

I spent a lot of years holding back from the urge to punch people in the throat and I’m not sure that serves me anymore.

He’s also a Yale Law grad. He knows better.

Yes, BIPOC, (but especially the B and I in that BIPOC) have been killed, characterized, and treated this way by the state for generations. How do you think systemic racism works?

You know what slaps sometimes is just like cronchy pretzels.

I feel like someone could campaign pretty well on “yeah, no, we didn’t sign up for allodat.”

I was watching a history documentary examining the lives of medieval children in Britain and the historian was like “as a historian I spend a lot of my time looking at things left behind by white men - because those were the only things considered valuable enough to preserved.”