I want to hug a mini donkey

I’m SO sore. I need a foot and leg massage.

I think I’m gonna make those smash burger taco things for dinner. I have some ground beef I have to use up.

I made a spicy vanilla cream espresso martini and she’s delicious

I love a good counter cake, gurl

An orange Maine coon is crazy business

I think I want an espresso martini tonight

Breakfast banh mi 🤌

The corgs are at Camp Grandma this week so I’m getting boomer pictures.

Gieurlz lunch

Girl’s lunch day best day

Lol, Bigs is sore from day 2 of basketball camp and I handed him some Advil at dinner like “you’re a man now.”

Teens are hilarious. Bigs, eating raw snowpeas: “Mmmm, brooo, why are these peas so FIRE??”

Opposing universal school meals is a clear instance of disregarding a woman’s mental load.

There’s a well regarded BBQ joint here that’s Asian fusion and they make a pandan banana pudding so guess what I did

Given the number of emails and coupons and deals Starbucks is pimping, it looks like the recession is hitting them hard.

Apple Music has a “All Time Replay” playlist for me and LMAO seal that court record pls.

Christ I’m in Huntington Beach

A fun summery twist to your Manhattan is to replace a portion of your vermouth with grape juice.

At least every July, after I’ve spent a month wanting to die at work, there’s always a tangible result for a state whose policies make me not want to actively jump off a bridge.

The youths are discovering Jansport backpacks. Finally.

Some days my kids have 90s mom baked chicken dinner with boxed Mac and cheese and some times they get galbi and Dungeness crab and panko shrimp. 😂

I know my mom is getting old bc her food tastes different.

You know you did good when the checker at the store was like how in the hell did you do that?

Everything hurts.

I just saw something that said “Aries are like pit bulls” and that is the most accurate descriptor I’ve ever heard lmao

We went full 90s mom for dinner tonight.

The one thjng I never expected to need so much of as a parent is industrial carpet tape.

I make a the nice pizza pie

Can someone tell Bsky admin we need picture/GIF capabilities in DMs/group chats??

Help my children ate a dozen eggs for breakfast. Plus bacon, sausage, and pancakes.

Can confirm that “dupe” Zevo cartridges DO NOT work

Good evening it is 1am and I am awake thinking about how much I want some sardines.

Listen, DC was unbearable in the 80s with that dank ass humidity. 105??? With humidity? Folks are gonna die.

Boys and I made a doctored box cake tonight and baby, that shit slapped

Can you tell how much I love my friends real bad? I’m so freaking PROUD of them and proud to be their fran.

One things my kids will never know is how COVERED they are bc their mama’s circle don’t play about them.’n

Happy Fourth of July only to my Breville

Listen, if you and your bestie don’t leave each other real bad like this, throw the whole thing out and start over.

Periodic reminder that the best dressing for pasta salad is Kraft Roasted Red Pepper Italian dressing. It’s a bit harder to find, but when I do, I stock up just for pasta salad szn.

One of the funniest things to me is that one of the guncles is a vegetarian and he doesn’t like vegetables.

One thing you not gonna do is come sideways at my children.

I took the corgs to Camp Grandma tonight after three weeks with my ex and the first thing my mom said is “PANDA WHY DID YOU GET SO FAT!”

I need to make an important PSA: If you make 7-layer dip this weekend, I NEED you to blend/mix up your refried beans with something to make it a looser consistency before adding to your pan. For instance, salsa or jalapeño brine.

Why did I go on this rant? Bc there’s a 19yo stay at home girlfriend on TikTok who is like we are never breaking up, my boyfriend is rich running his landscaping business, so like why would I go to college or get a job?