a short poem about horse-sized despair

I really want to vote National this election but they just don't have the Energy

Top work www.greaterauckland.org.nz/2026/05/25/t...

Space aliens just stuffed Luxon, Willis and Seymour and Simeon. into their spaceship and took off from Parliament Feels like we just won the Lotto

Lawry is appealing the IPCA decision. “I was assaulted that night. It was an eye-opener that’s still very raw. I didn’t like to think that we had racism here in Whangārei but that to me it’s still very prominent.”🔗 Read the full details: ebx.sh/kd4iaB

I am SO OVER lefties making out like the Bish is "one of the good guys" when he is quite happy to sell our vulnerable communities down the river. The Bish values his career, his paycheck, and his wealthy mates over ordinary NZers. Folk need to stop pretending that Tories care about us #nzpol

Markwayne will surely have the same praise for President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Camacho

As a former Labour govt staffer I wish to disclose that any mockery I spray at Prime Minister comes from: 1% old loyalties 1% ideology 1% enjoying a joke 97% astonishment anyone could be this shit at it

new zealander everlee wihongi was due to meet with her lawyer yesterday. then ICE moved her to their most notorious tent facility in texas: 3000 people, highest death rate, most sexual assaults. and today, she disappeared off the system. please RT: www.webworm.co/everleehasdi...

We have changed from a country where most everyone got served a reasonable helping to one where now the favoured get extra large plates groaning with more than anyone could eat and the majority get slops on smaller cardboard ones

As an interesting experiment, scroll this 'personally autographed' fan photo up so you can no longer see the eyes, just the teeth. Try to find the smile or the humanity, that is one cold fish, brother.

What The Luxon Years Produced, In One Picture

NZ Herald once again publishes lies by lying liar Richard Prebble, who blames Labour & the Greens for *sigh* banning offshore oil and gas exploration and *sigh* praises Luxon for restarting it. He lies about what the left's position is and lies about the solution. I hope he does this for free.

So all these journalists and commentators are gonna to a mea culpa and admit their 'expert analysis' was wrong, right? Right?

Bit of a Giuliani prediction

At some point I expect my eyeballs to sustain lasting harm from the rolling

Digital work 2026 in black blue and red "Most Dire And Comically Woeful PM In More Than A Hundred Years"

Would be great to see this in NZ numbers if someone feels inclined :)

Because it's the law, I just leave your wallet where it is in your pocket and I don't grandly proclaim my forbearance And this is why, SUV driver who made a grand demonstrative wave of your hand bestowing me permission to proceed across the crossing you were approaching at speed, I LOLed

Many business types are notorious for only being interested in talking to the media when it suits them. Once again, the onetime mediocre CEO is being a mediocre CEO and not a PM

Big win, boss! Big win! We think you should lead with it in the election: "Hi New Zealand, I'm the leader who managed to survive a vote of confidence the other day"

Paul Goldsmith, asked whether he accepts that te Tiriti is Aotearoa's founding document, says he accepts that it was the document that was signed at its founding. A careful pseudo-acceptance that is actually a refusal #racist

No-hoper saved by circle of doom

I have the support of my caucus as leader and we have agreed to build four more motorways and a convention centre #businessasusualgoingnowhere

White smoke coming out of Bishop's ears would be formal indication they've stuck with the no-hoper

Arriving shortly

Luxon is the very model of the manager who is flat out the whole time and highly paid to achieve absolutely sweet fuckall

PM laser focused on next move

If Old Mate Grabaseat had been nicer to the pilots one of them might be able to give him some guidance about nosedives

Going back to the counter to ask for another Big Mac. This one’s completely embattled

Pick your PM 🔽 Old Mate Grabaseat 🔽 Nicola of Marsden 🔽 Bishop 🔽 Simeon Praise-The-Lord-and-Let's-Do-Some Caning Brown ⚡Someone else, please God, someone else

Excited to learn if we are about get Prime Minister Bishop Also excited to learn if the lolly jar is going to be swapping from green jellybeans to yellow ones

Strangest thing just happened. Was lacing up my Allbirds when the right one asked me if I’d like a weather update

"I wish to see action on the climate crisis" "Not that" "Not that" "Not that" "Not that" "Not that" "Not that" "Not that" "Not that"

Worse yet, the only history of this time to survive will be an AI story about Pope Artemis II naked wrestling King Donald on Epstein Island

Is he still napping? Or has he moved on to "And Don't Get Me Started About That Loser Jesus"

Luxon uses the imagery of a sunset technology to enthuse about our exciting future. For a subsidised Tesla owner he's tragically backward-looking.

Something is starting to shift. Millions of people are waking up to what the fossil fuel lobby has spent decades trying to hide: clean energy is cheaper, safer and doesn't need a single bomb dropped to keep the lights on.

NZ in good position, says PM

Saying “I am not a victim” is the very most un-MAGA thing you can say

Mr Luxon, what planes does your airline fly? *awkward silence* Do you have Boeings perhaps? *excitedly* Oh yeah yeah! We’ve got the Boeing 007! And, and, the Rolls Royce

The PM's office has issued a boil water notice for watching the Prime Minister talking. "If you find it too painful to watch him being a plodding dumbass, just pop your hands in the kettle for a moment to take your mind off things"

The biggest story in the world right now is that the president of the United States is a demented old man who takes pleasure in torturing and killing people and is committing crimes with impunity. And yet most legacy media outlets are too cowardly to tell it like it is.

Nation now not only short of petrol but also the letter S after every bastard needlessly plunks it at end of Daylight Saving

All around the neighborhood people want me to take their free feijoas that I cannot stomach and now here comes Amanda Luxon saying “I want you to swallow this he’s really great if you try him”

That reshuffle in full: Bishop: I'm better than any of these other dropkicks Luxon: Nobody calls me a dropkick Goldsmith: Thank you sir please may I have another Penk: FIGJAM