Heard the guy who won the marathon posted his Strava time, and not his chip time which was 2h 01m

If that's offside, how does it still get given as a corner?

Our goalkeeper gets injured and our defence just stops while the opposition score? Most 'this season' goal ever

I would like my go at managing Chelsea please, where do I sign

Better start the bus, you can't park there anymore Mikel

Freddie Woodman in 2066

Tarkowski was probably busy asking for somebody to be booked instead of trying to head it away

Real Madrid are relentless pricks, it doesn't matter who the personnel are at any given time, it's baked in

Main thing here is that PSG's shirt looks like a snide concept kit from a Turkish resort

Into these

I think if Isak might only make 45-60 (or god forbid he breaks down somehow) then Salah to come on is a decent shout. Bringing Isak on only for him to tire quickly or feel a twinge is a substitution wasted.

"The Butcher"... actually a barber

If you're asking about my top 3 straits, Hormuz is definitely up there

Tyson Fury in elite 'dad on the beach' condition

Something about going down in this stadium and showing even less fight than Spurs, or something... #theboxing

Isak already looking more frustrated with Gakpo than all of us put together

Still can't help but feel we hang on for a point here

These reds are a fucking nightmare They make a show of themselves, make us all cross, they're a pain in the fucking arse but then they can do this and I love them all over again

Martin Keown just asked Andoni Iraola if he was surprised Arteta couldn't find an answer to his tactics, with them both being from San Sebastian

Gyokores deciding to be a footballer really was the bricklaying community's loss

For a split second, whenever I see or hear his name, my brain confuses Rory McIlroy and Rory McGrath

Slight leftfield thought, but they staggered the news of the contract renewals last season, for obvious reasons of managing the media content etc Given everything we're seeing, and the fact Virgil signed 2 yrs (like Mo), does anyone think he might have an announcement before the season ends?

If you're pissed that the manager who's on his way out isn't putting this season's Mo Salah on to try and rescue something for him, you need to give your head a wobble.

I know we're all discussing Slot's tactics and how Salah has gone off a cliff, but is that all just a distraction from the sheer volume of Kerkez's hair at this stage of the season

Oh fuck off 'he knocks him' It's a great tackle

Also a bastard to spell

Kvaratskhelia just feels like a really difficult little shit to have playing against you on the right side

Announce Isak (into the football match)

Still only 1-0 up though aren't they? The sort of half where, if it was us in previous seasons, we think we're shit and will get humped 4-1 cos we haven't taken our chances, etc etc

Given their names, the positions they both play, and the reputation of the older party, there's huge potential for Kyle Walker-Peters to be Kyle Walker's son

He's definitely been coached to not use this anymore, first match I've not been massively irritated by it

We are so fucking limp aren't we?

"De Zerbis everything he gets" Amirite?

Just remembering how good Bowie was at losing his marker.

Can’t even have Spurs appoint Jermain Defoe as their interim manager. Because of Woking.

Fucks sake...

Shortest reign for a Tudor since Lady Jane Grey

Not many come close.

Hasn't been the same since ...

Arteta's tactics have brought this on his team

Can't wait for our outstanding politicians and right wing media to manufacture some bullshit online culture war bollocks about SNL

I wonder if the fact he keeps getting injured has anything to do with him always coming down stairs in just his socks and looking like he's about to miss his next step

Gonna be one of those matches where the referee is an absolute dickhead and Galatasaray absolutely play on it all night

STICK IT ON A FIVE POUND NOTE

I wish Stevie would shut the fuck up tbh We've got plenty to worry about without him adding to it

Respect the balls 😂

I'm very much enjoying 'Rooster', but it is SO noticeable that none of the drinks cups the characters hold have anything in them, to the point it's mildly distracting

Why don't we report that this is plainly absolute fucking bollocks on stilts though? Why does every Winterval and "baa baa rainbow sheep" story have to be treated as if the freaks have a point of view worth considering?