All because an international footballer didn't want to shoot with his weaker foot, so took a touch he couldn't afford to

Richard Keys on Jamie Redknapp’s dating etiquette

Imagine how good Kane would be at scoring goals if he wasn't wearing Sketchers as well

Trent is a generational talent and a crisis of imagination will see him overlooked at international level I reckon I'd get a call up before him under Tuchel

Top three Verdes for me right now 1. Lasagna 2. Cape 3. Salsa

An inauspicious start to my career as the South Africa coach in charge of playing out from the back and not getting sent off

Mad seeing Andy Burnham stepping on every rake he can find, demolishing his political capital by being the thing everyone was still slightly worried he really is

I encountered this newly erected fence and scary warning sign on my run the other day I enjoyed the detail about the nationality of the dogs, like they'll take your leg off and there's also a potential language barrier to deal with

England playing on a pitch that appears to be load of bathmats all sewn together

In the last few days I've seen a video of Andros Townsend telling me not to wear sunglasses, and Jermaine Jenas giving advice on "transitioning in your career" (from being a sex pest, presumably) Reckon Aaron Lennon extolling the virtues of drinking his own piss would be the hat-trick

Eat your heart out, Romano Like and subscribe for more guys

Iraola just reminds me of Alfred Molina as Doc Oc in Spider-Man 2.

Just tried to check in at the wrong Premier Inn

Mo Salah signing off in typical style so far, getting absolutely throttled by a defender but the ref not giving a foul

Hearing Salah is on the bench

Slot will go Iraola will replace him

Not seen one photo of Dominik Szoboszlai in the new kit launch for next season...

The irony of Villa fans mocking our keeper on the ball when every time I watch Martinez he basically throws one in his own net.

Streeting stepping down to spend more quality time with his £400k of private healthcare business donations

I see the country is intent on self-harming once again At least people are saying this new virus won't be a problem though

Heard the guy who won the marathon posted his Strava time, and not his chip time which was 2h 01m

If that's offside, how does it still get given as a corner?

Our goalkeeper gets injured and our defence just stops while the opposition score? Most 'this season' goal ever

I would like my go at managing Chelsea please, where do I sign

Better start the bus, you can't park there anymore Mikel

Freddie Woodman in 2066

Tarkowski was probably busy asking for somebody to be booked instead of trying to head it away

Real Madrid are relentless pricks, it doesn't matter who the personnel are at any given time, it's baked in

Main thing here is that PSG's shirt looks like a snide concept kit from a Turkish resort

Into these

I think if Isak might only make 45-60 (or god forbid he breaks down somehow) then Salah to come on is a decent shout. Bringing Isak on only for him to tire quickly or feel a twinge is a substitution wasted.

"The Butcher"... actually a barber

If you're asking about my top 3 straits, Hormuz is definitely up there

Tyson Fury in elite 'dad on the beach' condition

Something about going down in this stadium and showing even less fight than Spurs, or something... #theboxing

Isak already looking more frustrated with Gakpo than all of us put together

Still can't help but feel we hang on for a point here

These reds are a fucking nightmare They make a show of themselves, make us all cross, they're a pain in the fucking arse but then they can do this and I love them all over again

Martin Keown just asked Andoni Iraola if he was surprised Arteta couldn't find an answer to his tactics, with them both being from San Sebastian

Gyokores deciding to be a footballer really was the bricklaying community's loss

For a split second, whenever I see or hear his name, my brain confuses Rory McIlroy and Rory McGrath

Slight leftfield thought, but they staggered the news of the contract renewals last season, for obvious reasons of managing the media content etc Given everything we're seeing, and the fact Virgil signed 2 yrs (like Mo), does anyone think he might have an announcement before the season ends?

If you're pissed that the manager who's on his way out isn't putting this season's Mo Salah on to try and rescue something for him, you need to give your head a wobble.

I know we're all discussing Slot's tactics and how Salah has gone off a cliff, but is that all just a distraction from the sheer volume of Kerkez's hair at this stage of the season

Oh fuck off 'he knocks him' It's a great tackle

Also a bastard to spell

Kvaratskhelia just feels like a really difficult little shit to have playing against you on the right side

Announce Isak (into the football match)

Still only 1-0 up though aren't they? The sort of half where, if it was us in previous seasons, we think we're shit and will get humped 4-1 cos we haven't taken our chances, etc etc