checkin out the vitamins in the family dollar clearance aisle

takin caffeine pills and melatonin at the same time and letting god decide my fate

sammy hagar called 'the red rocker' 'cause he a communist

I wish I could be on the View… gettin to chat with my girls and get paid for it… “that’s life!”

carrying my subway footlong home the way i imagine french people carry around their baguettes

i don’t care if im shittin or fartin as long as i got a brand new carton of marlboros waitin for me there

that show where old country music guys sit around in a tv studio in rocking chairs playing their hits but it’s 90s indie rock dudes

finally found a record id been lookin for in the wild for ages

*james Taylor voice* I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen ash I’ve seen long movies I thought would never end I’ve seen scenes where Jake Sully could really use a friend But I always thought I’d see avatar 3 again

Monsieur, vous avez gagné le titre de meilleur internaute du jour !

M. Quentin Tarantino a été très méchant avec M. Paul Dano. Pas très gentil ! Il a dit qu’il était la partie la plus faible de There Will Be Blood. Je l’ai appelé le pire acteur de SAG. Nous aimons Quentin, mais nous ne l’aimerons jamais autant qu’il aime les pieds.

i gotta confess something about my identity.. I am the truth author of the Shakespeare plays, I did my work and took a Time Machine to 2020s West Virginia because the weed is better and watching Tempest on a streaming services beats standing room only live theater

the biggest cowards in music.... male artists who rewrite 'santa baby' to make it sound like they don't wanna bone santa. just sing the standard!

stool store called the Ottoman Empire

havin the runs while listening to a singer-songwriter from the 70s call it livin in jackson browne towne

Cléo from 6-7

inventing the first restaurant where veterans have to pay more instead of getting a discount

Certains m'appellent le cow-boy de l'espace, ouais. D'autres m'appellent le gangster de l'amour.

Aller à une convention de bandes dessinées plus tard. J'espère rencontrer la souris de "Flowers for Algernon".

"i am so afraid of dying" damn jimmy webb me too

lie to Amazon about your package not being delivered, get your money back

Black Phone 2 and Blue Moon in theaters at the same time… cinema fans must be saying Ethan Hawke Tuah go see that thang !!!

Ce foutu chat orange est toujours comme "Je n'aime pas les lundis".

Jeff Tweedy a été très méchant avec M. Billy Bragg ! Il voulait interpréter les vieilles chansons communistes de Woody Guthrie d'une certaine manière, mais M. Bragg a dit : « Je ne m'y plierai pas ! » Alors, qu'a-t-il fait ? Il les a enregistrées sans lui sur un disque en duo.

Je déteste quand je vais dans un restaurant avec du hibachi seul et qu'ils me demandent “hibachi ou chinois ?” Ai-je l'air assez désespéré pour avoir du hibachi seul ?

curtis will never be mayor of new york after forcing his niece jojo on pop culture

Cette femme maléfique Lucy est très méchante avec Charlie Brown. Le vieux Chuck semble être un bon ami et propose de l'aider quand il le peut, mais la cruelle Lucy retire le football chaque fois qu'elle en a l'occasion.

Moe est très méchant avec Larry et Curly, très méchant, très cruel. Ils essaient de faire leur travail juste pour se faire frapper à la tête par Moe méchant. Ensuite, ils ont dû remplacer Curly par Curly Joe, Moe était méchant avec lui aussi, le frappant, le frappant.

the woke stooges

moe is very mean to larry and curly, very mean, very cruel. they try to do their work just to get bonked in the head by mean moe. then they had to replace curly with curly joe, moe was mean to him too, hitting him, punching him, and don’t even get me started on how he treated poor shemp

buccees and savannah bananas.... loser things for loser people

my foolproof strategy if I were a pro baseball player: lean into every pitch so I get hit and get a free base

baseball player does a slide early in the game, he gotta be a dirty boy with dirt all down his baseball clothes until the end, big sloppy dirt baseball boy

they woked the pizza www.cnn.com/2025/10/08/f...

they’re calling it ‘wokey and the bandit” and in this one… the bandit is transmasc

dentists in the commercials too pretty to be trusted in regards to toothpaste recommendations

guy who meal preps by buying doomsday prepper 3 month food kids and eating them like hello fresh meals

i love rock n roll / so put your card information into the touchtunes app baby

@themountaingoats.bsky.social holy fuck dude that heretic pride

walkin around the store to see what those freaks have come up with this time

its going to the @themountaingoats.bsky.social show eve

the ghosts are out playing in the street tonight

i thought huntington's disease was where you stay in the city you went to college in thinking it'd just be one or two more years and then life starts passing you by and next thing you know its been seven years?

That's not Mickey Mouse, that's just tit dirt

thomas pynchon launching youtube channel to publish "metal gear solid 2: sons of liberty" playthrough

the climax of more songs should be a ghost soldier pulling a guy from a burning car www.youtube.com/watch?v=_e3s...

@themountaingoats.bsky.social the messy couple are back together!!

vaudeville rules bc people’s whole thing could be “I’m a fat guy playing a xylophone” or “I sneeze funny” and they’d be STARS

its kinda neat that at any given time there's like 5 different dudes travelin the country pretending to be mark twain