You know you are living in the digital age when you have to power cycle your smart bulb because it isn’t responding to Homekit commands. Think about that. I had to reboot a LIGHT BULB.

Evangelical Christians need to be kept as far away from the halls of power as possible. Like, not even arms length. I am talking blue whale penis length.

Thank you, Goddess!!! 🥰

There is no god and no afterlife. Ghosts, vampires, astrology and energy crystals are figments of your imagination. You are a sentient, bacterium-powered electric meat bag hurtling through space. So the question remains…are you going to eat that last doughnut? Cuz if you’re not I’m gonna.

You are not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. So if someone lets you know, by word or by deed, that you are not to their taste, don’t let it get you down. You still have value, and you are going to be OK. So stand up straight, and put the kettle on.

Saying you know what it’s like to have kids because you own a dog or a cat is like saying you know what it is like having cancer because you stubbed your toe.

Can we all just agree that the only vocation that qualifies as reverse thin white girl privilege is being a DJ?

As a latex fetishist, there is no word more terrifying in all the Universe than "knitwear." Run. Away.

Get over yourself.

🔥🔥🔥

My wife (49) gave our 13-year old son a piggyback ride and I said to him, “Son, the only reason your mother won’t be able to give you a piggyback ride when you are fully grown is because she has turned into a weak-ass little bitch.” She almost peed herself laughing. I married the right woman 😂🔥

If you have ever commented on a latex fetish model's post and told her she should upload more photos without a hood, I would like you to bend over and literally fuck your own face.

Let’s make 2026 the year you submit to @adriennekay.bsky.social and I. Together. Think you ca handle it? Latex: @deadlyfetish.com @ladylucielatex.bsky.social Doms: @wholesmdeviant.bsky.social @adriennekay.bsky.social Photography: @sloooouch.bsky.social

Happy New Year. Shitty New Year. Boring New Year. Who gives a fuck. Just make it through the goddamned year. OK? 😘

If I send you a post from social media, or a meme, or a video on YouTube, I want to make this absolutely crystal clear – I fully expect you to watch that shit. I am not fucking around. This is critical to the continuation and betterment of our relationship. There will be a quiz later.

If you are reading this on the toilet, I sincerely hope everything comes out OK.

Realizing you are niche in a niche that is already pretty niche.

Kicking myself for not buying stock in companies that make mini-treadmills.

Well done on the latex cat ears mask. You are one more step away from becoming a true weirdo.

The skills you use as an “AI artist” are the same skills a “chef” uses when they order from a drive-through.

I need latex like I need water. No matter how much water I drink, I will always need to drink more water. And without water I will die.

You'e not a real latex fetishist. You just like the attention.

A special shout-out to the genuine female latex fetishists. The real deal. Women for whom latex is not a way to enhance sex, but is the pathway to sex itself. The question of whether total latex enclosure is desired is not even a question. It begins from there. Naked? Still fantasizing about it.

Now that Halloween is over, can we get back to normal where we dress up on a random Tuesday because it's fucking sexy? We don't need no stinkin' festival.

I will never make a post about how sorry I am for not posting for a while "due to [whatever]." Mainly because nobody gives a fuck. Just live your life. You aren't providing updates on a hurricane.

And because I'm me and gas masks and rebreathing bags are just the fucking best, a version of the previous post with them.

A genuine fetishist needs whatever their fetish happens to be. They don't need variety. They will never get bored of it. It is always as amazing as the last time. It is not a phase. There is no need to "spice things up." The spice is perfect and it is all they need. Don't overthink it.

What in the fuck are we even doing??? Follow me for more life advice.

Dear well-meaning, ESL pervs: It is a shoot - a photoSHOOT - and not a “shooting.” A shooting involves guns, ie: a “mass-shooting.” You, on the other hand, have just posted photos from your latest “shoot.” Glad we had this talk. I sincerely hope you weren’t actually involved in a shooting.

There is nothing more dangerous than a stupid person, because they think they are smart. A smart person knows that they themselves are stupid. This is what makes them smart.

The smell of latex is called pervume. As you were.

Every time you like a photo of a female rubberist in total latex enclosure an angel gets its wings. A rubber angel. With rubber wings. Too heavy to fly but who cares. Don't think about it too much.

"Conservatism consists of exactly one proposition...There must be in-groups whom the law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom the law binds but does not protect." ~ Frank Wilhoit

If you use ChatGPT or any other LLM for "ideas" or creative pursuits, remember that anything you generate will be, by its very nature, unoriginal and derivative. The human brain will always be the only computer that can come up with new ideas.

Those poor jugglers. Everyone is always going for them.

If you are wondering whether you look stupid doing a stupid dance with a stupid face on the internet, then... Yes. You look stupid.

Peel the protective film off of your LED screen. Things go to shit. It's normal. It's going to be OK.

At Vancouver Fetish Weekend With @freerangemeat.bsky.social Black latex by @deadlyfetish.com translucent latex by @fetishdynasty.com

Let me just sit on your face for a while 🖤

Few things irritate me more than influencers putting on latex for the first time because they were told it increases engagement, who then spend an hour struggling into a "latex-leather-PVC" catsuit with no fucking lube, complaining how it "smells weird" and it's all sweaty. Fuck all the way off.

You aren't wearing hoods enough.

No hood is no good.

It always throws me off when I order a hamburger in America. They ask how I want it cooked. You’re actually asking me how I want this mass-produced, E. coli-infested, gastronomical time bomb prepared? Like, cook the absolute living shit out of that thing, bro. Take off and nuke it from orbit.

Go hood or go home.

Wisdom teaches us that parking close to the exit is less important than parking close to a cart return. Follow me for more life advice.

Feelings are not operating instructions.

Happy Sunday 🙏

Her: “FUCK ME RIGHT NOW” Autistic brain: “Is she flirting with me?”

Home repairs are completed 17.3% faster while cursing.

Practice makes pervert.