turkey trying to make everyone start saying türkiye…. its not happening diva….. the anglosphere is not about to start fucking with a voiceless palatal plosive

gm

im at the planet fitness in the thinnest white wife beater, nipples protruding disrespectfully

2016 was about feathers and gladiator sandals

fame is a delicate flower actually. think about that faddison rae.

peekin

who up eating eeples and baneenees

gazpacho more like shit from a buttcho

ok im thinking this year and like for saturn return and going forward i try to really tackle porn usage (and overstimulation in general) cause low key i cannot get or stay hard when im with somebody even if theyre extremely hot and its sooo annoying

💬 larubia_mala | Sippin on that nut..

fucking my hot muscle bear ex on thursday

*sneezes*

is there like a dark botox. i want my face to be more expressive. i want to pioneer new facial expressions.

most unrealistic part of heated rivalry was when shane threw his underwear at ilya and ilya didnt even sniff them.

been really into making a cheeky little puttanesca lately. tonight it was gnocchi. exquisite.

finally starting the stormlight archives, pray for me girls

im reading a graphic novel

finished heated rivalry yeah ineedamanitis flare up has commenced

got a damascus steel chefs knife and some brass salt and pepper mills im shakingg

apartment hallway smells of fried chicken and black licorice….

had to explain the concept of androgyny to a libertarian man the other day it was like teaching a dog how to do math

i wouldve sucked jim hensons balls clean off his body back in the day

that vitamin d3/k2 combo really is so powerful, the suns absence has no effect on me anymore.

when people pronounce grocery like grossery its like oh you think youre better than me

working at a library has taught me that this is freida mcfaddens world and we’re just living in it

if taco bell ever gets rid of the cantina crispy chicken taco im killing myself

oomf reblogging a bunch of bad luck brian memes on tumblr 2012 is back in a big way

straight men are obsessed with having the gnarliest fucking toes youve ever seen in your life

shaved my balls for the first time in like 2 years i kinda forgot they were there

i loooove when a lesbian is kinda faggy. and not dykey i mean like faggy faggy.

slipped on ice while doordashing and hurt my elbow im literally gonna end my shit right the fuck now

trying not to compare myself to friends with established careers and houses and actual savings

hi gay boys

theres a counter in my brain that tracks the number of little sounds i make every day and if it doesnt reach 1000 by midnight my head explodes

a pelican just scooped me up with its bill and carried me off

seine angst ist meine angst… seine wut ist meine wut…

whose dick do i have to suck to find some goddamn marcona almonds

just saw a lady serve bucatini without tossing it in the sauce first she just dumped the sauce on top…. of all the fucking pastas to do that with….. i want her in prison

another migraine vanquished

just saw a guy with an eyebrow slit in his mustache…. i want him dead in a ditch

fighting for my life against the ghost of that buldak ramen i had for dinner….

feeling antsy and bored everybody watch out

dont have any peanut butter for my oatmeal

danuta… danuta…. it is me… will you go there

this ladys phone started ringing at the library and her ringtone was a small dog barking loud as fuck

pie for brekky yayy

im so fucking full of hotpot

WAITTT i didnt know rosamund pike did the reading for the fourth wheel of time audiobook omg this is so fierce

baby phat jizz rag whenever we feelin cummy…..

FAGGOT EMERGENCYYYYYY