love peruvian food cause theyre not scared to carbmax. rice and potatoes on the same plate nobody bitching and moaning about macros just real EATERS!!!

being high at costco makes me feel like a manlet like im a tiny little bug of a man arent i

when i see videos of people cooking ground beef my immediate thought is that theyre stupid as fuck and idk why

might fuck around and sautee a bunch of mushrooms today….

let it be known that i was team tiff up until the end

i kinda never wanna eat a sandwich that isnt toasted or grilled

just as sweet as st lucia

the european mind cannot comprehend the concept of breakfast for dinner

robin hobb looooves to use the word rebuke its on like every other page

kinda wanna take minoxidil but not for my head cause i look hot bald idgaf about that, what i do want is a dense forest of chest hair and also shoulder hair

good mornting

free chobanis in the work fridge i feel like gayle waters-waters

my nipples really make any garment i wear slutty as fuck, lowkey it is a curse

youre telling me this paperback is trade?

the worst part of living in michigan is obviously the roads/car insurance rates but a close second is that we dont have little geckos 😔

i can forgive an artichoke in a chicken piccata but a tomato? kill yourself dead

not a calorie counter but i just looked at how many calories are in a bag of traitor joes takis

the voiced uvular trill is an unpleasant phoneme. to my ear.

theres like a trend of gym bros saying they dont feel lat pulldowns in their back when they do them and i just wanna say are you guys fucking stupid or something

yeah i’ll have the thick thighs pussy salad

when frodo fell into that haunted swamp its like ok you have giardia now surely

cant believe im 30 this is so crazy actually

i just smoked a blunt with mrs mccluskey

gm

high at my parents house

oomf informed me i should not be taking 1000 millies of ibuprofen every time i have a migraine. much to think about

my dishidrotic eczema could mean anything

having big meaty triceps is kinda feminist of me if you think about it

its happening soooo soon and i hope it happens on my birthday omg can you imagine

i am so full of blueberry lemon pancakes i think im gonna die

no homo i am eating root vegetables

introducing oomf to girl blunt by leikeli47 feels like evangelism

rutherford b shopping

we as gay people get to make peanut sauce noodles with two fried eggs

my god these bitches gay! good for them

still dont know who tf clavicular is or what he does

it is objectively funny that we have energy work classes in massage school but when i do it i do feel a slow rhythmic pulsing throughout the body much like the ocean

planet fitness music is either the gayest pop songs from 2016 or the absolute worst shit youve ever heard from a man in your life

was teaching my straight friend how to use boots and he was like “bro this ice cream is fire boots” i said well no

just noticed my only pair of jeans has holes in the crotch

i start barking like a rottweiler at the mere mention of mens water polo

trolling the champions ranked ladder with the alolan ninetales + snow cloak bright powder froslass double blizzy combo WITH fries and a dr pepper

im deathly allergic to checking my mailbox

if it’s not a 14 track r&b album i will be having a talk with her

that evil ass country needs to CEAAASEEE TO EXIIISSTTTTT MY GODDDD

just learned of the existence of a granola brand called purely elizabeth. every day its some bullshit

if it happens tomorrow while im at my parents house im gonna be soooo mad omfg

love being thick cause now i look slutty as fuck in a medium t shirt

recently came into a small fortune (coworker cant have gluten so gave me an unopened box of puff pastry)

rosamund pike doing a bjork impression in this wheel of time audio book i need her to egot NOWWWW