We can talk about systems, philosophies and structures, but this is Everton's problem: Up top, we recruit shite Tosun, Rondon, Niasse, Maupay, Beto, Sandro, Barry, Chermiti and Kean - 35 League goals Branthwaite, Holgate, Mina, Keane, O'Brien and Tawkowski - 36 league goals

Tosun, Rondon, Niasse, Maupay, Beto, Sandro, Barry and Kean - 35 League goals Branthwaite, Holgate, Mina, Keane, and Tawkowsk - 34 league goals

The most ‘Everton’ shoot out imaginable

Moyes spoke about a lack of European football hampering our transfer business If the board has any ambition this squad needs more quality now With the league tight, no cup runs, and no European football, a tilt at the top 7 is not just possible but potentially transformative

The Hindenburg was better in the air than Beto

if you count Aznou winning that as an ‘Assist’, he’s just registered more assists in 3 minutes than Mykolenko has in 3 seasons

Until we move on from players like Beto, Mykolenko and McNeil we are never going to kick on as a club. So much deadwood needs removing in the summer

The bar for what it takes for Everton to receive a penalty compared to the bar for what it takes to concede one must be the widest in the league

Welcome to the Wonderful World of Everton Refereeing Where Everything is Different

Two proper full backs absolutely transform this Everton team. It’s so fucking obvious you wonder what the recruitment team are waiting for Both wide players are crying out for support

At least amongst our gloom, we still have the Tele Reds (Fulham edition)

Tele Reds 2025 Highlights

5 Good Things… James Garner Another away win 4 points off the Top 4 Hinchcliffe is denied his celebratory hate wank We’re spared Dyche’s shit eating grin

Up The Threadbare Toffs

League goals from the Everton frontline by the halfway mark in recent seasons 22/23 - 2 23/24 - 4 24/25 - 3 25/26 - 2 That’s 11 goals in 72 games. It’s a rate of return fractionally higher than Michael Keane’s over his last 72 games

Even the opposition see it

The Joys of Premier League Officiating

"That's what happens when you play for Everton - you forget the rest. The rest means nothing," Duncan Ferguson - Born on This Day 1971 Read More About His Everton Career Here - tinyurl.com/53tewnpj

The Little Toffees Activity & Colouring Book is available to buy at the @evertonheritage.bsky.social stand today It’s the Perfect Xmas Present for Young Blues Featuring 20 Activities and 30 Colouring Pages @cbobblers1878.bsky.social @theblueroomefcpod.bsky.social @uhtpodcast.bsky.social

Bet the house on what happens next…

Despite being in a school jam packed with glory hunting southern Kopites, and being the only Evertonian, my son still elects to wear this on xmas jumper day UTFT

100% Redshite

Tele Reds (Leeds Edition)

Copies of my new book, The Little Toffees Activity & Colouring Book will be on sale today at the @EvertonHeritage stand Upstairs at The BlueHouse With 20 Puzzles and 30 Colouring Images, it’s the perfect Xmas gift for any young Evertonian @cbobblers1878.bsky.social @uhtpodcast.bsky.social

3 points off 4th with a front line that has one goal in 14. Imagine how good we’d be with even a vaguely competent goalscorer Not even a great one. Just someone who could intermittently score

I’d like to reach the mental point where my first thought is a few points off Europe and not 10 points off the drop

3 players marking nobody In a season where set pieces are causing damage across the league, this is what Everton are doing

Tim Iroegbunam was only meant to appear on a balance sheet not a team sheet

Copies of The Little Toffees Activity and Colouring Book will be on sale at the Heritage Society stand before the match today 20 Activities and 30 Colouring images, covering the men's teams the women's and some legends The Perfect Xmas gift for any young Blue

Some Boss Tele Reds (PSV Edition)

Might not last long, so enjoy it while you can

Some Boss Tele Reds (Forest Edition)

Royle Resurrection: The Night When Everton Came Back From the Dead On this day, 1994 Featuring the Dogs of War, Duncan Ferguson's Bullet Header, and Joe Parkinson Tackling a Crisp Packet Read More Here: tinyurl.com/mpm8ux9f

The Little Toffees Activity & Colouring Book The Perfect Xmas Present for Young Evertonians Featuring 20 Activities and 30 Colouring Pages! Out Now on Amazon Buy Here: tinyurl.com/ykjd75uf @cbobblers1878.bsky.social @theblueroomefcpod.bsky.social @the-esk.bsky.social @rbmersey.bsky.social

Just Some Boss Tele Reds (City Edition)

‘Leeds committed the first misdemeanour, and this was followed at regular intervals by fouls of subtle, fragrant, and sometimes cruel variation on both sides.’ The Battle of Goodison: Everton v Leeds On This Day 1964 Read More Here - tinyurl.com/ytzr53hz

As it’s Halloween, here are my top 5 horror inducing Everton moments from the Premier League era 1: 2-0 down to Wimbledon 94 2: Dion Dublin equaliser v Coventry 98 3: 2-0 down to Palace 2022 4: Appointment of Benitez 5: First points deduction

Would you look at that, none of the four richest clubs drawn against each other. What are the odds!

Just some boss Tele Reds (Crystal Palace Edition)

Some of the noise around Moyes now not dissimilar to West Ham fans during his twilight with the club I don’t necessarily think Moyes is the long term answer. But considering their post-Moyes slump and our recent chaos, there’s probably a strong case for caution

Just Some Boss Tele Reds (Brentford Edition)

🚨🚨 EPISODE 284 OUT NOW 🚨🚨 With @jimkeoghan.bsky.social 🔵 Branthwaite Setback 🔵 Man City Review 🔵 Ndiaye Magic 🔵 Beto Narrative 🔵 Spurs Preview 🔗 linktr.ee/uhtpodcast #UHTPodcast #EFC #COYB #Everton

Forest Fans, prepare yourself for…Hard Yards. Noise. Feel. Alignment. Back on the Grass. Earn my Stripes. Fine Margins. Details. Gonna Take Time. Good Outfit. Change the Story. Trust the process

Some Boss Tele Reds (United Edition)

Graeme Sharp: Born on This Day 1960 Read All About His Everton Career Here: tinyurl.com/mtd4p8j7 @cbobblers1878.bsky.social @uhtpodcast.bsky.social @the-esk.bsky.social @paddyboyland.bsky.social @everton.toffeetvefc.com

Our Number 9

‘When I watch Van Dijk….

Cinematic

Cinematic RS

Before his move, in his previous 95 league games, Dewsbury Hall picked up 9 yellow cards In just 6 games for Everton he has 5 While its possible he has suddenly become a different player overnight, it’s equally possible that Everton are just officiated differently