You have 2 young wingers, one of whom cost a bomb. So makes perfect sense to start the lad you were happy to sell a few weeks ago instead of them. The same lad who will be gone in the summer

Starting Keane or Tarkowski over Branthwaite at centre half is mystifying It’s like choosing to eat in a restaurant with a one star food hygiene rating when there’s a five star next door, secure in the knowledge that you’ve eaten there before and always got the wild shites

Branthwaite is by some distance Everton’s best centre half I can’t think of many other sides who would take their best central defender and stick him at full back

Hill Dickinson lit up like Xmas. I like to think you can also see it from space too

If the kids are at a loose end this half term, why not get them a copy of The Little Toffees Activity & Colouring Book? 20 Activities and 30 Colouring Pages New updated version includes Tyrique George, The Class of 85 and our 95 FA Cup win Buy Here: tinyurl.com/ykjd75uf

Everton Rules Player booked for taking quick free kick - nobody else has Player sent off for hair pull - others haven't been Player booked for clapping - others don't get punished Manager booked for celebrating a goal - some teams invade the entire pitch without sanction

Some clubs are just reffed differently

When it comes to forwards, over the last decade, we’ve really been spoiled as fans

Tosun, Rondon, Niasse, Maupay, Beto, Sandro, Barry, Chermiti and Kean - does any club recruit as badly up front as Everton?

No matter the result, Everton routinely serve up a terrible half. Shite second half today, awful first half against Fulham, dire first half against Brighton. Plenty of other examples It’s like you watch two completely different teams across 90

If anyone ever asks you what it’s like to be an Evertonian, show them minutes 61-69 of this game

Copies of The Little Toffees Activity & Colouring Book are available to buy at the @EvertonHeritage Centre before the match tonight With 20 Activities and 30 Colouring pages (featuring the Men’s team, Everton Women & a few Legends) it’s perfect for any young Blue

‘Unity is Strength’

The Tele Reds (City Edition)

Amazing the difference it makes once we’re able to spend a bit of cash Absolutely elevates the team A gem of a footballer

How Sky will display the top 7

You know a Mykolenko assist is one of the portents of the apocalypse

I know football management is more complicated than it seems but surely playing your best team and playing people in the positions they’ve spent their careers training in is a given?

When I played groots football in Lpool in the 80s, my teams were mostly Dave’s, John’s, Paul’s etc I now coach my son’s team down south and can field an outfield 10 more reminiscent of a polo team Leonardo, Hector, Arthur, Chester, Jonty, Xavier, Jasper, Hugo, Stefan & Simeon

There might be a case to say the Premier League just make things up as they go along... Everton £19.5m breach - 10 points Leicester City £20.8m breach - 6 points Nottingham Forest £34.5m breach - 4 points

Two seasons, two bookings. One for impersonating a seagull, the other for dancing like a Dad whose acca has come in That’s modern refs for you

At no point in his long managerial career has Moyes produced frustration-free football He’ll make you competitive, put together sides of likeable hardworking pros, banish the spectre of relegation (mostly) But the handbrake will always be slightly on That’s the deal

If we're not going to bring in reinforcements to push for Europe, then considering there's nothing else to play for, he has to be given priority over McNeil for the remainder of the season Focus on the future not the past

In 5 seasons with us Mykolenko has 4 goals and 2 assists His crossing is abysmal, moves frequently die when he receives, and wingers get so little help from him Just for comparison, in his last 5 seasons, Leighton Baines scored 9 and got 27 assists

Baines to Mykolenko in two moves might be one of the biggest downgrades in Everton history

The Keeping Our Powder Dry Until The Summer approach to transfers sometimes seems sensible. Then you watch Mykolenko and you realise it just fucking isn’t

As ‘Everton’ a performance as you’d expect Loads of positivity going into the game, coming off the back of a great win, players back, under the lights, at home… So obviously they deliver a half devoid of energy and creativity

Carragher on Van Dijk

Tele Reds (Bournemouth Edition)

Some clubs will have offside lines drawn thicker to benefit them, some clubs will have players only get booked for knee high tackles, and some clubs will have perfectly legitimate goals chalked off for no reason

Just say what you mean. We’re gonna give what the fuck we want and then justify it with a load of bullshit The game is about the officials now. They are what matter

The Tele Reds (Burnley Edition)

Tele Reds (Mark Guehi Edition)

January 1994 - The Mike Walker Era Begins Benitez will always be more loathed but nobody (hopefully) will ever surpass Walker's unmitigated shitness

We can talk about systems, philosophies and structures, but this is Everton's problem: Up top, we recruit shite Tosun, Rondon, Niasse, Maupay, Beto, Sandro, Barry, Chermiti and Kean - 35 League goals Branthwaite, Holgate, Mina, Keane, O'Brien and Tawkowski - 36 league goals

Tosun, Rondon, Niasse, Maupay, Beto, Sandro, Barry and Kean - 35 League goals Branthwaite, Holgate, Mina, Keane, and Tawkowsk - 34 league goals

The most ‘Everton’ shoot out imaginable

Moyes spoke about a lack of European football hampering our transfer business If the board has any ambition this squad needs more quality now With the league tight, no cup runs, and no European football, a tilt at the top 7 is not just possible but potentially transformative

The Hindenburg was better in the air than Beto

if you count Aznou winning that as an ‘Assist’, he’s just registered more assists in 3 minutes than Mykolenko has in 3 seasons

Until we move on from players like Beto, Mykolenko and McNeil we are never going to kick on as a club. So much deadwood needs removing in the summer

The bar for what it takes for Everton to receive a penalty compared to the bar for what it takes to concede one must be the widest in the league

Welcome to the Wonderful World of Everton Refereeing Where Everything is Different

Two proper full backs absolutely transform this Everton team. It’s so fucking obvious you wonder what the recruitment team are waiting for Both wide players are crying out for support

At least amongst our gloom, we still have the Tele Reds (Fulham edition)

Tele Reds 2025 Highlights

5 Good Things… James Garner Another away win 4 points off the Top 4 Hinchcliffe is denied his celebratory hate wank We’re spared Dyche’s shit eating grin

Up The Threadbare Toffs

League goals from the Everton frontline by the halfway mark in recent seasons 22/23 - 2 23/24 - 4 24/25 - 3 25/26 - 2 That’s 11 goals in 72 games. It’s a rate of return fractionally higher than Michael Keane’s over his last 72 games