Last night I asked my husband what tv programmes he was subjected to by his parents, at home back in the 80s. He said, and I quote, "I sat through every episode of Kenco."

Saw a muscle-bound builder cry his eyes out after he dropped his Rolex into a cement mixer. That was a hard watch.

Damn. No acting partnership set the screen ablaze quite like Redford and Newman. Forever the Sundance Kid.

My village scarecrow trail has outdone itself this year. With a theme of 'Famous Duos', this stunning depiction of PJ & Duncan will scar local children for years. Bravo!

Just had a near death experience on the M4. I drove past Slough.

[Morecambe & Wise, lying in bed, watching a documentary about a drug dealer addicted to Häagen-Dazs] Eric: He's not going to sell much speed going at that ice cream, is he?

Wool! Huh! What is it good for? Absolutely knitting Say it again

Not long back from a 5 mile run. Man, that was one persistent wasp.

Make it a fiver and I'll come and do the washing-up.

I've just verified my age with a word-perfect rendition of the monologue from The A-Team's opening credits.

I'm delighted the Lionesses won and I'm saddened by the passing of Ozzy Osbourne - but there is something very wrong in our society when the national news leads with a football story first, the passing of a musician second, and the deliberate starvation of innocent children third.

Betty Swallocks, Ricky Sting. Ricky Sting, Betty Swallocks. 🤝

Brilliant start to the day; found a leaflet for a strip club and got off to a flyer.

Scenes From A British Restaurant (with sincere apologies to Billy Joel) Linda and Trevor they were not very clever But the king and the queen of the fete Driving at speed in a Ford Capri with a personalised plate Nobody dressed quite as skimpy Or was more of a shit at the local Wimpy

"She got the four of diamonds on the soles of her shoes"

Impossible to recommend and applaud 'The Assembly' enough. Life-affirming tv with an abundance of authenticity and humanity. Best thing on the box in a long, long time. 👏👏👏 #theassembly #itv

TV idea: VIRGO Virgo is an unconventional homicide detective from Lancashire played by John Virgo. Grumpy face/heart of gold, this guy doesn’t follow the Miss rules. Has a terrier called Dennis. Catchphrases: "Where's the murder weapon going?" & "Is there any DNA?" "There's *always* DNA." #Snooker

In these challenging times someone might need one of them: Childline: 0800 1111 Samaritans: 116 123 Domestic Violence Hotline: 0808 2000 247 Mind: 0300 123 3393 Age UK: 0800 169 6565 Alcoholics Anonymous : 0800 9177 650 Cruse Bereavement Care: 0808 808 1677 MH text support: 85258

My parents went to a 1980s convention and all I got was this blousy t-shirt.

So, farewell then WH Smith - home of my first Saturday job on the typically random 'Records and Pens' counter. The day a customer demanded, "How long does an ink cartridge last?" remains a particular highlight.

I drove all night To get to Bude

Oh man. Gene Hackman. As complete a screen actor as there's ever been. Everyman or President, he brought truth, weight, and humanity to each role; you couldn't take your eyes off him. A giant.

Apparently, I've too much iron in my blood. I say this with a heavy heart.

Some people have, say, twenty countries they want to visit before they die. I can't even think of twenty friends I'd like to see before I pop off. (This is a joke. I've scraped together a list of twenty-one, three of which are dogs.)

Went with dad to visit mum in the nursing home today. They met as teenagers, chatting over the hedge that divided Trowbridge Boys and Girls schools - a love that has lasted over 60 years. This photo makes my heart happy. #Dementia #ForACure

Deliberately wrote a crap joke by adding a typo. Sometimes I'm my own worst enema.

RIP Tony Slattery. 'Whose Line Is It Anyway?' brought me so much joy as a comedy improv-obsessed teenager. His performances always sparkled with outrageous wit, immense charm, and delightful mischief. A huge inspiration and a real loss. x

The Wicked Queen has been defeated And panto season's now completed I'm chuffed to bits to reach the end And never hear those songs again 😉 Huge thanks to all cast, crew, creatives, musicians, wardrobe, Bath Theatre Royal staff, chaperones, and our brilliant audiences. Till next time! xx

Thank you to Katherine and Fran for the beautiful flowers - incredibly kind! Hope you enjoyed the show (again!) and Happy New Year! x

Passed a stranger whilst walking the dog. Started to say "Hi", changed my mind to "Hello", ended up with "Heil".

Anyone got a spare copy of the Human Rights Convention? I've got an 11am New Year's Eve panto performance and I wanna check something.

Oh my God. It's finally happened. The line has been crossed and I can't go back. I've just found myself pottering. I'm only 52.

My 23rd panto season starts tonight, and my work ethic remains undiminished. Sold-out audience or a near empty house - I will always, ALWAYS*, give 60%. (*matinees not included)

Ah, the joy of techs.

A week in the life of an avocado: Monday - solid Tuesday - rock hard Wednesday - concrete Thursday - indestructible Friday - unyielding Saturday - impenetrable Sunday - sludge

Arguing over the correct nickname for woodlice always opens up a massive can of wriggly-jims.

Cut the tail off a rattlesnake and you'll never hear the end of it.

When I die, I'd like my ashes placed in a giant pantomime pyro and fired on the Fairy's entrance.

Can't believe it's 20 years since I plagiarised a Beatles song. Seems like yesterday.

3 years ago. It remains my greatest achievement.

yes, I know ancient Egyptians made huge advances in mathematics, architecture, and medicine, but they also worshipped cats - so imho they were idiots

I dreamt I fell into a vat of Viennetta and woke up in a cold sweet.

Howitzer Howitzer started going

[to the tune of Eleanor Rigby] Wicked the movie Two and a half hours long and it still isn't done Only part one

Cute felt. Might delete later.

Tiger Tiger, burning bright, In the forests of the night; The leaping flames are further proof A massive cat can still go woof.

Post you from a different era. (1982 and best day ever)

Theatre Royal Bath panto rehearsals start next week. Looking forward to coming back out of the closet. Ba-dum tish. (Photo: The Bath Magazine/Joe Short)

Musical Theatre actor: MT is the most stigmatised, belittled, and undervalued theatre genre. Panto actor: Oh no it isn't. TiE actor: We know a song about that...

Travelling alone, on a half-empty train, and needing a pee. 3 options: 1. Leave my stuff and dash to the loo. 2. Take all my stuff with me. 3. Ask someone to watch my stuff, remembering every detail of their face in case they they rob me and disappear, provoking a lifelong deadly search for justice.