Gerrit van Aaken (@gerritvanaaken.typo.social.ap.brid.gy)

The Mastermind Box Cover: What the Hell Were They Thinking? - - - #### INVICTA GAMES, LTD. Packaging Team — Official Minutes Project: _Mastermind_ / New Cover Presentation MARTIN SMITH (_Marketing Senior Vice President_): Okay. Gary’s got a new cover comp. Gary, walk us through your vision. GARY LARKIN (_Design Lead_): Right. Here it is. Black void. Two adults. No board. No pegs. PAM REYNOLDS (_Product Development_): Where are the children? LARKIN: Exactly. Also, who cares? REYNOLDS: You know this game is eight-plus, right? LARKIN: If you put a kid on the cover, you’re telling buyers it’s a kid game. If you put adults on the cover, you’re telling kids it’s a gateway to adulthood. This is basic aspirational psychology. They’ll feel like tiny professors. Or tiny villains. Both sell. SHEILA GRANT (_Sales Director_): Why no kitchen table? LARKIN: Because kitchen tables are for fucking _Candyland_. We’re selling a political mode of thinking: deduction as power. Think less “family night,” and more “I will find the hidden structure of your choices, and then I will destroy you.” REYNOLDS: Talk to me about the man. He looks… a little smug? LARKIN: Yes. Smug is the emotional tone of _Mastermind_. I want the buyer to feel judged by the box. Like the box is already disappointed in them. If you don’t want smug, don’t name the game _Mastermind_. This isn’t fucking checkers. This is a duel in a seminar room at Davos. SMITH: Yes! “Smug” can be our brand essence. The product is a controlled experiment in superiority. REYNOLDS: And the woman? LARKIN: She’s the counterforce. Wittgenstein’s ghost at a cocktail party. Quiet, precise, dangerous because she doesn’t need to explain herself. She’s the one who knows the rules and knows when to break them. REYNOLDS: She also looks like she’s here to ruin his career. LARKIN: Sure. That’s part of it. _Mastermind_ is adversarial epistemology. Two people testing the limits of what can be known. Plus, maybe they’re fucking? REYNOLDS: Do we want sexual tension on a board game cover for eight-year-olds? SMITH: We want _adult_ tension. The tension of brains. If anyone sees sex, that’s on them. We’re not responsible for the public’s imagination. We’re responsible for moving units in Woolworths. Gary, I see what you’re going for… a Cold War posture: mutually assured… embarrassment? You probe, they conceal, you infer, they flinch. Gorgeous. REYNOLDS: Jesus. All that from colored pegs and a plastic tray? LARKIN: Bingo. GRANT: Okay, but where’s the warmth? The fun? Where’s the invitation? LARKIN: Warmth is for _Sorry!_ This is not a hug. This is a chess clock in a stranger’s living room telling you your parents are getting divorced. The invitation is “Are you smart enough to sit at this table?” REYNOLDS: I’m still hung up on the no kids thing. Aren’t we basically telling children they’re not the audience? SMITH: No, we’re telling them they’re not the current audience. But they could be… REYNOLDS: Fine. But can we at least flag the age range on the front so parents don’t think we’re selling them a goddamn espionage novel? SMITH: Yes. Small type. Discreet. Like a classified stamp. GRANT: Could we put a badge on it? Something like “Awarded Game of the Year.” SMITH: Yes. We need medals. We need royal crests. We need to reassure the buyer that they are purchasing status. I want the box to feel like it won a war. LARKIN: Also, note the diagonal yellow banner in the corner that says “Improved.” People love improvement—even if they don’t know what was wrong before. “Improved” says we were humble enough to evolve, but not humble enough to specify how. SMITH: Brilliant. “Improved” in a bold modern font. It’s like saying “Now with more mind.” REYNOLDS: The board isn’t in the photo. LARKIN: The board is implied. If you show the board, you limit the imagination. If you don’t show the board, anyone could be playing _Mastermind_ at any time. In a limo. In a bunker. On a yacht while plotting the downfall of a minor principality. REYNOLDS: Or at my kitchen table? With my nephew? SMITH: Goddammit, Pam. Fuck the kitchen table. Get on board! GRANT: So the story is: _Mastermind_ isn’t a board game, it’s a world view? LARKIN: Yes, a world view where inference leads to domination! SMITH: I want every eight-year-old to look at this and think, “Someday, I will destroy my father’s confidence with pure logic.” REYNOLDS: You guys are monsters. SMITH: We’re toy executives, Pam. Just toy executives. GRANT: All right. I’m sold. It’s smart, it’s sharp, it’s fucking terrifying. In other words, it’s finally _Mastermind_. LARKIN: So, we’re green-lighting this direction? SMITH: Yes. Let the box look like it could pass a doctoral defense and start a coup d’etat at the same time. https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/the-mastermind-box-cover-what-the-hell-were-they-thinking