She likes to get up on the ottoman to beg for treats by looking adorable. HOW IS SHE REAL?!

Went exploring in the woods again and found an old cemetery.

I love this silly little cuddle bug. She's the goofiest looking creature. She is mine.

Is Ingrid actually Periwinkle??? I think Ingrid is Periwinkle. #itwelcometoderry

My favorite trend is all the videos of people driving by a car accident and yelling "YOU CAN'T PARK THERE." Most of the time, they yell back, but I'd definitely laugh because that's how I handle emergencies.

I have caught so many yawns on camera.

How to NOT be an asshole: if you are turning into an alley, and there is a car already coming through the alley, YOU WAIT TO TURN INTO THE ALLEY, you don't force the car to BACK UP A HALF OF A BLOCK SO YOU CAN ENTER THE ALLEY. For fuck sake! I have some dumb fucking neighbors.

I can't believe it's been 3 years since I posted this, the night before her 4th (and final) jawbone surgery. She wore turtlenecks instead of cones. She took those surgeries like a champ, and bounced back like a boss. We had 8 more healthy & happy months with her. Worth every penny. Miss her so much.

There's something special about this era of marketing...I love to think that these companies hired GenZers to run their social media and they just go wild in the comments everywhere, knowing full well that their bosses don't even know how to log into TikTok. It's brilliant. Keep it up. 😂

I've been dissociating all evening but my spidey senses were tingling. What did I miss?

If the GOP won't pass the ACA subsidies, private insurance companies should consider lowering prices- they absolutely CAN...otherwise, they're heralding the end of private insurance because this will only drive up support for Medicare for All in the not-so-distant future.

I don't think I've heard anyone discuss the fact that "It" is called "It" because "It" is literally non-binary...they only mention that it lays eggs in the final confrontation, and I have so many questions about this. King better explain this in the book. I'll come back to this post when I finish.

Maybe he demolished the east wing because Melania didn't want to decorate it for Christmas, and he needed to come up with an excuse. I mean...she literally said she doesn't give a fuck about Christmas decorations, and she hated doing them.

I'm BEGGING podcasters to PLEASE stop using click bait statements in your titles ("IT'S OVER/HE IS DONE/MAGA COLLAPSING") unless he actually gets forced out of office by the GOP.

What did I just say?

When I was in high school, before social media & cell phones, the local coffee shop was the place where everyone hung out. A Starbucks opened a few blocks south, and we joked that it would go out of business. Someone burnt it down a few months later. 😂 Whoever did it got away with it. 🖕Starbucks🖕

Priorities.

I get that people in the media can't say he's a pedo, because he could sue you for defamation...but I say go for it. One word: DISCOVERY.

I noticed a suspicious sore/bald spot on Floor's dewlap 2 days ago, so we made an appointment. Dr. Nick said it looks like an injury (probably a bite or scratch from a bonding date last week 🙁) but it's already healing up, which is good news. I just feel bad that I didn't notice when it happened.

I use closed captions so much that I'm kinda annoyed that audiobooks don't include the text.

Being a millennial is uniquely tragic because we were raised by a generation that convinced us you could live comfortably within your means if you go to college. We also watched that generation blow a BUDGET SURPLUS and pull up the ladder behind them. Enjoy the nursing homes, assholes.

If you ever see me laughing to myself, just know I'm probably remembering that Robbie Williams was portrayed by a CGI monkey in his own biopic.

Finally working my way through Stephen King's It, and my ADHD makes it a bit challenging to read something that was written by someone who was clearly doing a lot of blow in the 80s.

It's very possible (and likely) that he will veto the release of the files, and it won't get enough votes to override the veto. But it's going be a really bad look when their votes are on the official record. They will have to defend voting against it while defending him. It's about to get ugly.

My toaster died after 20 years. I'm a little sad. It was the first kitchen appliance that I ever purchased. It was purple and cost me $12. Thanks for all the crispy memories, little guy.

Someone in my life disclosed to me that being deep in MAGA country has reminded her of how it felt when she went to trusted adults after being SA'd as a child & they told her to just forget that it ever happened. MAGA is traumatizing victims by covering for a predator. Full fucking stop. STFU NANCY

Went on a little hike with a kiddo this afternoon before sunset, and we ventured into the woods off the path and came across this creepy little shrine. I found a little bedazzled turtle figurine inside. It made me smile. Turtles are good luck, right? #itwelcometoderry

I don't have a way of watching local or national broadcast news, but I'm willing to bet that these emails will either be completely sane washed or they won't even be covered in the news. It's by design. They all follow the same script. This won't even register with his base.

She heard my alarm, so she knows I'm awake. She didn't come with a snooze button.

I don't know...this sounds like something Pennywise would post to lure kids into the sewers...

When asked by a female reporter why he gave Argentina $40B, Trump replied "Young lady, they're fighting for their life. They're dying." I don't know how she didn't immediately follow up with, "Ok OLD MAN, and what about Americans who are quite literally FIGHTING FOR THEIR LIVES AND DYING?"

I used to serve/bartend at a restaurant with 4 levels. I loved working on the top floor, but that meant 3 flights to the kitchen. When customers asked me if we had a dumbwaiter, I always whispered, "We have at least 5 'dumbwaiters,' but not the kind you're talking about."

There's a Taylor Swift lyric for just about every headline lately. Today's lyric/song...

Ahead of Veterans Day, I was honored to welcome a flight of veterans and their families as they arrived in DC.

Kiddo: I left my book at school. Me: We can try the library. Kiddo: Yeah, but that's gonna cost money. Me: What? Kiddo: You can't just get a book for free. Me: I'm sorry...have you ever been to the library? Kiddo: No. I usually just go to Barnes & Noble. Me: I'm about to blow your mind.

So, are the ACA subsidies going to be the GOP's ultimate third rail? I can't see them surviving the midterms if they let health insurance premiums skyrocket - and it will hit everyone. People are starting to pay attention...they can only gaslight voters for so long.

Post with your favorite dino

The roads are shit in Columbus. We never get snow like this in early November. Thankfully, my doctor was able to do a telehealth visit this morning instead. I hate not knowing if I will be able to have insurance next year. Drive safe, guys.

Protect him at ALL COSTS! #itwelcometoderry

It's almost time for episode 3! #itwelcometoderry

Finally! A notification!

TFW I hear those little glockenspiel chimes...

I'm on a horror movie binge spree. What's your favorite?

WHAT HAVE I BEEN SAYING?!?

I keep seeing videos where people have a chirping smoke alarm, and I get so triggered by this because if ours chirps ONCE, the bunnies PANIC - then *I* panic. I don't have the luxury of not changing the batteries.

Watching my place in line slowly move up on Libby for all the books I want to read like...

Little weirdos.🥰

She was so sleepy last night, she barely woke up when I carried her to the bedroom. 😴Eepy baby😴

Just watched Barbarian...