ahem. Lemme break out the template ZOMG I CANNOT BELIEVE PRESIDENT ___________ INVADED ___________ AND CAPTURED __________! I GUESS HE WANTED THEIR OIL.

Basically, if I have to jump through hoops to tolerate you when your philosophies cry out for the destruction of my friends, I ain’t jumpin’.

🎶 Oh the weather outside is frightful 🎶 Yes the weather outside is frightful 🎶 Since the weather outside is frightful 🎶 Yes it’s frightful 🎶 Yes it’s frightful 🎶 Yes it’s frightful!

Don't worry about the VF Paywall, just search "Vanity Fair" on any social media site and you'll be able to see pretty much every photo. --- One of the overriding themes in the Vanity Fair photoshoot is how These People Do Not Belong Here and This Place Is Going To Hell. 1/?

It’s official! Come see Tobias inflict his TROUBADORK Show at the New Braunfels Renaissance Faire You can find him… at the LARK AND BALL TAVERN Friday 6:30 & 8:30 Saturday 2:30, 5:30, and 7:30 Sunday 12:00 & 5:30 New hat! New instrument! And the usual shenanigans! This weekend!

Phrases I am proud I came up with (ongoing series) "YOU NON-EUCLIDEAN DINGBAT!"

You know what’s beautiful? share.google/SsDY01PJ6IfT...

Dialog Fragment: "COWER, MORTAL, FOR I AM-" "Wow, first day with the corporeal body, huh?" "I AM NOW MANIFEST! FOR -" "So have you figured out how to keep from biting your own tongue all the time?" "WHAT -OW! HOW DO YOU- OW! YOU WILL P-OW! FIEND-OW!" (this goes on for a while in the background)

True story: one of my friends transitioned and came to Renfair as a new character. I came to viait, saw her at a table in character, and could not remember her character name. In a mild panic I engaged my diaphragm and bellowed “OI! GIANT WOMAN!!!!”

KATIE KATIE KATIE @katie.bzky.team !!! SHE DID THE THING BEHOLD

FINALLY THE PAPER REALIZES ITS TRUE POTENTIAL AS A ROLLED UP WEAPON TO BE USED AGAINST JEFF BEZOS

Dialog fragment (must happen rapidly) "Have you ever been hit in the face with a broom?"" "What -" WHAP "Have you ever been hit in the face twice with a broom?"

THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ILLEGAL ABOUT PUTTING ANOTHER FENCE IN FRONT OF THE ICE FENCE IN CHICAGO. THAT I'M AWARE OF. I MEAN, I'M NOT A LAWYER. BUT IF YOU PUT UP A FENCE RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEIR GATE I MEAN WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO? THEY *WANTED* A FENCE THERE...

I have had multiple people call me a bard OUTSIDE of a Renfair environment this week, and I am 100% not certain how I feel about that beyond "I ... am RESISTANT to calling myself that"

TODAY I LEARNED that since an Banjolele from the Outdoor Ukulele Company of Bend, OR is designed to take a high G (20) string - specifically in the clever slotty thing at the tailpiece - One cannot restring it with a low G (40) string.

[Nancy Mace shot Charlie Kirk. I'm just saying.]

Will Wood. Fist at the sky! Point at the ground! Fist at the sky! Point at the ground!

I posted a picture of me being the IT guy in the seminar yesterday and got favorited by about 400 bots within 2 hours.

Yes I am awake but I am open to negotiation

Some people apparently have very strong takes on whether it's required to have a take, and some mean names to go with them. My point is that when everyone else already has a take about something you don't feel like investing your mental energy in, it's cool to sit this one out. Take the day off.

So now I get to be smart about computers to a bunch of engineers after spending way too much time blarting on social media at 2am in the freaking morning…

If an argument causes you to declare your opponent looks tasty, that’s an ad hominomnomnom attack

Plotz and stares, y’all

He was a grifter. It’s really really simple.

seriously start replying with “Charlie Kirk WHO” and watch the fun.

A reminder to go do something that doesn’t involve sitting up chronically online at 3am trying to empty your brain enough to catch some more sleep before you have to go be smart for people at 7am

My OC: Bunny archer comforting the winged bunnies #sketchbook #copic

Charlie Kirk spent his life‘s work and all of his energy and time targeting out-groups while arguing for a world in which gun massacres would be easy to enact, plentiful, and inevitable, and he became famous and wealthy doing it, and we’re now not supposed to mention that because it’s not polite.

most of us are STILL just trying to get from one day to the next and deserve a little grace

it always feels like we're being forced to throw a dinner party for the worst people on earth, and we have to shut up and smile and be gracious, no complaints, while the worst people on earth are our honored guests and we best not embarrass ourselves in front of them no matter what they do to us

TOPIC SHIFT Me: “I keep trying to write heartfelt ballads and wind up writing lively bouncy tunes.” Her: “This is not necessarily a bad thing.”

I blame this burst of posts upon current events and last night’s dinner.

A great deal of what we’re hearing from the right-wing grifterverse is the sudden reality that words can in fact have consequences and not just as a source of income.

He died as he lived, a gratuitous negative example which no one asked for.

Gotta gig in Kerrville this weekend at a “First Saturdays” event! Swing by the Hillspire Academy of Dance - on Water Streeet - Between 8pm and 10pm for Cowboy Poetry, Dance, Legends, and also Tobias the Adequate playing his goofy songs on his new BIG GREEN BANJOLELE~

MORE ALIVE THAN DONALD TRUMP

for the SAKE of FUCK remember that the Enragement Farmers and doofbots are HERE on Bluesky as well. For example... not the actual Wikipedia page.

GAWD DAMMIT the INTERNET OUTRAGE ECONOMY is EX-HAUS-TING and I'm saying each syllable of that word like the World's Angriest Jordie, PAC.

It is entirely possible to cheer Gavin Newsom pWning MAGA in social media posts AND planning to introduce Stephen Miller to my friend Mr. Lead Pipe in a dark alley because human being are often capable of having more than one thought at a time. Also: it's always good to have continencies.

Playing a steel-string uke is novel

t-shirt cannons can hold submarine sandwiches. this is now a thing you know.

Two nights ago Night Time Matthew decided that after he took his evening meds, he would then set up his Morning Meds in the Meds shotglass for Tomorrow Morning Matthew...

If your parents read the book, the odds are good you wound up reading the book and you wound up being given the lunchbox. The 70's were quite the decade.

On behalf of Mike Nesmith, Save the Texas / Oklahoma Prairie Chicken (bgawk)

Hello. I am seeking the Peanut Butter Cookies thank you very much.

I'll be honest, it's entirely inappropriate for the actual topic but my first reaction was WHAT DO YOU *MEAN* 'WHAT DOES ULTRASENSITIVE REALLY MEAN?'??!??!?

HEY HEY HEY BRING DONUTS TO DC LOTS OF DONUTS ON THE STREETCORNER DONUTS FIGHT FIRE WITH MARSHMALLOWS

if there is a choice between being edgy and being silly, I shall persist in my silliness