Aside from not giving a fuck about poor people, this was a big reason why I didn’t publicize that we’d be taking ERAP applications again.

Please note that our Landlord Assistance Portal never closes. Call DHCD and become a LAPdog today!

Look, I know something about elevating sex pests to positions of authority, and what’s being alleged here is rather tame

Ugh, staff is telling me that I need to say something about the ERAP portal being open for applications tomorrow, so here it is.

We’re in a tough budget environment and we all need to make sacrifices, which is why I will continue to post what amount to taxpayer-funded campaign ads but I’ll make the editing a little shittier.

Can’t say I approve of the emails, but Larry Summers always gave me solid economic development advice

Of course, I couldn’t do this without the vigorous (lol, lmao) oversight from my partners on @councilofdc.bsky.social. Maybe the next strongly worded letter from @chmnmendelson.bsky.social will get things moving in the right direction!

This is why the best way to make policy is to not look at the data. That way we can blame DC’s affordable housing crisis on shiftless tenants who don’t pay rent—and gut tenant rights accordingly—when the problem is actually that the hacks I elevated can’t spend what is essentially free money.

Will Lewis will print whatever you want if you send him a text asking him how he & Bezos feel about having to write “Mayor-elect Lewis George” next year

This is the most underappreciated poster on DC BlueSky

Hell yeah the ribbons at my ribbon cuttings say “RIBBON CUTTING” on them

Sports betting is all over the news lately. Reminds me of the time my administration “negotiated” a $215 million no-bid contract to operate a sports gambling app that generated 1/20 of promised revenues and didn’t work for an entire Super Bowl.

A Safe DC is a Prosperous DC

Please note, collaboration with our Federal law enforcement partners will operate as normal.

Let’s be clear: My receptiveness to having the President’s masked goons and MPD terrorize my constituents and the DOJ investigating me for bribery have absolutely nothing to do with one another, and it is a scurrilous lie to say otherwise.

Janeese will take away our low-number tags, this is a 5 alarm fire folks

I was standing up to Trump before it was cool.

I don’t see anything tonight to show that people aren’t still looking for a pragmatic, pro-growth Democrat to stay the course in uncertain times.

I don’t see eye-to-eye with President Trump all the time, but one thing we are in lockstep on is the knowledge that if you, in word and deed, tell the people with the most power to stop you to fuck off into the sun, they will dutifully comply.

Maryland and Virginia drivers, you spoke and we listened—the DC streetcar is being taken out of service ahead of schedule! 🎉

My approach to policymaking is straightforward: Are you a working class person in need of some help? Well you can get fucked. Do you own a business? Here are a range of options to bolster your bottom line, let us know what what works best for you.

unquestionably the 2nd best thing about running DC is that the worse things get for ordinary people, the more we bend over backwards to favor the wealthy and connected (the best thing will be the obscenely lavish sinecure I get when this is over)

The Council debate on exempting 2-4 unit buildings from TOPA is going exactly how I like it: with minimal data & public involvement and an outcome that favors corporate landlords

There’s only 1 king I acknowledge—the local business community!

If you’re a landlord having trouble evicting a tenant, please reach out—the DC Government is here for you!

Good news stories are so hard to find these days

I KNOW they did not cut a ribbon in the District of Columbia without me

With 700,000 potential customers, DC is a great place to locate your business!

Love to see a great DC business in the news! www.nytimes.com/2025/09/20/u...

ngl the thought of jamming that golden shovel into the earth at RFK is downright erotic

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

You see an occupying force. I see a bunch of new customers for Downtown DC’s great fast-casual dining spots.

Sick of hearing that I am missing in action when I have cut 3 ribbons this month *so far*

Sir, I promise you this won’t be necessary.

The President’s control over MPD expires today, but I give you my word that you will not be able to tell that anything has changed

Folks, it would be great if we could do this in DC but we kinda shot our wad to build a football stadium for a billionaire. Looks like my skeets about how great DCPS is will have to do for now.

Always Be Cutting (ribbons)

Mendo’s useful at times (stadiums, no tax hikes on the rich, etc.) but the man’s obsession with writing letters is really something else. Nobody cares, bro

I played nice with the fascists and all I got was a 2-month extension of the National Guard occupation of DC

When I say protecting Home Rule is “our North Star,” I mean exactly that: a once-useful tool that has become a quaint metaphor & has been replaced with better tools, in our case, growing the economy via tax incentives for businesses.

I want to be crystal clear about this, before anyone blows things out of proportion: yes, we have the money to give 13% raises to cops who don’t live here, and no, we don’t have the money for rapid rehousing to provide shelter for people who do.

I think most folks would agree that my political instincts are pretty solid, yet for reasons even I cannot begin to fathom I am committed to fucking this chicken in the worst way possible

Well, I had a long weekend to think about it and I’m back to complying in advance bsky.app/profile/mayo...

Our North Star is protecting Home Rule and the District's autonomy. That’s why I am no longer complying in advance but simply complying on time.

All the tumult of the past few weeks has got me feeling nostalgic for the good times

Look, I get it: having masked goons arbitrarily disappearing friends and neighbors off our streets is concerning to say the least. But look on the bright side—if you’re still here in 2030, the Commanders will be too!

I have to say, she does give me a run for my money

Think I’ve found my message for next year’s campaign—you don’t run 3 successful mayoral campaigns in a row without knowing how to spot a winner #DistrictOfCorporations

It has come to my attention that the images below do not prominently state “Muriel E. Bowser, Mayor.” We have taken immediate corrective action and debarred this vendor from receiving any more publishing contracts.

I said we had a positive relationship with our Federal law enforcement partners. I never said it was perfect.