:/

got flū & c0v1d shots last night and my arm hurts still out was so annoying to sleep

stir fry place 2nite!!

day dreaming abt losing 10lbs in two weeks

I'm so bloated that the pants I had plans to add belt loops for are fitting well enough with out the alterations and I !!! 🙃💀

saw the skīnniest girl while I was out earlier I'm still thinking about it

I am finally losing again but it's going so slowly ugh

I am having the worst sh urges :/

woke up feeling haunted

keep thinking about the dream I had last night

new gym program is brutal the work out Saturday absolutely exhausted my hip and yesterday's workout did not help at all it is so sore and doesn't seem to be getting better

woke up from a weird dream and been having a weird day abt it

told my trainer I wanna lose weight which like yay! but also boo bc now I def can't ⭐ve (as if I was successfully even doing that)

snacky lunch

the plan is pizzas for dinner at least I know before hand

omg I get to see my trainer again and complain that all of my joints feel like they're trying to slide around pls help me fix them

gonna hopefully get some steps in after work as long as I don't talk myself out of it

hoping to start fasting earlier tonight but so go until noon ish tomorrow

😬

sometimes I start typing up a post and want to scream bc I feel like I'm over explaining myself and it's literally not that deep but also it's my page no one cares if I yap that much

need to start going to the gym a fourth day a week but like ://////

do we think my cāt will ever figure out that just bc he CAN step on top of everything on my desk doesn't mean that he should ???

🫡

if u saw my typos no u didn't

thx u wrk meetings for making it so I can't even try and eat yet

kms trying to find something to eat tonight that's not a million cals

dinner was a fancy protein shake I got for free at the gym bc I did join my friends and sign up for training bc they decided on the trainer I like and I also was no longer cranky and remembered I wld rly like someone to check my form again

so pissy bc our gym schedule has been messed up bc our friends are tagging along and my brain cannot stand the schedule change and now my husb wants to add training sessions on again and I literally cannot fathom being perceived rn (I cld maybe handle my old trainer but idk if that's who's it would

💀💀💀 saw myself in the mirror 💀💀💀

want to go back to IF but our gym schedule has been wack and one day last week I literally had dinner at like 8 pm which is when I'd want to drop eating by

unfortunately I need to go back to ⭐ving myself ! desperately! like immediately

procrastinating at work again someone end me

spent too long at the gym don't wanna eat dinner just wanna shower and go to bed

I can't imagine working this week fuck

still snacky unfortunately

I literally just need to get up and do SOMEthing literally ANY thing so my brain will quiet down but choosing feels like an impossible task and I'd rather just take a permanent nap

wish my brain would just turn off none of this matters

I should've asked u guys abt his current issue I bet it would've been faster smh

husb needed to go to the ûrgent care and asked me to come w and I was like I wld rather do my normal routine post gym but if u want me to I can so here I am but he ,,, didn't have me come back w him and it's been like an hr so like what was the point I could be showered by now :/

had a weird week and it doesn't want to end

I used to be hot and almost skinny I can't believe I ruined it all lmao

gonna keep trying to have a pr0tein shake every day but otherwise I think I'm gonna stop focusing so hard on it it's making me feel like a failure bc without planning out my whole week (which is next to impossible) I'm basically never hitting as much as I want

fuck I have to stop eating

I downloaded a new calorie tracking app to try ! don't know how to feel about that

everything is pissing me off I wish I wld just starve myself instead of trying to be healthy or whatever

anyway lol

is my back pain ?? spinal subluxation???

just remembered my friends don't hate me and want to do things with me and I'm not a burden ! wild !