The next fireball will be directed at your head.

The dead shouldn't be allowed to vote.

Then you should not have raised them. This is your own doing.

( Burdened with not telling anyone that he can't eat normal food. An undead smoothie? He can't even eat a regular smoothie! ) guh

( One hundred fireballs. At the zombies as fast as they pop up. ) I said don't do that.

Gorgon I literally can't.

You were NOT supposed to hear that.

Do NOT make that happen.

... Between you and me ... The reason I hate the undead so much ... ... Is because I cannot eat them. And because they often impede my ability to eat. Such is the case of vampires especially, who do not know how to share.

I just got called a hippie. My reputation is finally recovering.

I fear no corpse.

( He's flying away. )

// This shit is so funny bro

Servant Merlin has B strength. This is the real deal.

Wuh-oh. That wasn't a part of the deal.

( Backhands him with three times the force of a jet taking off. )

You wanna find out?

I would smack you across this room, I guess.

Dead-er. You just said dead vampire yourself, don't be obtuse.

Not even a little birthday party? Congratulations on 1,000 years? Tough. Better dead than bored out of one's mind, at that point.

How exciting. They should try being nice to eachother as a surprise.

"You really can't tell, can you? No clue what Van-Fem was thinking letting that guy get that strong. Must be something I'm missing."

"You do not want to get involved with vampire politics, it is all so mind numbingly boring."

"He's one of Vandelstam's? You really couldn't tell just by looking. That does change things..."

// If you call Merlin a human or an elf he's not going to correct you. He's just going to along with it.

"It is obedience to power, one greater than themselves. I find that remarkably understandable, even if I don't hold such beliefs. In the name of their beliefs, they will do even that which is impossible. Do you not find that horribly fascinating? I have never seen tenacity quite like it."

( Running away. )

Give me two weeks and I'll remedy that.

Nowhere.

Is that Gorgon.

WHAT THE FUCK

"THERE ARE NO SPAWN, I HAVE NO CHILDREN."

"You did. It's called my entire life story. It's okay, we'll catch up in time. Chapter 1: The Beginning of Camelot. Also known as, that time I manipulated humanity for fun."

"I don't have any children."

( Curse of clairvoyance ) Why are those your cue cards.

"Not really helping at all actually."

❝ Deadbeat parental figures? Finally, a topic I can enjoy~! ❞

NEW TOPIC EVERYBODY CHOOSE A NEW TOPIC

I can't hear you over the sound of me emptying my third bottle.

( This guy's an expert on being a deadbeat parent. )

The same thing that's wrong with deadbeat fathers.

Oh. (It's been. Seven years.)

"And why is that?" He's donned a grin, now. It's something he tries not to do, but he really can't help it. Ghirahim just spoke the magic words.

He means Ana.

I drink, mostly. And get mad at people on the internet.

I won't be around on White Day. They're gonna try to get me in a half naked photo with Oberon.

"Nothing in particular. I am apologizing for assaulting your nostrils, and extending an olive branch." He says this, but the flowers only grow in number beneath him, worsening the problem. "Perhaps we can both leave this interaction with a better opinion of eachother than when we started."

"You celebrated your birthday... Alone?" He... Frowns. "Come here, we must correct this at once. You have given me quite the time limit, but I'm certain I can make you a gift to surpass even your grandest expectations!"

"Of course. I can make you some tea, if you'd like."

He's idly watching this all like it's a performance put on for HIM specifically. His favorite genre was always drama.