A lot of polyamorous people will NOT like what I have to say about this, but…your partner is unfortunately allowed to make the choice to be in shitty, toxic, and even abusive relationships.

when I meet a polyamorous person who clearly communicates their expectations, respects my boundaries, and knows how to manage their time and energy

'Freedom' in polyamory doesn't mean 'doing whatever you want without consequences'. We are 'free' in the sense that we have AGENCY and CHOICE to customise our relationships according to what feels good to the people involved.

If you’re trying polyamory specifically because you want to “trade up” and find a better monogamous partner while keeping your existing partner around as a safety net in case you fail so you never have to be alone...that's not polyamory, that's called monkey branching.

polyamorous person: I’m really struggling in my relationship! society: hm well it’s your fault cuz polyamory never works, maybe just be normal polyamorous person: I’m really happy in my relationship! society: impossible. you must be lying. or being manipulated. you need help

polyamorous folks, what is the name of your polycule group chat and why is it “polycool”, “polycute”, or “polycult”

If you're not subscribed to @polyphiliablog.bsky.social 's newsletter you should strongly consider doing so. www.polyphilia.blog

We live in a ragebait economy where most people are more interested in mess, drama, and confirming their existing biases than learning about healthy polyamorous relationships.

to every polyamorous man who says “I only let my bi girlfriend/wife date women because I know she’ll never leave me for a woman” - karma is about to come at you real fast

There are three types of polyamorous people: those who send personalised messages to each of their partners, those who send the same message to all their partners, and those who just text the group chat.

If you are polyamorous and you don’t disclose that in your dating profile (esp on mainstream apps), sure, you’ll probably get more matches and a small ego boost…until you realise the majority of them are monogamous people who aren’t looking for the same thing, and will likely be upset with you.

What do Lily Allen and Lindy West have in common? They're both women who have recently published works that led to the entire internet dunking on the polyamorous community. *sarcastically* YAY! My thoughts as a non-monogamist of 10 years and a polyamory educator of 5...

If someone isn't treating you the way you feel you deserve in your polyamorous relationship despite multiple a) reminders of your needs, b) conversations about boundaries, and c) requests for change, you have put in your fair share of effort already, and they are simply not the person for you.

Relationship orientation exists on a spectrum, so that means someone out there is the Most Polyamorous Person On Earth. It's you 🎉

Hudson Williams being a bisexual polyamorous king according to this Twitter AI summary is sending me 🤣

When I say I don't recommend opening your relationship unless you are genuinely prepared for the relationship to change and potentially to end, this isn't because I think polyamory is bad or doomed to fail. It's because any change involves uncertainty and risk.

I don’t mind couples seeking threesomes on dating apps as long as they are upfront about it. But if you use the woman as bait and sneak the man in the last photo, not only is that predatory creep behaviour, it also tells me you don’t like your partner enough to show them off.

Something we don't talk enough about in polyamory is how there is this subtle pressure not to "rain on your partner's parade" - and that can lead some people to not be fully honest about how they are feeling, even when they REALLY need to be.

In polyamory, with freedom comes responsibility. If you want to connect with multiple people, you also have to be prepared to support multiple people with their emotions, including the difficult ones. Unfortunately, here's where I see this typically go wrong...

Two things can be true at the same time: your partner deserves to be happy about their connections with other people, AND your tender feelings also deserve support and consideration.

Here are the signs that show you may 🚩 lack emotional awareness 🚩 in non-monogamy - and how to fix it 🧵

I had a foursome two nights ago - and last night I found a ring that wasn't mine under my bed. So I texted the three people going "is this your ring?" Reader, the ring did not belong to any of them. So now I need to text at least 6 other people!

If you are polyamorous and looking for long-term connection: learn to be disciplined with your time and energy management, or risk disappointing multiple people at once.

me when I see a straight monogamous vanilla person on Feeld:

As a former semi-successful fanfiction writer: if you’re not writing fanfiction purely for the love of the game, kindly get the fuck off fanfiction sites. Monetising fanfiction is ILLEGAL loser behaviour. Same goes for anyone who “writes” AI fanfiction. Grifters need to fucking stop.

Just because you're struggling IN polyamory, it doesn't mean you're struggling WITH polyamory. You're allowed to find something challenging without it having to mean anything about who you are or what you want.

I want all the “I want two boyfriends who also kiss each other” girlies to know that polyamorous bisexual men exist and you can absolutely make that a reality right now, but you'd better make sure to unpack your internalised biphobia and mononormativity before you attempt ANY of that 💁🏻‍♀️

When you're experiencing challenging emotions in polyamory, here are some phrases you can use to defuse the tension and stay in connection, rather than escalating into further conflict:

If your first reaction to your friend telling you that they're struggling in their polyamorous relationship is “maybe you should just go back to monogamy”, you're being a terrible friend. I said what I said.

I actually disagree with the advice that you should "go at the pace of the slowest person" when you're opening up a monogamous relationship, because hot take: I think that is an approach that panders to mononormativity.

"How do I stop feeling jealous?" is the wrong question to ask. When we feel uncomfortable, it's natural to want the feeling to stop, but this can easily slide into suppressing the emotions, which usually leads to them coming back with even more intensity later on. To avoid this, try these instead:

cold take but to me, the entire point of being an influencer is to a) authentically connect with your audience and b) be creative, so if you’re using generative AI to make your content for you, then you are doing neither of those things and are in it purely for the profit 🤷🏻‍♀️

The best thing you can do for your non-monogamous journey is learn not to take things personally - especially when it comes to what your partner is doing with other people.

Mono-poly relationships are rare, but they can and do work - and, as with any relationship, it highly depends on the people involved. Here are the 5 traits that I see in functional relationships between a monogamous person and a polyamorous person that set them up for long-term happiness:

I've started a new series about KINK on my Patreon, where every month, I talk about one of my many sexual fantasies: what they are, what makes them hot, where they might come from, and how I turn fantasy into reality with my partners. Here's a preview: www.patreon.com/posts/nsfw-i...

You can’t say you want to be polyamorous and then flake on dates whenever you feel like it, have zero consideration for your partners’ feelings and needs, get defensive when they try to communicate with you, and bail as soon as things start to feel inconvenient or uncomfortable. I said what I said 🤷🏻‍♀️

a real text that my 17-year-old non-monogamous ass sent in 2016 to my partner:

We all need to get better at recognising and boycotting AI generated content and content “creators” because if I see yet another bunch of short sentences like “No A. No B. Everything is C” followed by “it’s not X, it’s Y” with a bunch of em dashes and generic language I am going to fucking scream.

This is WILD - I just found screenshots of my first ever dating app profile from 2016 while looking for photos to post for a throwback! I made this in October, so I had turned 18 three months before (😱), and I was in my first non-monogamous relationship of 8 months. Would you have swiped right? 🤣

Dan and Phil reacting to Heated Rivalry was my crossover of the century. I am living in the best timeline. My year has been made.

Mononormativity taught us that your partner having other partners is a "one up" on you, that you're the "weak" one being "taken advantage of", "cucked", and perceived as "losing" to them.

7 questions to ask yourself if you're looking to transition to a non-sexual, but still romantic, relationship with a partner:

If you still feel jealous despite having done a ton of research about polyamory, the reason is simple: there's a world of difference between intellectualising and internalising. Your brain might have understood something, but your body hasn't yet. Let me explain...

so having a boyfriend is allegedly “embarrassing” now, but what about two? if they kiss, does it cancel out?

I have a theory that if you are a polyamorous person who grew up with siblings, how you respond to your partner's other partners is directly linked to how you were treated by your parents compared to your other siblings growing up.

If you’re new to non-monogamy, here are 20 polyamorous reminders to start your year right ✨ let me know which one resonates with you the most…

Your polyamorous life doesn’t have to be sunshine and rainbows 100% of the time to be valid or rewarding. You get to decide what is worth it to you 💛☀️

In light of the head of Instagram, Adam Mosseri, posting yesterday that in 2026 "authenticity is becoming infinitely reproducible", this is a friendly reminder that this is an anti-AI account 🤖🚫 and just to be clear: I have NEVER and will NEVER use generative Al to create my content.

Shoutout to all the people who have decided to try non-monogamy for the first time in 2026 💕

Normalise politely rejecting your dates rather than ghosting them, giving mixed messages, or saying you’re not ready for a relationship when that isn’t the truth. It’s ok to say “I didn’t feel a spark but I wish you the best”. Your dates will appreciate your honesty and respect for them.