every hometown’s got the ominous megastructure, what’s yours?

‘I can see why danni matched us’ Danni didn’t do anything girl it was was a casting director from Balham. #ikag

No lyrics for the rose gray song on streaming yet - no one can agree on how to spell ‘chameleon-a’

If you want a good laugh check all your spices for their use by dates. Shout out to the dried dill which expired in 2019.

Love when people do the bit that they thought my next birthday was going to be 21. Honestly never gets old. Shout out to my office’s cleaner Anna.

Does ACAB include slayers?

Not the Jess Glynn holiday song on the office stereo

All I need to know from my weather app is whether it’s hotter or colder than yesterday

‘Life lately’

How many endangered frogs do you think sir David has ingested to make it to 100

Wearing yellow today, they’ll think I’m a Lib Dem.

Jsut love in noughties legal dramas where the judge refers to a line of questioning as a ‘fishing expedition’ can any lawyers confirm whether this happens irl?

Resigned to the fact that Lana bond is April’s most played track. Shall we play?

Have been sat next to 3 different people on this train and all of them snapchatting

Mrs Hat flashback when?

So nice to wake up dreaming about japes with my best friends Christian Siriano and Garak

Just passed a dead ringer for Timmy Chally but let’s be honest it’s probably too close to Sadlers Wells

Fairly confident that I am not a societal villian but if Louis Theroux asked to interview me I’d probably err on the side of saying no just in case.

So let me get this straight the federation is facing a venereal threat

Do you think that Katy Perry actually liked kissing a girl that much? (Just came on shuffle and sounds like a real relic.)

Tonight’s restaurant told us they couldn’t leave the water carafe on the table because the owner didn’t like it. Wouldn’t have been so annoying if the water glasses weren’t thimbles!

Where can I get the green lost Mary’s that Lee pace is hoofing in foundation season 3?

Sorry but how has no one done a jacket potato full English combo before

Not the child I just passed asking his dad ‘who was England against in the last world war’ like he’s prepping for the next one

Lana releasing something so dumb and unlistenable makes me like her marginally more.

New drag king name Jacob Rees Mogging

'Being detained at your brother's pleasure' will never not be funny

Whoever started the trend of doing only the new album at concerts and paying dust to the greatest hits… I just wanna talk ok.

Sorry but sleeping has all the hallmarks of an addiction. - the more you have the more you want - extreme cases likely to let it affect social life.

Let the old one on The Boyfriend speak a single line challenge.

Not one to grumble about weather as a rule but this relentless wet and dark period is really inflicting maximum psychic damage.

Can’t believe I waited for a woman to invite me to tag along to one of London’s more notorious cruising spots.

Happy for usher and Kendrick and benito but can the Super Bowl people please remember some womens @s next year

Omg has Santa Bunny been?

Mariah singing a Eurovision song at the Olympics could maybe have finally gotten me on board with her if it had happened 5 years ago.

Apple Music really gatekeeping replay 2026 huh

Ben said that the starfleet academy theme tune should be Paris Hilton - bad bitch academy and I’m obsessed.

Sorry but Hudson is kinda reheating me and Charlie’s nachos

I could have been enthused about the VB #1 campaign if had coalesced around This Groove

Referring to people flying in economy as ‘peasants’? It’s an easy unfollow for me.

Went on the website where Stephen traitors got his jumpsuits and literally every item was £400

2026 wardrobe policy is: no more sensible restrained basics. Only statement pieces to make up my 12 traitors looks #thetraitors

Me still posting holiday content to insta

Fascinated as to what made this guy ditch these crocs in the station toilet, and wondering if it’s related to the lack of either hose or toilet paper

In the 2010s, the Icelandic tv station Channel 2 accidentally added subtitles from a gritty crime drama to an episode of Teletubbies. I have translated some of the highlights

New drag name - Brandy Beckham

Sorry but shakira in character as gazelle wearing her antlers in the zoo video is sending me.

Who’s Madeline? - everyone watching the bake off final.

Giving last nights chef some streams today after this slapped last night.