a very happy birthday to you my beautiful friend @sasscarpone.bsky.social I'm sorry I didn't send you a box of pudding this time but I promise you a Christmas punch!

Halloween is coming. Stay vigilant 😤

moisturized, unbothered, and in my bed

problem: dropped favorite pink hair tie slightly out of reach of mom's arm from the bath cat solution: bring second-favorite purple hair tie question: still no throw??

I got flu + covid shots Friday afternoon and for the first time got them in the same arm instead of one in each and woooow my arm is still pretty tender at the injection area 3 days later. Think I'm going back to 1 per arm next year 😩

If you live in Everett, Mass. and have any information about the 13-year-old boy abducted by ICE, please message me on Signal at marisakabas.04

when nobody ordered you anything from the ramen place

evil in friend shape

oh hey @michaelengel.bsky.social was it you that was looking for cozy mysteries?

got asked to help with a targeted review of training materials. open course 1 and at the top, in 96pt font, larger even than the course title, it says, boldly and proudly: WHY THIS COURSE MATTER?

this is how it feels for people who don't follow baseball at the beginning of the season, except swap "hours" for "months". there are four thousand games. it does not matter what day of the week nor what time of day it is, it is on. there is no logic here

MOST unusual, sharply color-zoned slice of amethyst from a bizarre stalactitic growth. This was found in India Photo: Rob Lavinsky Cc #minerals #crystals

Humble

apparently now that I'm 43 I've become the kind of person who makes jokes about typography. this is an unsettling discovery

so my son has developed a new, even weirder way to sit

just discovered that ai has now been shoveled into Google calendar and decided to set up an appointment booking slate and a one-click link for people to book 30-minute blocks with me with no explanation, and was trying to go through my contacts and send invites to people it thinks I should meet with

I slept shitty the past 2 nights and it feels like trying to limp through the day starting at 10 HP or something. An email could one-shot me rn

Your periodic reminder that you have the right to find out why your health insurer denied your claim. We built a tool to help you do it: projects.propublica.org/claimfile/

it would be cool if this could go somewhere other than Kansas City, MO or Kansas City, KS

2/3 meetings today cancelled. Staring hard at that 3rd one on the calendar trying to manifest

goooood morning it is crisp and bright out there, and this little lady had a nice long jaunt where she could see her breath the whole time so yes: Lucy Loved That Walk

friends in PA, if you or someone you care for receives SNAP benefits, just a reminder that there are some new requirements for receiving benefits that started September 1 clsphila.org/highlights/c...

I stg every day I find an account on here that I could've sworn I was already following but somehow am not

can't wait to see how trying to wage theft furloughed federal workers is going to go for them. go on. do it. touch that burner

I'm not reading this drivel but I don't have to to know that whatever it says, the answer is, "so close! the answer is: like 2 asshole white dudes own all media now and they don't care about things like truth, or talent, or integrity"

there are only so many more headlines I can read that boil down to essentially "we have decided to do this terrible thing that will [destroy priceless natural preserves/make millions of people poorer] so a single billionaire can have even more money" before I just absolutely snap

he also, as I said earlier, and would like to reiterate, looks like a sentient boiled hot dog

Vampire is available to adopt in LA or Orange County! 2 weeks ago I found a small kitten trapped in the middle of a busy intersection. Now she's 6 weeks and ready to find her forever home. Adoption application available on VIDA. Dm if you have questions about her! www.petfinder.com/cat/vampire-...

In honor of spooky season, one of our gifts with purchase is a Full-Sized (7.2oz) Hocus Pocus candle 🎃🧙🏻‍♀️🤩 effingcandleco.com/collections/...

the rare dual loaf formation

why I oughta

River has been accused of chewing on my mom's tablet case. What do we think folks

why is this one definition so specific? Pennsylvania are you ok?

Oracle employees who expressed support for Palestine were "referred to internal mental health resources." Oracle is about to own TikTok.

how sure are we at this point that "jay" is not short for Joanne? idk the digging in of the heels and the escalation when you could just fuck off to a castle full of cats somewhere for eternity is feeling so familiar for some reason

literally got a tear of pure joy yesterday reading that Reading Rainbow is coming back and that Mychal is hosting it 🥲

goooood morning it is grim and cool outside, but not in the heart of this happy young lady because oh yes: Lucy Loved That Walk

my single meeting for the day was just canceled 🥳

I am 43 now and if you want to look like me instead all you have to do is: *be gay (or bi) + minor crimes *recreational drugs *sunscreen

used various breaks from the laptop to clean out jars and finally pour refills of Kansas City AF, my *last* Effing Peachy (😭😭😭), and Fir Fuck's Sake. Live look at me for the next 72h:

Mr. Autumn Man Walking Down Street With Cup Of Coffee, Wearing Sweater Over Plaid Collared Shirt https://theonion.com/mr-autumn-man-walking-down-street-with-cup-of-coffee-1819574012/

like Mark Sanchez, whom I remember not for anything he did to produce over 700 fantasy points, but for being the guy who gave us the buttfumble, and for being so bad at sliding they brought in the Yankees to try and teach him how, Copilot will probably also be remembered primarily for its mistakes

You should be able to invite dogs and cats to your birthday party instead of people

since it is my birthday I got to go outside for an enrichment activity

I am told his name is River Boone because my niece wanted to name him for his eyes and the boys wanted to name him for Daniel Boone and no one would concede

everyone needs to see my brother's new puppy

you simply cannot imagine how difficult his life is

did not know there was a new Neko Case album today!!

I wish when you hit a paywalled news article that in addition to a button that says "subscribe for only 1.99" or whatever there was also a button that lets you indicate, "no thanks, you can eat my entire ass, I will go read this somewhere else"