YALL THEY DID IT, I HAD A MASTECTOMY TO JUVENILE

He got a bath

[opens Facebook during the holiday season, thanks the gods that I don't have any children, closes Facebook]

you think my surgical team will play juvenile as I'm put under? I want to go under the intro string plucks of back that azz up

i turned to alice wong so much this year. what a loss.

as someone who grew up in new orleans and has spent the past 18 years in new york... does anyone know what it's like to have a good mayor

Finished chemo yesterday, Mamdani wins today, LFGGGGGGGG

who knew n@z!s would so closely resemble the goon villains in a movie whose hero is a golden retriever who plays sports

If Isaac Chotiner ever said to me “I’m just still trying to understand,” I’d jump out the nearest window.

cancer is so fkng tedious I am so tired of going to appointments and I miss being pretty

every time i go in for chemo I am asked if I've had an exposure to measles and I'm like lol?? probably at this point??

Come listen to me and some pals read at Unnameable Books in Brooklyn tomorrow at 7 to celebrate the fact that I have less than a month left of working full time through chemo!

Have you ever tried to bake and gotten cocoa powder all over your dog? No? Cool me neither

few things more humbling to a writer than GoogleDoc's default font of Arial

male friend asked me who Eve Babitz is and I said “Bret Easton Ellis for girls”

today at Rockaway Beach I had to chase down a seagull after it rifled through someone's unattended bag and flew away with their wallet

Not me turning into my mother by asking “why is someone wearing a tshirt at the Carlyle”

i just tried to make pancakes with protein powder and am here to tell you there's more to life than this and you should move on from considering such a thing

the target treatment that is giving me a chance of being alive in 5 years was only developed in 2005, when i was in high school whatever cancer you will inevitably have in 10, 20, 30 years depends entirely on what is happening right now

i have been of course horrified by all aspects of this genocide, but the mechanics of starvation described here literally make me ashamed to be human

every time someone tells me "you're handling this SO well" re: cancer I've invariably just said something to a hospital administrator that has probably landed me on a government watch list

Instagram is so hellbent on showing me ways to make “ice cream” from a banana as if I could ever believe it was anything other than mashed banana prepared for a 6 month old. How do I tell the algorithm that I am capable of chewing

bad day to have a human body but a GREAT day to have voted for Zohran Mamdani

chemo round 1 of 16 done one week ago I was doing this; I feel like if I could do this at one point then my body can maybe, just maybe, tolerate the next 15

a great way to not think about politics is to get diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer in your mid 30s Anyway I got my eyebrows microbladed ahead of doing chemo and now I keep catching myself in the mirror wondering who that Jonas brother is good vibes welcome

"I was not lonely/online alone with myself/begging myself not to leave my own body/but I am leaving...How do you say goodbye to yourself?"- Eurydice, Sarah Ruhl

having a fantastic eye conversation with the stranger across from me on the subway re: the person next to me fully mixing and eating an entire curry platter with real silverware

having a corporeal form is so dumb and annoying. i would make an EXCELLENT ghost.

the way that this has escalated post-COVID lockdown should be studied

Count on TJ Maxx to have the last thing you’d ever need in your house

haunting nyc restaurant subreddits to comment OYSTERS ARE NOT A SUMMER FOOD bc god gave me a calling

Don’t ask a woman to cut her birthday cake in these conditions

if you are ever hurt about a man not texting you back, remember that men will literally rise from the dead to avoid you visiting their tomb

my mother asked me if i wanted anything for my birthday which she now surely regrets as i asked for italian citizenship and am now grilling her about possible variations on my great-grandfather's name from the ellis island ship manifests

something especially foreboding about getting a Groupon email for SeaWorld in these times

oh yeah i'm sure watching Black Mirror will make me feel better

How they look at me while Kidfluemcers is playing and they need to make a point about how they are starving

after years of not using it, refreshing FB to find out how my conservative female relatives in the south will defend the possibility of losing their right to vote

i have seen enough of Kidfluencers that I now need to fire a g*n

Partiful is ruining my life. I’m an introvert and wasn’t meant to be accountable to this many social plans

i may be turning thirty-ahemfoehfoaeuajfcough in a couple weeks but i did get carded for a single glass of wine at a restaurant shortly after a man tried to pick me up in the elevator of a Days Inn in the suburbs of DC so apparently my skin is holding up despite the Horrors

the Dying for Sex ugly cry I’m having

People thing HR is a lot of things but mostly it’s delivering David Mamet lines in a Disney Princess tone

living alone means no one is around to stop me from talking to my pets in Parker Posey's White Lotus accent

You can totally see how this mf bankrupted a casino.

i have never wanted to have children but feel like it will be critical for my character development in middle age to have a gay son

Hundreds of international students have just received an email telling them their visas have been revoked. The ‘justification’ is campus activism or social media posts. timesofindia.indiatimes.com/world/us/hun...

see also: how New Orleans' secondary education system has been function for the past century

i've dated so many Sagittarians that my therapist now believes in astrology, you're welcome weird girlies

"The only person to reply to the update from Hegseth was the person identified as the vice president. 'I will say a prayer for victory,' Vance wrote. (Two other users subsequently added prayer emoji.)" the prayer emoji is SENDING me