they want me on a mood stabilizer but the last one i took gave me ✨psychosis✨ so i’m not very willing to try again.

maybe my brain just hates serotonin??? i’ve been on 7 different meds that work on serotonin and none of them have done anything? is that even possible lol i’ve also been on 9 meds in the past year & genuinely think starting and stopping so much is fucking up my brain moreee

my meds have given me the ability to feel BORED AGAIN which in turn means i’m BEING EVIL AGAIN <3

i wish i wasn’t scared

trying to be normal but my jealousy will probably kiII me at some point (it sure has tried)

there was a BUG in my BED!! uncalled for and unnecessary.

started meds again going to try to actually be consistent & see if these bad boys help me. cause i fear if they don’t i will have to try something more serious

imagine thinking u have something in common with me but it’s actually just ur own personality in a trench coat 🙃 sorry bestie. idk how to be normal about things.

i accidentally trained my therapist to just refer to someone i don’t rlly like as “the asshole” and i’m delighted, probably the best thing i’ve done.

hii im angel :3 ⚠︎disordered individual⚠︎ ♡27♡it/they♡bpd♡anxiety♡ this is my vent acct, i vent on it. pls feel free to block me if you personally find any of the content i post triggering. stay safe <3 ☆MDNI, also i block normalsky accts☆

i have done something horrible to my sleep schedule

how tf am i losing in a competition that no one else even knows exists

the psychiatrist that almost kiIIed me did in fact get in trouble, idk what is actually being done, but my dr told me they actually are seriously looking into it :3 also he needs to try to find me a new psychiatrist now (which is significantly harder since he doesn’t wanna go back to the same ppl)

the n0n-d!s0rdered “friend” who always points out the caIor!es of what ppl are ordering?? like damn tbh i WAS already aware and now!! just wont ꫀat. also half the time he doesn’t even get f00d so i feel even worse about it!!!

doing surgery on a strawberry.

chat i gotta lock back in fr 😭😭😭😭😭

also!!! my partner made sure i was safe to the best of their ability, apparently we left right after we arrived (or maybe don’t even go in? idk im bit lost as well

damn bitch get a fucking journal o something 😭 trying to piece together my weekend but i didn’t leave enough bread crumbs lmao

okay so i’ve figured out the HOW but not the WHY im physically fine & alive, but idk what i took or like whyyy

trying to piece together wtf happened to me but i can’t figure out what ACTUALLY tiggered me bruh also im okay, just don’t know why ive done this to myself

i just straight up don’t remember yesterday!!!! so that’s crazy

i was sleeping for so long i missed a day and now im extremely scared!!!!!!!

chat i hate it when to tell a story and everyone’s looking on in horror lmao

good day would be great but uh idk if good day possible

no one gives a single shit about me, why did i talk when im told actually just shutting up would be better.

i just want 2 be included wtf

why do ppl just act like i don’t exist lol no wonder i am shocked and confused when someone actually talks directly to me. like oh! typically im treated as less than human!!

is my therapist supposed to tell me i’m her most mentally ill client, like i didn’t know this was a competition but i am glad to know im winning at least lmaoo

i’m so scared to be rude to them but i feel like they should have genuinely communicated more clearly cause the dr and the receptionist gave me fully different answers and them being disorganized is not my fault. and this is not the first time it’s happened either 🙃

told by my dr he would call me in 2 weeks, it’s been a month & his receptionist is rlly mean to me every time i email like girl it’s not my fault??? i just let me meds run out cause i was scared of talking to her and now she said i have to wait another ✨month✨ wtf

i hate being to scared to join conversations like i feel so bad just sitting silent but also im scared of talking (makes me wanna do drvgs or dr1nk about it but also i lost like months to not remembering last year & i hatee not remembering)

i think i’ve been s0ber more days in 2026 than i was in all of 2025

convinced i ga1ned like a bunch, especially cause last time i checked i was rlly sick // but checked today & actually LOST wth a win is a win, now imagine if i put in like the tiniest bit of effort. shout out the pants that literally fell off me, wouldn’t have checked without ur encouragement.

online cancelation is the best invention to come to therapy lmaooo

i love absolutely torturing myself cause someone ELSE pissed me off what’s wrong w me lol

like my ribs are not being displaced just for me to still be viewed as a girl cause i would rather fucking d!e!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i’d be unstoppable if it weren’t for the loose skin / sorry i haven’t been very active here

flight was ✨cancelled✨got rebooked but only had the choice of a middle seat or paying more to sit in the emergency exit??? why tf would i pay more to have to be responsible in an emergency? (i think it’s cause u get a tiny bit more room but $80 to not have to sit in the middle is crazy)

it’s so annoying to be nauseous all the time. i only feel fine when i lay in bed.

weird dog in the corner (me)

in 2025 i lost 70 £bs wtf also sorry for not posting i have been doing v bad and also quitting drvgs that aren’t weed which is probably good but!! i am scared all the time lol

my goals have no meaning yet we persist crazy what things will trigger u.

i made a play list of songs i relate to (i was gonna give it to my therapist cause she didn’t know any of my wrapped artists) but turns out i just made the most fucking depressing playlist?????

my therapist suggestion for a safety plan makes no fucking sense and i don’t get it? i can’t afford $100 a season to be told to put away sharp objects and go to a friends house like i don’t get it? i want actual help to live a normal life, i can’t work i just wanna d!e. & running out of drvgs

i never updated, but i did get some and the rest of the night was chill :3

i need a dab so bad

i made it festive! sorry it’s so late lol

the people didn’t listen & now i’m crying again.

people r just not allowed to have fun without me i guess