God, who can be arsed w this nonsense for what’s basically a Sunday lunch 🙄

I’m making a pilaf and it’s going to be an unmitigated disaster as i didn’t read the water quantity 😂

My Dad died 19 years ago and I have done fuck all in those 19 years. What a legacy to leave.

I increasingly think there’s only two people in the world who get me. And one is dead 😰

What are your failsafe dishes for when you have people over for dinner?

Lilibet’s: overhyped

Doom scrolling on insta and twice it’s played me a tune mum wants at her funeral and frankly i’m not here for this.

I don’t know if it’s a British cultural thing or an NHS failure thing, or both, but you don’t want to be an elderly person in England.

Can’t believe how excellent After Life is!

Great match. Chuffed for Conor Benn 🥊

I just saw an Age UK ad and now i’m bawling my eyes out.

Came home to find a parcel delivered by Evri. Damaged and (vintage therefore irreplaceable) contents broken. C***S.

Had my biennial haircut today. But with a proper curly cut. I don’t look like me at all because: product. But at least I finally have a proper cut. I was so stressed about it I flushed red the entire two hours.

For the love of god, the ‘nigel and his ridiculous wife’ story on Eastenders needs to die.

Two series down of After Life. Big, ugly tears.

I’m watching After Life. Better late than never!

I went to East Dulwich to buy wine. ED is very nice!

The absolute irony of influenzas whining about being banned from Borough Market saying it needs them when it was a far better, ‘real’ market long before the likes of Insta and tiktok even existed!

Hello! Where is the “saved” tab please? I can’t find it anywhere 😡

Traitors is HILARIOUS! Never seen it before 😂😂

Where do saved posts go please?!!

Grgg Wllce has reinvented himself as a fitness guru. The videos are so unbelievably low rent even I’m starting to feel sorry him

Husband said my crumble wasn’t as good as his Mum’s. He is now dead.

Can I use eating apples in a crumble? Just discovered Mum has an apple hedge bursting w what look like Braeburns…

FFS my husband just told me he doesn’t know what Hammer Time is!! 🥱

Overhead a parent calling after their toddler son….Gilbert. Poor kid 🫣

Is there a global sardine shortage?! Have tried 5 supermarkets in the last month and no boneless sardines to be found. Ditto sild.

I’m meeting a friend I haven’t seen in 30 years!

People who never engage with you on social media and then come out of the woodwork to criticise something can frankly eff off.

Why do politicians feel the need to parade their spouses around? It’s so nauseatingly smug. As if you’re not wholesome unless married. Twats.

WTF is this Bliar plan???

For the love of God, why is every sodding Instagram post accompanied by music?! See also: food people thinking we want to see them shoving food in their gobs and chewing like a broken toilet macerator 😡

Just read that exposé of Victor Garvey (of Sola) 🍿

How come Europeans cope with ID cards but there is always a big brouhaha when there’s talk of them in the UK?

I really should do some gardening but just want to vegetate.

Jamie Oliver’s son has a cookbook out is it? 🤔

Dessert mode ACTIVATE: Best pie: Apple & blackberry Best ice cream: Raspberry ripple Best doughnut: custard Best bar: No idea Best cake: Lemon drizzle or some kind of citrus almond polenta cake Best other: Rhubarb Bakewell tart

I’ve started following this random guy on Insta. He lives in a ‘basso’ in Naples (one room apartment, no windows) and he is such a joy!! He just posts reels about his breakfast, his new bin etc. i’m obsessed!

Friends! I have THREE out of date tins of yeast. Do they lose all efficacy? My cupboards are mad…

You know what else sucks arse? I have to walk to platform 17 at Clapham Junction to “touch in” and then walk to platform 1 to get my train. FML!

Why are oven ‘gloves’ always mittens?! Stupid nonsense.

I’m watching Gomorrah again

I made a polenta & banana cake using two black bananas and some out of date polenta (cooked polenta is vile). It’s very good!

Where’s the moon?!

Lamb breast in the pressure cooker - only 30 mins using @catherinephipps.bsky.social recipe!

Stressful day, friends: 4 hour round trip to deliver a new BP monitor to Mamma so she can report GP (she thought hers was defective). Turns out her BP was just very low. I might have had some wine 🙌🏼

The ‘Summer Roundup’ insta pots make me feel a bit sad because: shit summer. So need to lean into Autumn and try to reclaim some positivity! 🍁

Niche tweet, but this ridiculous psycho John story in Emmerdale needs to fukk right off and end 😫

You know what I love about Neapolitans? You put a photo up on FB looking like an absolute pig and they all reply saying you look beautiful!

Any one can recommend a good film available on Netflix please? 🙏🏼