Your tax dollars at work

What a bummer that Jeff Bezos ran out of money.

Pluribus

Realizing I’m partly funding an ICE agent’s 50k signing bonus really put a damper on the joy of doing my taxes this year

I don’t want any AI ads at the Super Bowl. I want my ads to be pure and uncompromised, the way GoDaddy does it

We're officially fundraising for laid-off Vox workers. Please share and donate if you can! www.gofundme.com/f/support-la...

Just another day running the ol hydraulic book cutting machine

We looked at them with our eyes open

flawed

Remember when Apple put MLK in those Think Different ads? Anyway

“We’ve got to pinch pennies somewhere,” Jeff Bezos says as he eats a yacht for breakfast

Shutting down the government will definitely work this time

Everything about Trump makes sense if you consider his only driving motivation is to leave a mark on history, and he doesn’t care whether it’s good or bad

I want my straight hockey podcasters recapping Heated Rivalry to be in it for the right reasons

I am here for this straight hockey bro podcaster drama

If Shane Hollander drank ginger beer instead of the vastly inferior ginger ale he would have had the courage to step out of the shadows

Finally, the outdoor temperature matches the temperature of my soul

“ICE isn’t the Gestapo. The Gestapo was…” (proceeds to describe qualities that apply to what ICE is currently doing)

People are still out there having kids

I wouldn’t mess with Denmark. Have you ever stepped on a Lego?

Heated Rivalry

Could you not have published this BEFORE we kidnapped the president of a country just to take its oil

They’ll slap Albert Einstein stickin out his tasting organ onto anything

My marble team won the championship

Where’s all that great punk rock we were told to expect

BREAKING: This dog is named Susan From Accounting

As screenwriter of the Labubu movie I want to clear up some misconceptions. Yes, technically they do eat human flesh, but only necrotic tissue around wounds. Doctors use them to clean up injuries and promote positive health outcomes. Labubus are humanity’s allies, except for evil Labubus of course

The ultimate power move is when someone looks at your ID or credit card and thanks you by name

BREAKING NEWS

Pluribus

Well shit. Fact check true.

“an obscene gesture with his middle finger” WHAT GESTURE WAS IT???

How did The Athletic get this scoop?

Little French Jelly Death Match not getting nominated for a Golden Globe is an injustice. Listen here podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/l...

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Take your compliment and shove it where the sun don’t shine

we've reached peak screaming into the void 🗣️🕳️

My favorite product at CES was the thing that puts more hydrogen in your water, because two hydrogen molecules just isn’t enough

Welcome to Las Vegas where Newsmax plays in your taxi cab because we live in hell

I think Wordle ran out of words

My favorite season of Stranger Things was Skeleton Crew

Heated Rivalry but with Wordle Bot and Connections Bot

My New Year’s resolution is to finally take the advice of hot Instagram influencers with abs

Jimmy Carr is a Buffy the Vampire Slayer villain

Heated Rivalry? More like Heated Smile-valry

ONCE THE DAILY DOUBLES HAVE BEEN FOUND YOU CAN DO THE REST OF THE CLUES IN ORDER

Merry Christmas ya filthy jamimals

Catch up before the CHRISTMAS FINAL!!!

I love when a business wishes me a Merry Christmas

If Bari Weiss really cared about the truth she’d rename it 43 Minutes