I’m pooooorly.

Planning my allotment this year and it’s gonna be so cunty when everything is vibrant and green and flourishing while I just soak up the sun surrounded by all the plants I have grown.

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I’m putting off this last set of incline bench press cos I’m scared I might nap if I lay back

Who’s the most famous alum of your high school Ben Hamer (footballer)

Came 3rd at quiz night… Came 3rd at hook up… All around solid performance from yours truly

When it rains in Somerset…

Apple users: since iOS 26.2 have you noticed a MASSIVE decline in battery life?

I used to only be able to do this at like 30kg. I just hit 60kg x 10

Is everyone else so intensely overwhelmed at the world to the point where you want to hide in a cave, or just me?

I need to stop thirst following

I have never used a draft in my life

I. NEED. A. HOLIDAY

I’ve had 4 hrs sleep. That’s enough for a full gym session right?

Gaga said she feel like a Puerto RICKUN in that hair

It's not even midnight and we're already at "Deport Elmo."

Forgot to drink water today and I can tell…

There is something incredibly emotional about DtMF

I love that Bad Bunny is a 2nd Gen Pokémon Stan… “Lugia, Ho-oh, cabròn yo soy legendario”

I was gonna go gym again today but my booty is aching

Excuse the chipped nail polish.

This look was c*nty right?

Nahh cos this should have gone viral amongst the gays

Do ever wonder what it feels like to be a ghost? Anyway. I went to the gym.

Gays. What are your fave jock/thong/gstring brands?

✨ girlie ✨ has returned to my vocabulary. I blame Ally Beardsley in S3 of Fantasy High.

Also wanna do FCF but I’m scared cos what if my cock is too fat

I can’t not read Calvin Klein as Cal Vinkle in

No joke: I got angry hate mail today for writing an obituary of a Black woman scientist—because the person felt she did didn’t deserve the recognition. Which just makes me want to share it again: www.nature.com/articles/d41...

This is how I’m gonna be reacting to most things this year.

Ew ew ew. I just had a realllll icky thing happen to me on Grindr Someone had the audacity to say: “I’m looking to meet tonight, but I don’t think you’re very interesting” AS IF MY PARTNER AND I NEED TO PROVE WHY THEY SHOULD MEET WITH US. EWWWWWWWWWWWWW

I am 100% just about to make garlic bread slices with red pesto and grilled mozzarella for a snack

I’m 400 press-ups behind on the press-up challenge. I have some serious grafting to do

I need to get back to my spring/summer 2025 level of fitness cos the SADs™ made me gain 23lbs (yes that’s right nearly 2stone) of body fat.

Hookup came over last night and came so hard they farted. The way I nearly CRIED with laughter…

Here is an otter snoot to help you through the day.

Very tempted to contribute to humpday pics 👀

I can see a hair on my cheek in my peripheral vision… but when I go to the mirror to find it, it is invisible. I am being gaslit by my own body…

So what I’ve learned from Sundays major leg session is that I don’t train my adductors enough. I. Can’t. Move.

I’m either over tired, or coming down with something, because why am I ugly crying at heated rivalry again. I’ve watched it 30 times at this point…. How am I not desensitised!?

I woke up at 5:45am cos I was hungry

Let’s play a game. I woke up earlier than all my alarms today because… Please leave your answers below

This is the only snoring I’ll accept. (Sound on for cuteness)

Forgot to take a picture at the gym…. But it did happen

Clever ASS is fitting

Okay after today’s gym session it looks so much better

🚨 HORNY KLAXON 🚨

Leg day did not disappoint today

My butt looks great today

Macaulay Culkin pays tribute to ‘Home Alone’ mom Catherine O'Hara: “Mama. I thought we had time. I wanted more. I wanted to sit in a chair next to you. I heard you but I had so much more to say. I love you. l'Il see you later.”