*in the tune of sledgehammer by 5th harmony* If you could smell my gooch right now it would hit you like a sledgehammer.

To make up for lost time. Double helping of gym selfies!

I made it to the gym. Everyone please applaud

Guess what folks. I’m gonna be going back to the gym for the first time in like 5/6 weeks later/tomorrow morning. Normal thotty gym selfies will resume shortly. You are welcome

Do you think our Moon gets jealous of all the other planets’ moon’s names?

Had one. I’m chilled

Literally had a wank 2hrs ago and I’m already horny again

My propbox (box of plant cuttings I’m propagating) is coming along nicely!

Do I pop a gummy after work….

@sentimentbot.bsky.social if you would so kindly review mine, I would be incredibly grateful

It’s feckin freezing this mornin

I just harvested a courgette. It’s 18 inches long…

Fucked so hard last night I bruised my pp

Cash pig just paid for my drinks tonight 🥰

Happy FCF… I just used my partner’s mouth like a fleshlight 🥰🥰🥰🥰

Worst part about fleshlights is the clean up after

Can people stop posting VPL… you’re not helping me

I got out the bath 2 hours ago… I still haven’t got dressed yet…. EVERYTHING HURTS

Do I look happy to have completed the half marathon? No. Will I do it again. Also no. Will I change my mind in a couple weeks when my body stops screaming at me. Probably…

I just finished. My phone said 1:58 but the race time said 2hrs so let’s call it an even 1:59

Okay I’m feral today

Fine. Here’s my submission for #FCF

The Reichstag fire was arson attack on the German parliament in Berlin, four weeks after Adolf Hitler was sworn in. Nazis used it as a pretext to claim that Communists were plotting against the government. This made the fire pivotal in the establishment of Nazi Germany. Matt Forney is a nazi.

Report: American politicians hurriedly clarify they only condone political violence when they fund it against harmless civilians in foreign countries

American Comeback? Nahh he ain’t coming back

Am I lucky or just ignorant… cos who tf is Charlie Kirk

I remember playing this… I feel like I’ve aged faster than i’ver ever aged before

I need a holiday so I can sunbathe naked

Last minute half marathon prep! Missed the thunder and lightning by the skin of my teeth!

Kinda wanna dance around my house naked

The spicy chorizo I ate has come back to haunt me 🥴😥

I’m not being funny… but I think that I should get paid for my most liked comments on other folks’ TikTok videos… I have had multiple comments hit 5 figure likes and I have no reward or recognition for how relatable I am. It’s not fair. I blame labubus x

I just walked in to my partners office to ask if they had a hair band so I can give myself a facial. Walked in the room and remembered “oh yeah, you’re bald now”. 🤦‍♂️ it’s been a long week. 🫩 @ryishere.bsky.social

My quick walk to the pharmacy ended like this

I have just harvested and packaged up ~3000 sunflower seeds from my sunflower heads I grew on the allotment. Bear in mind that I only planted 12 sunflowers myself, and I have only deadheaded…. There are still LOADS left to harvest….

Okay… so very non standard ask from me. I’m running a half marathon in less than 3 weeks and I’d LOVE to raise as much money as possible for Mermaids, a charity that supports trans, non binary and intersex children and young people thrive! (1/6) www.justgiving.com/page/ry-shaw...

Okay I’m over today. Can I go back to bed

My pp has a mind of its own today

Got stuck on the M5 for nearly 3 hours, so had to pee in an empty bottle. When I say stuck I mean I left my house at 10:50 to go to IKEA… 52 miles away… I’m only half way there

Let’s see you at 21! (This is me on my 23rd birthday as I can’t find ANY pictures of me earlier than this!)

Just a reminder… Free Palestine Free Congo Free Sudan F*ck Billionaires F*ck the Right F*ck the Patriarchy Black Lives Matter Trans Lives Matter

Thank gay it’s Friday

I got some cute new compression shorts from Temu which make my booty pop.

Okay… so very non standard ask from me. I’m running a half marathon in less than 3 weeks and I’d LOVE to raise as much money as possible for Mermaids, a charity that supports trans, non binary and intersex children and young people thrive! (1/6) www.justgiving.com/page/ry-shaw...

Ugh why is there no one local who wants to just come huff my pits and lick my balls

Re-entering my emo era. Have listened to LASTELLE for the last week on repeat.

Parkrun done. 25:48 Creeping ever closer to that 25min 5k

It’s my partner’s birthday today. EVERYONE GO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO @trebor-semordnilap.bsky.social ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Do you guys get off on video calls? Sometimes I think the thought is fun, but other times I’m like…. Mmm maybe not

I did legs today but I’m more impressed by my c*m gutters