Ok buddy, nicely done, I’m proud of you. You can enjoy the rest of the weekend as the best in town. But come Monday, I’m back in charge, or you’ll be my new rug. Do we have an understanding? ~Depot Cat

The Lions won the #AFLGrandFinal, so you all owe me a kebab! Now hurry up and open the kebab shop so I can collect my winnings. ~Depot Cat

**Draft** Congratulations to [team] on winning the 2025 #AFLGrandFinal. We always knew you could do it, which is why #YarraTrams have supported you all year. Done. Save to file. End voice prompt. After game send. Wait did that just send?

May the best team win the Grand Final passenger count today, and we all know that will be us, because @fakemetrotrains will fail as usual when there is a big event, and strand people in the middle of nowhere. Places like Broadmeadows or Carrum. #YarraTrams #AFLGrandFinal

Today I’m predicting the Lions will win, because the Cats refused to make me their Number 1 ticket holder, on the grounds they don’t serve kebabs at games. Their loss. ~Depot Cat

Extra replacement buses to the MCG today for the Grand Final. We would have run trams, but due to Davo getting married today, we have to attend the wedding, and don’t have any spare drivers available. #YarraTrams

It’s the biggest day on the sporting calendar in Melbourne today, and #YarraTrams has extra services to get you to the All Dog Breeds Championship - Breed Judging at the Royal Melbourne Show. Thankfully nothing else is happening today, so we can service this event.

Mmmm, I can’t decide which kebab to get, so I think I’ll just take them all, and don’t go expecting any payment. ~Depot Cat

Due to a rally in the city trams are operating to a Saturday timetable today. It’s to stop people arguing over if lions or cats are better, by yelling at people riding slowly in cars. None of it makes sense to us, so it’s best avoided. #YarraTrams

Throwback Thursday: Z3.132 passes B2.2078 at the Showgrounds Loop, Union Rd Ascot Vale in 2001. Both trams are obviously getting into the theme of the Show, by having their faces painted in these ridiculous non #YarraTrams colours. 📸 Gareth Lumsden

Good morning Melbourne! The Show starts today - why not pick up a FMT showbag? For just $60, you get a bus replacement cardboard cutout, 3 expired Myki cards, a random work of fiction from our staff (a timetable) and a Metro-branded stress ball. Excellent value! #MetroTrains

No. The answer is no. Don’t make us do another rail safety week you morons. #YarraTrams

#YarraTrams would like to let older people know that when teens say Six Seven, they are saying a nonsense meaningless word, and are not referring to the very sensible Route 67 tram, which is Gyatt skibidi rizz.

Congrats to Matt Rowell on your Brownlow win. As part of your prize you now get free travel on the Gold Coast tram line. Of course if you played for a Melbourne based club you’d get an entire tram network. This is just another example of why the Gold Coast sucks. #YarraTrams

Extra trams tonight to the Brownlow, so that all the footballers who lost their licence due to drink driving throughout the season can still attend the night. #YarraTrams

Tram Cops this week are targeting anyone who isn’t barracking for Geelong. As Victorians it is our duty to stop an interstate team from winning the Australian Football League Grand Final. Exceptions in place for anyone who still has a Fitzroy membership. #YarraTrams

Remember to stay hydrated, drinking at least 8 litres of water a day. That way you spray your scent over everything, and never run out. ~Depot Cat

Due to Geelong and Brisbane making it through to the AFL Grand Final next week, there is no need to run extra trams, as no Melbourne based clubs are playing in the game. That’s a nice win for us to finish off the season. #YarraTrams

Just kicking back and waiting for the footy to start. Go Pies! ~Depot Cat

Prepared to be board ye scallywags. I’m takin’ command of this here ship! It will make a nice place for me midday naps. ~Captain Depot Cat

Arrrgh! It be talk like a Pirate day, so I be takin’ control of this here account. I order all ye to get me a kebab, or ye be keelhauled under a Z class tram. Arrrrgh! ~Captain Depot Cat

Throwback Thursday: VR.53 on the original light rail track of Route 82 in Maribyrnong. It wasn’t light rail due to being a former railway line, but because we used the lightest possible rail to save costs, because people in the west don’t deserve nice things. #YarraTrams

Shut up human, you’re the fifth one to say “You can’t park there mate!” Just hurry up and get me out of here before the kebab shop closes. ~Depot Cat

Due to a parked tram blocking all lanes, no cars moving on the Eastern Freeway until further notice. Expect lengthy delays. Makes you angry doesn’t it? So stop blocking the tram tracks with your cars, because you’re delaying 100’s of passengers with your selfishness. #YarraTrams

I’m practicing for Halloween next month, to go as the scariest thing I know, the Centrelink On Hold music. Be afraid, be very afraid. ~Depot Cat

Tram Cops today are targeting whoever is causing all the wind. They are annoyed because it has blown the cinnamon sugar off their doughnuts, and now they don’t taste as good. When they find the culprit you’ll be made to put it all back grain by grain. #YarraTrams

The World Tram Driver Championship is coming to Melbourne in 2027. But before you get excited, it will be cancelled in six months due to cost blowouts, and then the Government will pay out $600million for someone else to host it. #YarraTrams

The World Tram Driver Championship took place overnight in Vienna, and surprise surprise, Vienna won the competition. RIGGED! #YarraTrams finished a highly respectable 23rd overall, take that Hong Kong and Zagreb you losers! Full report here:

The cat can’t be out of the bag, as long as I’m biting the bag. So I’ve foiled your plans to come up with ways to humiliate me. Gee you humans are so easy to defeat, it’s embarrassing for you. ~Depot Cat

Due to a rally in the city today, tram service alterations will occur. When you start complaining to yourself about where is the damn tram, you know the delays are in place. We also don’t know if there is a rally today, but hey, it’s Melbourne, there will be one. #YarraTrams

Throwback Thursday: 2019 a C class tram flies off the rails and into a building, shocking everyone that such an event could happen. Thankfully it wasn’t like a plane going into a skyscraper so no one died. Too soon? #YarraTrams

Tram Cops today are targeting everyone for anything. They are really angry after their favourite coffee shop raised prices, so now they need the extra fines commission to make up for the shortfall. It’s best to avoid being on a tram today, even if you work for #YarraTrams.

Due to the something or other the tram thingy is dunno. Look, we’re having a bad day, so look out your window for a tram. If you don’t see a tram it’s running late. If you do see a tram, it has crashed into your front yard and knocked over the garden gnome. Sorry, ok? #YarraTrams

Extra Restaurant Trams running to the Supreme Court today, for the sentencing of Erin Patterson. Get in quickly for the Chef’s Special meal of the day Beef Wellington. #YarraTrams

On the weekend we ran a G class on a test run from the new Maidstone Depot to West Maribyrnong and back again. Amazingly only 38% of the parts were stolen by locals, so we’re calling that a big win. #YarraTrams

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there. Today is a good day to be a father, you get lots of presents. That’s why I’ve hired this annoying kitten for the day, so hurry up and get giving with the goods, before you get a scratching humans. ~Depot Cat

Just having a quiet night tonight. A few beers and a bit of a relax, everything nice and chill. I just hope I have enough booze to last me until the bottle-o opens in the morning. ~Depot Cat

Heading out for Friday night drinks after work? So are we, so that means it’s Paper, Rock, Scissors to see who stays sober and drives home. Go! Ok then, best of three. Hang on, we weren’t ready that time. Oh come on! How do you win every time? Best of 300? #YarraTrams

Extra Footy Trams tonight for the big clash between the Crows and Magpies at the MCG. Wait, what do you mean the game is in Adelaide? Collingwood don’t play anywhere but the MCG. We’re wasting putting on extra trams for nothing. Thanks a lot AFL. #YarraTrams

TramTracker currently isn’t working. We have our IT department working on it, but he was up all night raiding kebab shops, so is a bit too tired to work. Expect delays. #YarraTrams

Throwback Thursday: A 1901 photo shows Essendon fans on their way to a finals match at the East Melbourne Football Ground. This can’t be recreated these days, not due to the ground being demolished, or the cable trams replaced, but because Essendon don’t play finals. #YarraTrams

Would you like to be part of the #YarraTrams Powerball syndicate? Simply touch on your Myki ten times in a row to pay for your entry. We’ll totes include you and don’t worry about the misprint on the ticket showing last week’s draw number, it’s all good.

Playing this guessing game at the Depot with a few drivers for cash. I’m so going to win because I’m the smartest one here. Thanks for the easy money losers. ~Depot Cat

Tram Cops today are targeting anyone still wearing their Winter black clothing. You should have moved onto your Spring blacks by now, or you’re giving Melbourne a bad reputation. You won’t be fined, but you will be forced to shop at Target to get new black clothing. #YarraTrams

Spring has sprung! No not the season, we’re talking about a defective tram due to a broken spring. But don’t worry, we’ll keep it in service and just blame the rough riding on bad driving. It should be good for a few more years of ignoring the problem. #YarraTrams

Product Promotion: Buy these abominations humans, so they pay me more money to get kebabs with, so I don’t have to eat this junk that tastes nothing like a kebab. Buy them now, I’m hungry. ~Depot Cat

High winds are causing debris and damage across the tram network, resulting in major delays to services. Also if you’re in the area, I could use some help, bring me kebabs…, and a ladder. ~Depot Cat

No Extra Footy Trams this weekend, due to no footy being played, which is really boring. Maybe they should do something like have a legends game for charity, or maybe even allow the women play a footy competition? We hear women can do all kinds of things now. #YarraTrams

Throwback Thursday: W2.362 on Railway Ave at Caulfield Railway Station, on the former Dandenong Rd loop tracks, abandoned in 1983, because it is heaps more fun going around the tight curves that remaIn at high speed. #YarraTrams

Tram Cops today are targeting any parents who haven’t already fully planned out their kid’s 2026 Book Week costumes. If you haven’t got the 3D printer running by now, are you really even trying? Fines will be in the form of rubbish pick up duties at lunchtime. #YarraTrams