It's finally the season of Ponchos, Parkas, and Pistols

step one, boombox bungee corded to the back of the moto. step two, a bandolier of judas priest cassettes and spare batteries. step three, there is no step three. #motosky

the onion posting this literally as I am on the phone pessimistically placing my final offer on the tiny ancient grandma house that needs $20k in repairs is a LITTLE too on the nose

Gotta be the moment at Anthrocon when @dreynbolt.bsky.social, during a lull in the room’s conversation, looked me in the eye and said out of the blue with the exact voice and energy of forced cheesy product placement “…and I’M drinking delicious electrolyte water.”

Mid-30 degree temperatures looming with the only roadworthy car in the fleet being the 40 year old museum piece riding on summer tires

"...this man was like a dollar tree version of Bixby Snyder." #nocontext

Me when Brad Angerton is road raging at me in his lifted dodge ram, knowing that if he actually starts any shit he will meet the shotgun beside my center console and then meet god

Apply WD-40 to guinea pigs to help prevent squeaking

this is required reading for all the "AVOID PAYING COASTAL PRICES WITH THIS ONE SIMPLE TRICK: MOVE TO PITTSBURGH FOR EZ CHEAP HOUSING" people out there it's cheapER, but only if you feel like dealing with our lower wages, crumbling housing stock, and swarms of flipper/investor scumbags

This is exactly how it feels to do modern highway speeds in a 40 year old 300ZX

I still need to take the motorcycle up Rialto Street just so I can say I did. 25% grade? Fuck it, full send in second gear. Hell, maybe even make a tour of it and take the old girl up all the steepest streets in Pittsburgh, the same day #motosky

6 hours to install one axle seal and bash my head against the wall on another, breaking a seal driver and the following bunch of improvised seal drivers A big “fuck youuuuu” to whatever dipshit Ford engineer put this little divot on the transmission, just to make installing the seal impossible

If your venue charges a cover AND has the balls to demand a minimum $ amount spent on food/drinks, guess what? I'm never going to your venue

"Exhausted James May trying to cobble together some kind of fix for Hammond’s model ship on a moving train" is my exact mood anymore

NO COYOTE, DON’T EAT THE THING

Went through hazmat ops class yesterday. Instructor spiced it up by saying "there's your partner, here's a UN placard number, figure out what you need to know responding to an incident with this substance". Great idea tbh, caught everyone off guard and made us use our brains... mostly.

Well, my mood rollercoastered REAL hard hearing Fleury would be back in Pittsburgh for a game to book-end his career... followed by finding out that they jacked up the ticket prices for that game by 900%. God forbid they throw the poors a bone. lol

Absolutely obsessed with this image of a fennec with his goth girlfriend #flompy #plompy

Oh no, I'm drinking and shopping for lever action rifles again.

Saw house within budget as soon as the listing dropped. Toured it immediately. Really liked it. Needed work, but nothing insurmountable. Put offer in the same day for over asking (becoming what I hate). Got outbid anyway because there were SIX other offers higher than mine.

“a la carte” is just a way for restaurants to say “we charge an extra $6 for fries” without actually saying it

Nothing like a glass of whiskey to bring out all the wistful musings of how life could be better. I guess that makes me the King of Wishful Drinking

To the F-22 pilots: I’m begging at least one of you to please do the funniest thing imaginable Bonus: you will go down in history as the hero of the 21st century

Me too, yellow tag

The masculine urge to lanesplit #motosky

"hey guys, so the photo for the album cover turned out great, but maybe we should try it again on a day when it's not super sunny?" "fuck it, just edit the sky to be black."

The service I work for will soon be capitulating to the Zoll evil empire, which means this old meme now occupies a spot in my brain indefinitely #EMSky

Home is where you can comfortably strip before taking a dump

Toured a couple more open houses today that were yet more overpriced garbage. Realtor: “oh yeah our register is right over there, if you could please sign in with your name and phone numb-“ “no thank you, I’m good.”

Who's gonna pull up at Fred's with me in a ratty AMC Hornet

Managed to pull off a very successful weekend with the Z31 at the Pittsburgh vintage Grand Prix! Cool rides and good vibes, despite disgusting heat and humidity.

Absolutely love checking my work schedule for the week, only to see that the ONE sunday shift I was approved to take off so I could go to the PVGP has been slapped back on my plate, due to another employee going on family leave. God fucking forbid I get to enjoy more than a single weekend a year.

I spent ALL DAY removing my Z's crusty old battery terminals, carefully trimming the wires and stripping the ancient insulation, crimping new lugs on, only for the new terminal's stud to be JUST tall enough to HIT THE FUCKING HOOD WHEN SHUT I'm so goddamn salty. Who's got an angle grinder

Draw your fursona like this

Taking a late night walk, pass a house with open windows and the sounds of loud sex clearly audible Arrive home, sit down with a playlist of j-fusion jazz to clean my pistols to Everyone's having a good Saturday night

One of my favorite sub-class of old folks are those who seem really polite, even kind - but are just ever so SLIGHTLY disparaging of me being on a motorcycle, yet in a way that almost adds to their concerned-old-person charm and is easy for me to take in stride. #motosky

Finally pulled the trigger on a new stereo for the Z! Not too pricey, has everything I need and nothing I don’t, looks period correct, and the backlight even matches the stock orange gauges!

Go-go gadget big fuckin ears

Yeah man, those dumb yinzers are such fuckin killjoys. why be wary about cash-flush buyers from high-income states hyping up Pittsburgh, moving in, and driving real estate prices out of reach of the locals?

You wear camo because you’re a right wing chud who pictures himself as some kind of tough guy action movie hero I wear camo/milsurp because it’s cheap, practical, and sometimes has a bit of history to it We are not the same

Taking a massive swig of whiskey and staring directly into the camera every time someone from out of state calls Pittsburgh cheap/affordable/undervalued and tells people making CA/NYC/PNW money to move here

This is unironically my house shopping strategy and is why I'm being a picky bastard: the concept of "starter homes" is obsolete and I will never be able to afford to "upgrade", so I better be damn happy with whatever I wind up in because I'm living and dying there

I'm about 3 hours deep into Yakuza 0 and I already have the intrusive thought to buy a white open collar suit, learn the dramatic disco slide, and go as Kiryu for halloween/cosplaying, but I don't think I quite have the hair or jawline for it

Ventured down to the PA trolley museum today and I could FEEL myself getting further radicalized learning about all the light rail the Pittsburgh area *used* to have. “this is what they took from you” comes to mind.

There's gotta be an exact size when scaling up a body pillow makes it stop being a body pillow and it becomes a small mattress, but I dunno if anyone has found out what it is yet

Another day touring overpriced garbage houses. The Pittsburgh market really is going for the worst of both worlds so not only are the houses 120 years old with 40 years of neglected maintenance, but the sellers STILL want triple what they paid for it in 2015.

Clarkson’s Car Years and chill?

Riding around with one of those “Watch for motorcycles!” decals, but adding a “DO NOT PERCEIVE ME” one to highlight the duality of self and keep people on their toes #motosky

Sometimes I wonder about how cool it’d be to find some vacant hole in the wall, slap up some neon lights, and start my own neo-80s club in the spirit of Terminator’s Tech Noir Then I remember I already can’t afford a decent place to live on my own and it will never get better in my lifetime

So how do I weld this here thang