Late December at UBC. Students have gone home. Faculty are marking exams at their ski chalets in Whistler. Campus belongs to The Staff.

Happy property tax day to everyone who loves paying their property taxes. Most exciting day until property assessment day on Jan 1st

Jimmy Fallon showing up in the middle of Band of Brothers has got to be the worst cameo of all time. Just some asshole with a shit eating grin dropping in the say hi in the middle of the battle of the bulge

The Gruffalo isn't a top 5 Julia Donaldson book. I could make a case it's not even top 10

My stupid baby leaned how to roll onto his tummy six weeks ago but still can't role onto his back and it's ruining my life

This is what people in Vancouver who oppose SkyTrain want. Slower than a bus!

Is it unethical to give away a Rad bikes battery that's included in the safety notice, even with full disclosure?

Christmas tree already isn't drinking water. Only 2.5 weeks to Christmas! 😬

I miss doing Advent of Code but lol even 12 days is too much right now

I still refuse to believe that Austin Reaves is good at basketball

Did my part to keep Rad bikes in business by buying a new battery for my wagon 😭

I've been negatively polarized into thinking we should kill more ostriches

Trash truck has an unrealistically tight turning radius

Pressing the "skip intro" button is a sign of low moral character

Red alert the guy across from me in the coffee shop is explaining game of thrones to a woman

My kid asked me why we buy potato chips at the grocery store every week even though we never eat them at home. I told him I keep losing them so I have to buy more. The web of lies continues to grow

We live in a 1970s wood frame apartment. My next door neighbour was genuinely surprised to learn today that we have a new baby. He's 4 months old! How has he not heard anything??

I'm going to make my team learn a new project management app next week. pray for me

"Diarrhea toddler wakes sleeping baby." take that Hemingway

I think my wife has shown me more sustained sympathy over the Blue Jays losing than when I didn't get the job I wanted and possibly even the last time I went to the ER

Kids today won't understand but making the opening of a canned drink bigger counted as a major technological advancement in the 90s

Not feeling great about losing world series but kinda nice not to be checking the score constantly while getting the kids ready for bed

"Bases loaded with one out" is something that's going to sit with me for the rest of my life

Lmao I'm going to bed #bluejays

Got the baby to sleep literally seconds before the Barger grand slam

Posted 10 minutes before the Springer Dinger and the first time all season I expressed any confidence in the Blue Jays

Jays are going to win this

My bank froze my credit card for suspected fraud and one of the suspicious transactions was the lunch place I've been going to twice a week for like 5 years

Browsed the vanpoli facebook group for the first time in 3 or 4 years and they're going off on trans people for some reason so things are still going great over there

My in-laws judge us for hiring a housecleaner but the fact is that raising a family now is different than it was back then. For instance, they didn't have to scroll in the evenings

The Blue Jays rolling out a pitcher with like 20 big league innings in the second game of the playoffs and having him obliterate the Yankees is gonna make me take back every bad thing I've said about this team for the last five years

Can't wait to watch One Battle After Another the way PTA intended: streaming on my shitty TCL tv with Bluetooth headphones in 40 minute chunks after the kids go to bed

Me on the way to the bathroom while both kids are crying

I decided I'm getting fat so I didn't buy any snacks at the grocery store last weekend but now it's Wednesday and I don't have any snacks??

Made it to the end and enjoyed it thoroughly but have to admit I was disappointed there wasn't a surprise eyeball infection in the finale

Incredible how bad the US constitution is. In normal countries if you can't pass a budget you just call an election. 250 years and they haven't figured that out

I respect this man share.google/vVKGlaDDVYjw...

Me watching other people's kids happily engaging with the teacher during swimming lessons

Going for a full episode start to finish tonight 🤞

I've found the trick to raising a happy toddler is to just give him whatever he wants

I'm just saying if Sturko was an NDP plant on a mission to infiltrate and destroy BC's right wing parties, what would she be doing differently

My bike was making a weird scraping noise for like 4 months and I didn't do anything about it and finally just went away on its own. Good life lesson really.

I get half an hour to myself in the evenings after the kids are in bed and chores are done so I'm watching Alien Earth chaos style: in 30 minute chunks without regard for episode beginnings and ends

Who funds the octonauts???

We need to put the people who design collapsible strollers in charge of other aspects of our society because they've really figured that one out

The 3 year old had a 10/10 meltdown at dinner and refused to touch his salmon. An hour later we get him back to the table and he takes a bite and literally his first words were "hmmm not bad". I lost my shit.

Best bit in my household right now is whenever the baby wakes up I tell my wife we have a Woke Baby

This has proved so successful that I've expanded it to potato chips as well. Turns out lying to your kids rocks

Pardon me?

It brings me no pleasure to admit that Justin Trudeau was probably the only national leader built for this moment