monetizing my airtable submissions tracker template for the good of the people (me and my cats wanting to stay home and not work)

gonna be flipping off my phone for the foreseeable future i suppose

"Twin Peaks: The Return contains itself; it answers its own questions and then undoes its entirety." - @kelsfjord.bsky.social

my goal for 2024 is to become more parasocially attached to celebrities

"every dripping towel, every loop of 'California Dreamin’; small items holding an entire story, the heartbreak and the hope and the waiting." - @kelsfjord.bsky.social

my eleventh enemy is spotify wrapped (fuck you spotify, I know I was melancholy this year)

my tenth enemy is Ottessa Moshfegh

my ninth enemy is porcupines

my eighth enemy is sunday night

my seventh enemy is having a job

my sixth enemy is the Wicked press tour

my fifth enemy is the bald baby my nephew goes to daycare with

my fourth enemy is casey affleck

my third enemy is the management at p*well's books

my second enemy is my friend in 2nd grade who lied about how many books she read so she could beat me in the class reading contest. you did not read that many books, *****!!!!!

my first enemy is the woman who put her hands over her ears, turned around, and mouthed "ow" at me after I laughed during the intermission of shen yun

what if i used bluesky to just start naming my enemies

casually despairing about the world at a comms conference where the takeaways are 1) ai is good even if it kills people sometimes and 2) it’s important to balance being a good person with being a good employee

sigh

*chanting* malicious compliance malicious compliance malicious compliance malicious compliance malicious compliance malicious compliance malicious compliance malicious compliance

ready to sell out, hit me up

hypothetically if one has had a rough few years, so instead of finishing one book craft you decide to write the first draft of another project, but then your mom passes and you aren’t capable of revising either but you are somehow capable of drafting a romance novel, so you’re at the point where

Thrilled to see Nonfiction: A Novel by Julie Myerson on the American Booksellers Association January IndieNext List, recommended by @kelsfjord.bsky.social !🖤🩷 www.bookweb.org/sites/defaul...

someone give me a new job pls and ty my crops are dying

"These Haunted Shores" - @kelsfjord.bsky.social on THE UNINVITED (1944)

my therapist: being hard on yourself isn’t productive me: okay but what about [lists all of the times that being hard on myself has made me productive]

galley brag galley brag

some questions I haven't known how to answer recently include "how was your summer" and "how do you like working there"

maybe this is an opportunity to rebrand myself as, like, a smoothie girl