What’s worse in your opinion? A) A guy who’s a jerk publicly but is sweet in private B) A guy who’s sweet publicly but is a jerk in private All input is appreciated 🙂‍↕️

Bloomfs… is my dad serving 70s DL Trade here?? 🤔

It is always a shame when friendship drift happens

Question for my bloomfs who work in medicine: Is it true that when you go under anesthesia, that you are able to snore? I always thought the drugs would just knock you all the way out?? I’ve been thinking about this all day please help! 😂

Bit of a brag, but it really feels good as a therapist when one of your clients who is planning to relocate asks if you’d be willing to get licensed in their state to continue working with them 🥹❣️

Now Watching:

Unfortunately I DO need to be wrapped up in the strong arms of a man. 🙂‍↕️

Now Watching:

Prosecco is so underrated, and you’re wrong if you think otherwise. 🥂

No one at this NFL draft party knows I’m gay. (My short-shorts might be a hint 🫣)

Now Watching:

I wasn’t a teenage dirtbag baby, I was in the National Honor Society.

Me exactly 1 minute and 14 seconds into my first appointment of the day:

Well my streak of not flipping off other drivers has broken today… 🙃

Idk there’s just something about seeing a man’s happy trail that just absolutely makes me melt every time. 😮‍💨🫣

Texts from bae 🥹❣️ (Straight best friend)

Me flirting: **Likes Bluesky post**

Parents should really be thankful when they have queer children because my straight brother’s lives are BORING 😂

The sweating my ass off in a heavy suit during an outdoor wedding to having to defrost my car before going into the office in a matter of 4 days in late April needs to be studied. 🫩🫩🫩

Not now sweetie, mommy is currently on a deep dive into her new hyper-fixation on YouTube where a random man blindly guesses drinks and their color.

Chat, is it a sign of a stroke if you all of sudden start smelling Bath & Body Works type of scents out of nowhere and you’re all alone???? 🫥🫥

Bloomf gave me access to his alt over the weekend and…. 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

Started playing Tomodachi Life on my Switch and forgot that I made it so my residents call me fa**ot. Imagine my surprise when I logged on today and was taken aback by Nintendo calling me a slur 😂

I just love this video from last night of me fanning myself with my friend’s c*nty fan 🤭🪭

And another thing; the fortune teller at the reception last night told me that she “sees a relationship in my future but I have to be patient because it’ll be worth it” blah blah blah. Which one of you hoes is out here playing hard to get with me??? 🙄🙄

Send help, I bridesmaned too close to the sun and hit on so many straight men last night 🫠🫠🫠

Well… i just found out that I sent two of my straight friends thirst traps late night last year… 🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️😂

Let’s get married y’all 🥂

Let’s get married y’all 🥂

Chad reporting for Bridesman duty 🫡

My boss sent me a text to call him which had me HELLA stressed. He just told me that I’m going to get a pay increase and complimented my work ethic 🥹🥹🥹

Tank top while exercising weather has returned. 😎☀️

I guess I’ve been having such bad luck on the apps that they just started showing me straight women now 🫠

My job is asking us to write a staff spotlight about ourselves and idk how to professionally say that I enjoy drinking wine and openly flirting with gay men online when I’m not in the office…

I got excused from jury duty, and that’s on being an ✨essential healthcare worker✨ 💋

Totally forgot that I made this my quote for the yearbook senior year of high school 🙃

Blessed with skin that tans easily in the warm months. 🥰 Cursed with body dysmorphia that prevents me from being shirtless outside so I develop a weird farmer’s tan every year. 😩

“Close Friends really seemed to enjoy this one… 🫣🤭” And it’s just a pic of their right nostril.

“We apologize for any inconvenience” Oh ok, that makes it all better then!!!!! 🙄🙄

It arrived and I literally stuffed it all in my mouth in under 20 mins… 🫠

Fresh cut Friday 💇🏻‍♂️ (The lollipop is a paid actor 🍭)

I’m already fantasizing about the pizza and fries I’m going to order tomorrow night 😍🍕🍟

Spilled pineapple juice on my shirt once I got to the office and now it looks like I just j***ed all over myself. Happy Thursday!!! 🤗

If you’re wondering how my week is going; I just put the bottle of wine for Friday in the refrigerator to start chilling today… 🙃

Seeing bloomfs on Scruff: ☺️ Bloomfs being too far away to interact with on Scruff: ☹️

The idea of paying tolls to get into other states is wild to me. Why do we have to pay a cover to get into another state? Like I’m just trying to get into Delaware, not New York’s hottest nightclub 🙄🙄🙄

Kristi Noem’s husband:

Sunday Funday makes me want to be unhinged late night on main 🤭🤭

Double posting because I went to Philadelphia’s boy aquarium and now they are going to the playoffs 🧡🖤

Spending the holy day at the boy aquarium in Philly 🧡🖤🏒