A selection of answers given to some very curious kids during today's program. No, I don't have a husband. I have never had a husband. I might have a husband someday, I guess. Yes, my arms have hair on them. I don't have kids, but I have two dogs. No, there is not a baby "in there," just my lunch.

Once more sharing my delight that the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences has chosen a name that abbreviates to PNAS, and that they use the abbreviation everywhere. I am twelve, and apparently so are all of the scientists.

I mean at least this way we don't spend the next 20 years hearing about how we cheated the red card...

Holy crap if you're not watching Mexico-England, you should be.

These are killing me, I love it so much. (Alt: a screenshot of Randy Quaid in Independence Day swigging from a bottle of liquor. The OP has added the World Cup chyron "Pausa de Hidratación" in the bottom left corner.)

When you take "beach reading" a bit too literally...

Actual laugh-out-loud moment just now.

Aw yeah, it's that time again!!

Very annoying to learn that my ideal form of exercise is kayaking when I do not live next to a kayak-able body of water.

Me sowing (helping 11 people make tie-dye): Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!! Me reaping (rinsing dye out of 17 different items): Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.

Michigan City photo-dump!

Pride cocktails at vacation brunch!

We have been on vacation for 3 days and so far: One toilet has overflowed. One shower pan leaked onto the bed in the room below. Cell service died for 12 hours. This will eventually be funny...probably.

Sorry, can't go to your party. Pope says I gotta finish my gay cowboy novel.

Deeply entertained by how hard the emergency weather guy is trying not to say the town name of "Sugartit." "Between Union and Richmond..." Boooo, it's right there on the screen, just say it!!

Oh yeah so, I did go to the Urgent Care (thank you all for gently bullying me into it, you were 100% correct to do so) and it is...not actually broken! Just hella bruised. So yay for urgent cares and icepacks and friends. 💜

"Sexual Orientation • Heterosexual • Homosexual • Okay, so it’s 1999 and The Mummy is in theaters and everyone is falling in love with men and women and eyeliner as thick as the lid of a sarcophagus..." today from Frances Klein! https://www.havehashad.com/lk1uf

Behold my child!! Bereth Kriks, first of her name, were-rat gnome shaman extraordinaire! #Pathfinder #CrimsonThrone Art by my sister, Kat Rose!

I remember the moment in 2008 or 2009 when I went to get a tv for my grad school apartment, and suddenly you could ONLY get flat-screens. It was such a weird, abrupt shift.

Aaaaaaah I commissioned my sister to make a "rat girl summer" design for my were-rat gnome in our Pathfinder game and it is SO PERFECT but I'm not allowed to share it till she can get a pic with good lighting. I'm grinning so hard, my sister is so cool.

Lost a 41-year streak of no broken bones in the funniest way possible: Dropping a bathroom garbage can on my big toe in the middle of Target.

Checking social media *after* the game is hilarious. Glee followed by 2 hours of wtf is going on here???

I don't know how to explain to the local school/church service group that I can't tell my customers "everyone is welcome" to your summer bash, when you're hosting it at a church, opening with a prayer, and inviting worship bands to perform. You want to find a way to MAKE it welcoming, we'll talk.

Today after storytime, a kid handed me the K-is-for-king hand puppet. Without even thinking about it, I immediately made the puppet go, "Da da da DA daaaaaa..." And a mom almost choked on her coffee, so it's a good day.

us, lightly touching a document: I just need to move you so I can make sure you're properly supported on this table the document, the pages enormous: you SHOVE document? you throw the vellum like a paper aeroplane? oh! oh! jail for archivist! jail for archivist for One Thousand Years!!!!

Some fucker in a local newsroom has an axe to grind against libraries, and I'm hella tired of having to tell my staff about hit pieces and clickbait articles that customers may mention.

"Oh BET! I can use the sledgehammer!" --the niece who will absolutely not be allowed to use a sledgehammer.

Related: I can look like a grownup when required.

Love attending the weddings of library people. There's a custom puzzle on the table, and we are all gathered introvertedly around it.

Beth in (a heavily edited kids' version of) Little Women. 6-year-old me had never realized that *kids* could get sick and just Not Get Better. Anyway, now I'm in my 40s with an anxiety disorder, no idea where that came from.

What do libraries even do anymore? Well, I just clumsily live-captioned a funeral stream so that a Deaf customer could attend the ceremony and get closure. (Then after she left, I blasted the streaming service's feedback page for not offering captions. Not even shitty auto-captions? Come on!!)

Described the plot of "Long Live Evil" to my romantasy-obsessed sister, and she was on her phone ordering it before I was even halfway into my pitch. I didn't even get to tell her about the evil musical number that hijacks the Cinderella ball!!

Just found out that we have to redo tons of library publicity because the phrase "America 250" is trademarked. Is anything more cynically American than that???

Can attest that kids actually do say, "That's AI," in the sense of "that's made-up bullshit." Unfortunately in this case it was in response to the question, "Why is there glitter all over the study area?" but still. You go, kids. Go clean up the glitter.

Someone call Gretchen Weiners, it finally happened!!

Missed the bobblehead, so we damn well BETTER make up for that with a win.

Dinner date with my favorite construct and its favorite humans/bots/constructs.

Genuinely, what the FUCK is up with Roblox captchas? My degree is NOT in deciphering fuzzy pixelated symbols under the feet of a pink-haired avatar who is always blocking 2/3 of the symbol you need to see. I need a NYT investigation.

I picked a hell of a year to finally read Confederates in the Attic.

Good job, man. This shit has got my dad, Normie McModCon, sounding like my sister and I did in 2003.

Wow, this email complaint was cc'd to a supervisor who hasn't worked here in seven years, how did they even find that name... [Signature block boasts AI trainer credentials] Ok yeah, never mind.

Pets with bonnets are never not cute! This doofus played too haed with his brother and got his ear nibbled...

Just noticed that Murderbot frequently calls SecUnits "expensive," but never "valuable." Because of course it has no value to The Company, so it doesn't think of itself as a being with value. Fun with synonyms! Anyway, I wanna fight an imaginary corporate conglomerate now.

Okay, if there is already a book titled "The Book Woman of Troublesome Creek," you should not be allowed to call your book "The Book Club for Troublesome Women." Or if you do, you should post your phone number so I can send my grumpy, mixed-up elderly book club ladies to yell at YOU instead.

I wish these "clean" imprints would just admit that anything queer is also "dirty." Because I sure didn't see any indication of lgbt existence in the book profiles on their website. Ugh.

Just used the Independence Day satellite sketch to explain to a zoomer coworker why we're out of contact with Artemis for a while. She thinks I came up with it myself, and I'm not sure if I want to come clean...

DraftKings using "The Gambler" as a responsible-betting ad is on par with shitty politicians using Bruce Springsteen or CCR as walk-up music. Have they ever heard how the song ends??

The prologue/epilogue skippers are missing so much. I want to sit down and watch their favorite movie with them. Imagine Raiders of the Lost Ark opening without the boulder, and ending before the warehouse. Fellowship of the Ring without Isildur's folly. Up without the part that makes you sob.

Lol they keep showing the Marriott commercial where Auriemma is like, "Stay calm, stay composed." Possibly he did not listen to his own advice.

The manager at the local Skyline always wants to chat about Star Wars and nerdy things, but every time he opens his mouth I just KNOW he has opinions about "ethics in gaming journalism."