Killing me softly. . .

it's time for journos to start asking Johnson meta questions "Speaker, on 5 occasions last week you said 'I haven't seen it' when asked about news events w/big implications for public policy. Do you ever read the news, and do you agree it's problematic for the Speaker to be so woefully uninformed?"

It took me 20 minutes to get into my Gmail account today. WTF?

Complaint #042 I got squished, scanned, and told not to breathe. Now you want a survey? “How was your compression experience?” It was a pancake. I was the filling. Please—no follow-up questions. #ComplaintDepartment #MammogramMood #SurveyFatigue

Why is opening a new package harder than getting into Fort Knox? I bought headphones, not a security clearance. Blister packs, layers of tape, and a plastic shell forged in the fires of Mount Doom. By the time I get it open, I don’t even want it anymore. I just want a nap and a tetanus shot.