fey-ass website age verification that’s like “may we please have your birthday?” with just a yes/no option.

Who do you think is gonna be the first to regress at the sleepover tonight

defibrillator abuse commission for @pervertc.at! ^w^

Okay so apparently you're supposed to use your birthday wish to get older and we've just been wasting it on plushies and presents this entire time???

Sister beat you to potty training and now there's none left for you

Responding to regression threats with "rest in preschool but I'm built different"

Fairy tail toddler life where all your friends are either other kids or talking animals

You self medicate with caffeine for your ADHD but it stunts your growth and then you're little forever

Regressing down a significantly different path than the one you remember going up because we moved the little trail of breadcrumbs you were leaving on the way

stole her position as big sister just like she stole mom's car keys

I can't tell y'all how much it means to me to be described as things like "little sister coded" or "infant/toddler coded"

Awawawaa wait we're cute...

Giving you coloring book porn and telling you your homework for the night is making stickies in your diaper about it

Missing these

Hearing the phrase "your homework is..." immediately gives you the feeling of a quest accepted notification

Babysitter reminding you that if you're gonna be squirmy and uncooperative during changies she can just skip to the party of the story where you're already padded and dependant

Aw are you trying to turn me off? It's far too late for that, Little One. We both know just how much two year olds 💕 love 💕 watching cartoons. 📺✨

The dawning realization a couple years in that the kind of girl you're transitioning into is neither human nor adult

Watching the babysitter erase your height measurements from the doorframe in reverse order

Overlay filesystem but for age

Something happened (or happens?) to your narrative in the future!! It was supposed to be a shitpost during FC but it got too complicated and turned into a zine

Wait don't tear that off! The age verification wristband is the only thing keeping you above 18

Hovering just under you in age, going "I'm not older than you I'm not older than you~" in the most annoying way possible

"your paci strap matches the bondage rope you packed"

Try as you might, you just can't be older than 7 in virtual reality

The kid who got a coyote for Christmas

Plushies know best

Mommy who knows how impressionable you are like this and could give you any fetish she'd like just by picking out the right episode of a cartoon

Prescriptive bracelets

Cootie catcher based age assignment

Tripping over a crack in reality on your way home because the weird girl you met on the playground who has a crush on you begged her mom to make you her sister and she was like "oh sure sweetie" 🫰✨

You get to watch us turn off your checkbox for pronouncing the letter "r"

more like cumming–away–age ceremony

Perpetual hypno age regression diaper nursery pocket dimension victim

Got ahold of the family computer and installed the sketchy reality warping software

Watching your older sister hump plushies in daycare while she insists she's supposed to be in middle school, but she's actually supposed to be graduating highschool by now

Little sister who's focused soo hard on keeping her potty training she doesn't even remember you were girlfriends when you were both older

"pretty sure you've always been like this" ...oh no that makes us hard

Do you think she's old enough for rim lighting?

Okay but if the evil daycare witch regresses us and uses the stolen years to extend her own lifespan how does that wesult in a net gain in tawa dabagawa buhh

graduating from college but the variable just rolls over and you're back in preschool getting promoted at work but the variable just rolls over and you're back in preschool

Looking at a wolf like, "oh no, he's sooo hot... we're the same species... it could work..."

"ugh isn't that a kid's show?" "Yeah, guess what you're gonna be in a minute"

"biggest little siscon"

Being offered a choice between the letter pattern diapers and the number pattern diapers for your changies, knowing full well what is going to happen to you once you wet

making sure your daughter's collar matches with your jewelry

When a toy says its for "ages 3-6" it means you can use it to regress 6 year olds into 3 year olds, you have to assemble the right set to successfully rachet an adult all the way down

Obediently acting your part in the school play, helpless to read out anything but the lines the director is feeding you. Unfortunately the script doesn't seem to contain anything like "please, let me go, this isn't right! Help!" or "why am I dressed like this? I don't need diapers, I'm a grown up."

Oh no your tolerance regressed too, those were big kid bong hits