No idea what anyone saw from JJ McCarthy at Michigan to make them think he was an NFL quarterback. He threw 8 passes a game there.

Sisu >>> Inglorious Basterds

Will report back on this next weekend. Stay tuned.

Only to tell other people that are talking TO SHUT THE FUCK UP

we'll file that one away in the 'Yea No Shit' folder

god forbid men have hobbies

Spurs win again. Almost feel bad for all you jackass Mavericks fans that only root for them because they're your "hometown team." Grow up, pussies.

Dumbfuck backed into grocery pickup (it sprinkled earlier) and deadass parked right on the goddamn line. Like perfectly taking up half of two different spaces. I see no reason why I shouldn't be allowed to murder them.

Economy so bad, house prices so high, HGTV is showing A Christmas Story rather than, ya know, shows about homes and/or gardens.

Rice Krispie Treats

I love that folks are so arrogant that they've created Mandela Effects rather than admitting they have a poor memory and/or are very stupid.

No cunt has ever cunted so hard

Honey wake up, a new Smollett just dropped

Personally I think we should tear him apart limb from limb like they do Frankenstein's monster ((I've never seen the movie, I assume that's how it ends) suspend me again Bluesky pussies, I dare you!))

8-0 four possessions into the game. I won't be watching any more Spurs basketball for the foreseeable future.

Wemby out. Castle out. Harper out. Why even bother watching sports? I get no joy out of it whatsoever.

When I was in grade school, I'd wake up at 5am just so I could watch Sportscenter and catch all the previous night's highlights. This was peak Dan Patrick/Keith Olbermann Sportscenter. Best to ever do it. Not only did they influence my love of sports but also my sense of humor. Fuck Keith Olbermann.

Next time I ask my waitress for an extra cup of ranch and she explains that its gonna cost $1.50 I'm going to reply "quiet. Quiet piggy."

Fuck it, gonna kill myself

Bad news parents. The tooth fairy isn't buying your kid's tooth. He is buying their silence after they molest your child and take their tooth as a trophy. The tooth under the pillow simply alerts the fairy that your son or daughter has reached their preferred age range. And you're all complicit!

The worst part of being suspended from here for three days is there is nowhere else for me l to get my daily pedophile news from. Who else was named this weekend? Did Trump blow any one else? I have no idea!

Sunbathing in mid November...its supposed to be hoodie weather goddamnit

lol

The New York financier?

I'll be honest. I was in a very very dark place. I hadn't been on social media in months. I was hardly eating. Hardly sleeping. Ignoring my friends. Then out of nowhere, close to midnight, my cousin simply text me the greatest words I've ever read. "Luka traded to Lakers."

I remember early on in Wemby's rookie year I tweeted the Spurs were closer to an NBA title than the Mavs. I caught A LOT of shit. Then the Mavs made the Finals (in which they had zero chance of winning), and I caught A LOT MORE shit. Feel free to apologize Mavs fans. I'm big on forgiveness.

Victor Wembanyama is insane.

Victor Wembanyama, light work

Imagine white knighting for Chuck Schumer of all people. Couldn't be me.

How bout you eat my fucking balls you old cunt?

Girls in grade school used to call me Bae-thoven.

Chuck Schumer gotta go. And by gotta go, I mean die.

Fuck this old limpdick cuck and everyone that keeps voting him into office

Are ESPYs still a thing cause there's your winner?

Just made mashed potatoes so creamy they reminded me of your mother

Its always Fuck Houston in this house

No face in the entire history of mankind has looked more racist

I thought that bluesky Rude setting going around yesterday was just a funny photoshop. Jesus christ

Predator Badlands was a near perfect sci-fi movie. Zero complaints. Good story, beautifully shot, comic relief, cool aliens, they humanized a Predator, Elle Fanning was great x2. Enjoyed it start to finish.

So not only did these two damn near 60 year old redneck pieces of shit buy these tix right next to me, when I walk up there she has her purse IN MY SEAT. I sit near the aisle bc fuck them. Then I listen as this old man bitches about the NYC mayoral election as if hes ever left city limits.

Jesus fucking christ. I bought my ticket a week ago. Why the fuck would you buy two seats right next to me?!?!

Feels like a Predator Badlands and gas station cherry sours kinda night

If the Lakers had a conscience at all they would simply give the Mavs another first rounder out of guilt.

How the fuck is this the funniest/dumbest/saddest/most infuriating timeline all at once?

I think to myself as a choke down another dry Raising Cane's chicken finger

They dont get that shit fixed by the time Bama and LSU kickoff I might be right behind him

Mavericks able to get to 5 losses a solid half hour before the Cowboys. Impressive stuff happening in Dallas.

Sengun runs like a fancy boy