I've said and done some pretty ugly things to get out of going to Home Depot.

It's funny because I sit in a coffee shop, working on a script, looking like a tortured artist. Curled up in a corner with a black coffee, tearing my hair out like I'm Edgar Allan Poe or something. But if you read over my shoulder it'll say like "And then Santa Claus says to Rudolf..." #scriptsky

Happy Birthday, George Wendt! Born this day in 1948. Pour one out for Norm 🥂 #rip #Norm #cheers #scriptsky #stuntlist #georgewendt www.officialstuntlist.com/ballers-list...

Proud to be a semifinalist in the #pageawards 😃 Congrats to the winners! #scriptsky

I'm annoyed that the Fox X-Men universe isn't dead. How many found farewells do we need for this mid franchise? I'm sorry but once you've played a moist-eyed montage of BTS footage over Green Day's "The Time of Your Life," it's officially OVER!! #MCU #filmsky www.youtube.com/watch?v=f50B...

I opened a money market account today like somekinda big shot

10/10. Worth re-subscribing for. #mcu #Disneyplus #marvelzombies

In a stunning act of self sabotage, I apparently clicked "Do Not Contact" after entering the #pageawards back in 2010. Flash forward 15 years and I had no idea SANTAMAN REGIFTED made it to the semifinals until it failed to make the finals. Got months worth of joy and pain in one dose. 🙃 #scriptsky

A friend pitching me his "great" movie idea... FRIEND: This script will write itself!! ME: It's gonna have to. #scriptsky

I'm proud to be featured on this year's Stunt List. And #TheStuntList should be proud to be featured in this week's #Cracked article. Congrats @ashlazer.bsky.social 🥂 www.cracked.com/amp/article_... #filmsky #scriptsky #TheNakedGun

Just read HOWARD THE DUCK on the Stunt List 2025 and I recommend you all do the same. As a fan of the OG movie and the MCU, I loved it. Nice work @kirksays.bsky.social #scriptsky www.officialstuntlist.com/stunt-list-s...

For Norm and Cliff, life is a spectator sport. #screenwriting #scriptsky #cheers www.officialstuntlist.com/stunt-list-s...

Wouldn't you like to get away? Take a break from all your worries and check out MAYDAY MALONE on the 2025 Stunt List! #SOMETIMESYOUWANNAGO #Georgewendt (RIP) #Cheers #scriptsky officialstuntlist.com/stunt-list-s...

Very cool Stunt List this year featuring some very big gets. (Harry's All Night Hamburgers is one of my favorite screenplays ever!) Congrats to all involved and special thanks to the rad king Ash Lazer for including me in all the mad radness. 🥂 officialstuntlist.com/stuntlist-2025

Is Godfather 2 the one where he has to fight 3 villains with the same powers as Godfather?

My girlfriend eats like a bird. Like a bird a day. Two at the most.

Sometimes I enjoy training new hires at #fedex "Have you ever worked in any kind of sweaty industrial capitalist hellscape before?" "Yeah, I used to work at Amazon." "Perfect!"

"There's nothing wrong with enjoying dinosaur-shaped food! I don't know why there's such a stigma!" - a thing I heard myself say

#mcdonalds? Fantastic Four. Same question. #Fantasticfour #mcu #toyphotography

Sure, he might use the word "rad" too often, but Ash Lazer runs a quality showcase👍 #comicsky #writerslife

Luthor's whole motivation shoulda been: "THAT THING SHOULD BE ON A LEASH!!" *shakes fist* #superman #filmsky

What's the point of all this working out if people aren't constantly stopping me to say "Hey, looks like you've been working out"

I'm just an adult male in his 50s, enjoying his fourth Uncrustable of the day.

I still say if they simply made it a musical about a psychiatrist who falls in love / gets driven mad by the patient she's supposed to cure, #Joker 2 could have been a great movie. Play Beyonce's "Crazy in Love" in the trailer over a Harley/Joker crime spree and it makes a billion dollars.

Tina Fey once called the Cheers pilot "Gimme a Ring Sometime" the greatest sitcom pilot script ever written. Is my Cheers prequel pilot as good? You can judge for yourself HERE: (But, no. Of course not. Be realistic.) www.officialstuntlist.com/ballers-list... #ballerslist2025 #scriptsky #Cheers 🥂

MAYDAY MALONE started as a fun little idea I had that I eventually abandoned because it was completely unmarketable. That is until the #BallersList2025 came along and gave it a home. This script wouldn't exist without @ashlazer.bsky.social and his team. Thank you! 🥂 #scriptsky #screenwriting #cheers

Mom has dementia and today's her birthday. She's not gonna be happy to find out she's 78.

Wouldn't you like to get away? Take a break from all your worries and check out MAYDAY MALONE on the #BALLERSLIST2025! Big thanks to Ash Lazer and his unstoppable squad 🥂 #screenwriting #scriptsky #cheers #bostonredsox #sometimesyouwannago www.officialstuntlist.com/ballers-list...

Hey #mcdonalds, where are the Thunderbolts* Happy Meal toys? I've got a tradition to uphold here. #MarvelStudios #Thunderbolts #thenewavengers #toyphotography

FTW!

#thunderbolts is nothing like the comic book I'm familiar with but it's strikingly well done. It has what Captain America Brave New World sadly lacked: an ingenious and thoughtful screenplay. 8/10 #mcu #scriptsky #filmsky #notmycaptainamerica

But my Coverfly profile is my best profile 😢 #writingcommunity #scriptsky

I'm not here to judge. I mean, I'm GOING to judge,but that's not why I'm here.

The thing about New York is they take bagels seriously. Everywhere else they're just an afterthought. #nyc

I miss Bottle Rocket Wes Anderson. Before he obsessed over making each frame a precious shoebox diorama. #filmsky

"We Come in Peace" Trenton, NJ April 19, 2021 #abandoned #urbex #BlueSkyArtShow #photography #BlueSkyPhotographers

My average #screenwriting session: #scriptsky #writingcommunity

#TheWhiteLotus should have had a post credit scene where the rich family is now living at the Buddhist monastery, miserably eating non-organic vegan food

Hey Mr. Mister aint that Twisted Sister on the radio stereo

It's gonna take more than your dumb little sign to stop me #library #puzzledestroyer

Most people like me but I notice the ones that don't are either bald or balding

"Is this your first time shopping with us?" "Yes, I believe it is." "Ok then lets get you set up with a Verizon account, I just need to ask you a couple questions--" "Could I just give you the cash, and you just give me the charger? He nodded and quietly rang me up. I consider that a huge win.

Bill Burr was (no surprise) a perfect Dave Moss and Bob Odenkirk is a very solid Shelly but I thought Michael McKean gave the best performance as Arranow. Culkin is just okay as Roma and Webber as Williamson overplays his hand. Overall ★ ★ 1/2 out of four. #Glengarryglenross #Broadway #theater

So please stop asking #avengersdoomsday #mcu #scriptsky

Told you.

There was a time I was so obsessed with NBC's "The Apprentice," I based a It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia spec script on it. #theapprentice #itsalwayssunny #scriptsky @alwaysunnyontv.bsky.social drive.google.com/file/d/1r1SZ...

When it comes to fighting crime, one man is gifted. SANTAMAN: REGIFTED. Winner of the 2024 Emerging Screenwriters Animation Screenplay Competition and Most Viewed/Most Downloaded screenplay on the 2024 Naughty List. #An #Fea #4Q #Cwin #SeRe #screenpit

BEYOND HELP with Handy Andy #pi #co #ScreenPit Beyond Help follows overconfident yet incompetent Andy Cornwall as he travels country documenting his attempts to fix everything from restaurants to marriages, in the hopes of selling his half-assed reality show to a network.

Hi, My Name is Pam Based on a true story: A 43-year-old woman with early-onset dementia has one last journey down memory lane before her memories fade away forever. If I were to only get one project on screen, this would be it. A love letter to my late mother. #ScreenPit #Dr #Sho #scriptsky+