Gay people aren’t smart anymore (Fran Liebowitz exonerated) because nobody said “She has a Khia Soul”

I want to be on a podcast just so I can ask “can I curse on this podcast?”

Choosing the 10:15am screening of Stop That Train to enjoy it in sober silence.

I love when dogs were clearly designed by Jim Henson

Summer 2026 is for being Wiccan.

I went to garage sales today and two dogs at different spots ran up to me like I was an old friend.

Ticketmaster supposedly leaked a tour name and it’s a lyric/(title?) of a new song that absolutely shattered me and I told all my friends about, even predicting it might be a lead single. I am The Knower.

who is this www.youtube.com/watch?v=6a2n...

Swagatha Rizztie

I wonder if I was the only person at the Phoebe Bridgers pop-up show that knew they were playing Grouper before the show started

Really need this single mom on Facebook Marketplace to get back to me about selling me her Kindle.

Stop! That! Disclosure Day! Disclose! That! Day! Disclosure Train Train! Day

Ignore the time that I said that Hacks should end after season 2. At this time and place, I am not ready for Hacks to end.

Imagine being the gay guy who gets to come up with editorial photoshoot themes. Just showing up to work with “so she’s in grey office answering a landline in 2026 while paper flys by” and then expensing a Starbucks sandwich for lunch.

Lisa Jalopy

The Iowa groupchat a are on High Alert today 🛸 👽

Oh wow, I designed something really cool tonight!

Hot Phoebe Summer

[Skit: Vic-E] In the club, people use material things to increase their chances of a pick-up, such as diamond Rolexes, Prada bags, and Versace outfits. I guess it makes them feel special. In Japan, they just move to the one and two

Meme oral weekend?

During the Khia (mispronounced) Factory meme era, nobody was smart enough to riff on IKEA.

Reddit Pass is the moment where you have to decide if a new interest is worth the time and sanity of looking at Reddit.

If the climax of Stop That Train is someone shouting “Trains Pride!”, that would be good.

remember euro electro sleaze? www.youtube.com/watch?v=650D...

orders close at midnight ct 🌛 ✨ www.shopjacobblank.com

Hi oomfies 🌞! I'm selling a collection of summerwear I've designed at a beach party pop-up in Chicago and donating profits to support an org providing pro bono legal services (and suing !¢€). Come through!! 🍊⛱️🧡 getpie.at/QbHy5EFk

What pop star would have the best restaurant and what would the signature dish be?

Not to be a bitch, but I’ve seen Grouper live

I'm listening to Christina Applegate's memoir and she has a hilarious story about this song. Realest person ever. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rrr4...

Kind of want to start a confectionary just so I can call it Go Fudge Yourself

Is it safe to take QuarkXPress off my resume yet?

more of that gay stuff for summer 🌞 www.shopjacobblank.com 🌞

Tabatha Takes Over Youtube, apparently.

🌀 Jack wears the new Solar Spiral swim brief and sun hat. Worship the sun.🌞

My local theater (Christian vibes) is STILL playing Project Hail Mary

Today I learned about the hypno fetish community and how much they like spirals

🌀 Jack wears the new Solar Spiral swim brief and sun hat. Worship the sun.🌞

Someday you will Jake like I Jake

The computer speakers I bought at Goodwill 9 years ago don't work until I play this video a few times www.youtube.com/shorts/wOoQ6...

When I give Stop That Train 5 stars and a “This isn’t funny… it’s HILARIOUS!”

Stayed up late on an anthropological safari through heterosexuality. Wow! Queerness is really a gift. These people do not understand themselves.

Really in the mood to lose a month of my life to a video game

When skincare ads cut to b roll of gloop >>>

Popcorn with sliced apples and peanut butter for dinner- yeah, that’s rat dinner #hantavirus

RFK Jr is kinda the perfect guy to handle hantavirus. I assume he's had it a few times.

ahh yes! the boundless millennial optimism of this era can in fact be overstated. www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlry...

Gig work? Gag work!

On behalf of Jacobs, I accept this nomination and will strive to at least beat “My ‘pharmacist’ who is actually my drug dealer”

Harper Collins just released their Nomad Editions, inspired by Japanese pocket books. Does not compare to my personal favorite Weird Book Format, the Flipback book (now, Penguin Minis), meant to be read one-handed and flip with your thumb, like a phone scroll.

If nobody got me, Tammie Brown got me. www.youtube.com/watch?v=m89x...