Just letting all you nerds know that IKEA is selling Mimics as part of their new collection Grejsimojs (Thingamajig/Doodad).

I know these are making you salivate

I know these are making you salivate

It’s Monday, get to work

Trying my best to not masturbate DAILY, to the degree I normally do. My morning wood today was being difficult

So one thing with going from Twitter to here way back whenever that was, is that it my use lowered immensely. However, I do miss seeing all of my friends naked and sexy :(

I’m being extra handsome today (the frown is sadly just a part of my face)

Not letting this pimple ruin my life

I never showed the finished thing! Incredible what you can sow after work in a week!

Edged and horny for my good friend @jockkong.bsky.social, giving him some of my alpha nut 😛

Which one of you can fucking take me?

No pattern, just vibes. Who am I?

I worked that edge-dribble out

I worked that edge-dribble out

Felt kinda workplace hot last week

Coming back on here to inform you all that I just beat *that* boss in Hades 2, so who’s gonna blow me?

CHARLIE KIRK WAS SHOT???

Good news, I’m apparently more gray than I was a year ago. Can’t wait to go gray in my 30s 🥰

Finally refreshed the perm… which also means I’m committed to the shame hat-life for two days. The rules of hair care are simple and finite.

Kind of obsessed with my own cock

Strategic cropping makes me look WIDE

Being British is a constant humiliation ritual

Sometimes I’m afraid I’m having too much fun…

I don’t know if it’s cock dysmorphia or what but I feel like so always look much bigger than I am 😐

No better feeling than a rock hard erection after getting your balls shaved 😛

I fear digimon has been back in the kitchen… don’t spill the salt

Cuomo has no swagger

Goodbye beard, I’m tired of you

I’m very verbal, I just never really post verbal stuff. Had been edging for the better part of the afternoon. Had to bust.

Only guys my height are allowed to my ride this ride 😤

Only guys my height are allowed to my ride this ride 😤

Google AI is telling everyone my place of work offers a 50% discount to customers of certain memberships because we used to according to 4 old catalogues from 2007-2010 (before the new owners took over)…

When the Grindr-hookup flakes, I’ve got a toy for that

Been looking kinda big

Been looking kinda big

Might hook up with a femboy, this is new territory for me

I pray to the gay gods every night that some of my favourite amateur pornstars return

I’ve been feeling extra hot recently, which means I’m getting back into worship. Here’s your verbal dom ready to use you 😈😘

Oh… the US bombed Iran huh

Nothing is more profitable for the comfortable rulers of our world than war

It’s not gonna suck itself alright?

Literally was clearing my inbox and clearly @theblowers.com decided to really hit a home run with their bs.

Grandpa is leading the cultish ceremony in the middle, making sure everyone is doing the moves right. All that’s left is dinner and a bachelor to sacrifice

Second task also completed, flower crown

First task of midsummer completed, pickled herring lunch

Wouldn’t be midsummer without me getting a burn because I’m stupid… 🌞

The day before midsummer… it might actually not rain this year (it always rains)

Wouldn’t be midsummer without me getting a burn because I’m stupid… 🌞

The day before midsummer… it might actually not rain this year (it always rains)