First day with the new employer. I should show them my favorite coffee mug.

The new employer uses teams, I think I need to renegotiate my salary.

Took my car in for service this morning and was behind one with “ILOVEDP” on their license plate. 🤭

These things are addictive and surely not a bad idea at 7pm. 😬

Pretty disappointed in myself for forgetting to leave the annoying PCB behind when I cleaned out my desk Saturday. www.amazon.com/Funny-Pranks...

I have had four people reach out via LinkedIn to ask if my new job has any more openings since they found out I punted over the weekend. CEO is sad that I left too and would have fixed whatever was wrong. Well, he was about 70% of the reason…

Covid has been around almost six years now. I don’t care whether you wear a mask, but if you still cannot wear it properly at this point, why are you even bothering, chinstrap lady?

How do we feel about 7Brew coffee? Is it like Biggby where the coffee is bad so they mostly sell excessively sweet and flavored “coffee” drinks?

New employer uses ADP for payroll/HR and that app is just one gigantic ad.

Bye, Felicia.

I don’t think PayPal thought it through very well when they changed their email from name to “PP.”

Boy I can't wait to get my reimbursement from any company that applied a tariff to a purchase I made. 🤣🙃 finance.yahoo.com/news/it-will...

Oh that’s bad

Even the towels got pineappled

Quirky, but cute hotel in Chicago. Why is there always a cuck chair?

My favorite little coffee shop in Chicago.

The enter your email for 5% off splash screen on every goddamn website needs to go the way of the X 10 wireless camera popup from the 90s.

This city will roll over for anyone who waves a pretty penny in their face, sad!

Thank you for logging in with your username, password and 2FA code. Now can you prove you are human by spending the next three minutes trying to figure out what we consider to be parts of a traffic light?

I hear Slack dinging from another room, but I’m busy.

So let's say you have a job offer and they want you to start in just over two weeks. You're also on PTO for the next two weeks. When would you notify your current employer? I'm tempted to wait to the end of PTO because I'm very much in fuck you mode right now.

Quadruple checks that I unchecked the “Let’s keep in touch!” checkbox on a Shopify store, gets a newsletter email before the order confirmation.

I’m going to throw an edging party but you can’t come.

If a government won't protect its citizens, they will protect themselves.

me: they’re just- wife: don’t say it me: ... wife: I mean it me: ... wife: ... me: lion there

"What a lost opportunity" could be the motto for democrats. @schumer.senate.gov

Sure is fun driving when people slow down to 15 because the road is wet from melting snow when it’s 55 degrees outside.

It’s 55 degrees outside and the motorcycles are out.

Why do so many struggle with the difference between "lose" and "loose"?

This was better than most super bowel ads.

The "White House staffer" who posted the disgustingly racist Obama meme:

Just got an email that my electric bill is ready. I'm scared to look.

Donald Trump is a racist.

He wrote FUCK ICE with his own urine.

So who has a powered L-shaped standing desk they like that doesn't cost a couple mortgage payments? I think it's time to finally get one.

Legit curious how FedEx thinks they are going to deliver something by 8pm when they took it from Kansas City to Phoenix today.

But Bezos had $75 million to spend on Melania’s vanity project.

Considering a night or two in Chicago in a couple weeks...is the Pineapple Hotel a swingers place?

I’m already tired of this shit.

Oh wow, they have cyber trucks in Greece too.

Nice

You know what to do, internet.

Bye, Felicia.

It’s all of 9° outside, so of course there’s a white guy at the grocery in just shorts and a T-shirt.

Fishers sure does a shit job of plowing the right lane.

When I’m elected president, online shops will have to disclose where they are shipping from. Like if it’s going to come from China and take forever to get here and then I have to pay for a tariff, I’m just going to refuse delivery.

My kingdom for people to understand how to create/edit a GD recurring meeting in Outlook.

It would be awesome if Apple’s report spam actually did something.

"You have logged into our website with your username and password and confirmed the code we sent via SMS, but could you still verify you are human by selecting all the boxes with a motorcycle, and be wrong no matter what you select?"

Same, bud.