We’re sleeping on Mexico‘s banda synth game

me when I cast hitting you on the fucking head

The original dilf

-looking at old nudes- Man i used to have sooo much hair. I kinda miss it

I like that the Beach Boys were like "we're so tired..."

what if it all was a dream

Girl who's only experience with Teen Titans is through watching Zone cartoons as a kid: So I know the robot and the goth girl and the prep, but who's the twink and the little green alien?

I like this

V hungry and feeling v petty and gripping my knees as to not post mean things

Oh, whatever happened to all the women with raspy, deep, husky voices. There were so many and they sounded so divine! The humble, maligned cigarette: put me back in a woman’s mouth

I’m canceling my subscription to my local fish monger. I’m canceling my local grocer subscription service. They claim the bastard king is the rightful heir to the throne and I won’t support that.

All the kitchen people use the family bathroom that requires a code to get in, and when you’re in there it’s so funny and also so sad when you to hear someone start to futilely type out the code. Sorry, bud. Mama is shitting in here

My husband has been so cute todayyyy, i don’t wanna go to workkk

Flagging gives head at the hotcake house like

perv

Informational

This is my newds blog now i guess

Me when im covered in burger grease (she smashed more burgers than ever tonight)

u ever meet someone who is wang chunging like every single night and its like bro. i know you like to wang chung but you need to do your taxes too

They gave me the puzzle piece mug

I was playing music when There Is A Light by The Smiths came on and 5 of the most portland looking men separately walked past my window, started bopping their head when they heard the music, and looked at me to give me a thumbs up.

my nipples are tall ovals now

Bite this

All newds more than 5 days old are obsolete cause my tits are expanding at a phenomenal rate

Chuck’s farting condition

I really like the white stripes but also i feel like most of their songs sound exactly the same. They have like 3 songs.

here, i got this for you

it’s kind of cute style when someone wants to have sex at you

Girl makes one good dish of japchae and suddenly can’t stop talking about how everyone wants to fuck her

They’re saying shem’s cute

This but its about people i invite over for dinner

It’s always the trans creators I personally find to be the most annoying that get uber popular

I picked up a floating upgrade token in the street and was able to install a body mod that makes me 15% faster at hiding bodies.

We’re The Best……

The kids are getting into Riff-raffing (getting a skullet and hitting eachother’s backs with hammers until they form humps) and I think that’s okay

Yeeupp. Just me and my coconut water. Sisting in my car with my Shun Fat groceries. #milfingout

Its dah friggin weekend babbeyyy

-> use me use me use me <-

Sore

Favorite customer archetypes: • Teenage dudes • Young adult enbies • Pathetic, apologetic adult men • <6 year-olds being made by their parents to order for themselves • <6 year-olds ordering food with their allowance, • 40-year-old women who are very excited at the prospect of getting a burger

So far, every time I’ve closed, the most tired, pathetic man comes up to my cart 30 minutes before close asking very apologetically for a burger. Its a different guy everytime and I always want to hand feed it to them.

Every soft rock song by an 80s hard rock band is like: Oh sweet summer girl / held your hand amongst the golden reeds / thought I saw our life stretch out ahead / gollum longs for the stupid little ring

Aoosuuggjjhhjj i forgot to get dinner againnn, i’m so hungryyyyy The Luna Bar in my bag: -quivers-

Trying not to spam selfies but i have been SO. CUTE. Lately

Saying this and sounding really scared

I looked up cookbooks recommended for people who want to get into kitchen work, and I kept seeing "On Food and Cooking" by Harold McGee getting reccomended. I'm 35 pages in, and this guy has not stopped talking about the milk production of aurochs.

cold as shit and rainy as fuck, no one is gunna want a burger today. Imma just chill