Do you guys realize that in ONE MONTH i'll be a daddy?

Showered, rested & happy

So my straight friend welcomed me shirtless and let me nap in his bed after so I can be ready for his birthday party. What i'm ready for is his cock inside me

I'm too tired to be horny

Mon train est arrêté sur la voie avec un incident technique, youpi

I think Darlene Mitchel might be the antidote to this administration, war and diseases

What the fuck was Zane wearing??

Well i just landed in Paris, it's 6am and it's gonna be a long day

I wish I was a more dignified human being

Rahul Kohli just quoted my favorite movie back at me and that's... well. Now i'm gonna corner like I'm on rails

Imagine how good Harley in Hawaii would be if Selena Gomez sang it instead of Katy???

TIL that a fillip /ˈfɪl.ɪp/ is a stimulus, boost, or refreshing stimulant that sparks improvement or excitement. You guys (and your pretty penises) are my fillips

I thought I could do #fcf from the air france logan lounge but the lighting is horrid

Flexing my way into another weekend

Huge, huge thanks to everyone who listens to @jasonachristian.bsky.social, @tonyjballas.bsky.social, and I over on @coldwarcinema.com every few weeks. It’s so rewarding to share these movies and to have conversations about how and why movies and history matter.

Genius press tour for #TheDrama (still a horrible obnoxious title though)

My Mouth Is Lonely For You (Feat. Your cock) - The Remix

On my way to the airport 🛫 (I don't wanna go)

Seeing my friend, a former suuuuper jacked crossfit coach, live her true life as a beautiful trans woman truly is a gift 🩵🤍🩷

That ⤵️

Get ready, New York. Cardi B will be judging YOUR jingles to help spread the word about universal childcare for 2 year olds — aka 2-K. Submit your song by April 17. Full guidelines at nyc.gov/jingle. (Tag #NYC2KJingle and @nycmayor if you post your jingle on social media.)

Just took G's bag for my trip and omfg there are so many condoms in that thing

Currently waiting at the Xfinity store for my husband to fucking approve the identification link sent to his phone like the good little trad wife i am

Get in loser, this is a joyride. The Sexistentialist, entry 3. PS: it *is* about one of yous 👉👈

I mean, that explains why US chocolate are so fucking gross 😅 Hershey’s Promises to Use Only Real Chocolate After Backlash

Excuse me! Do these shorts make me look like a slut?

And truth be told, he chose the name himself 😇

Tonight, stout ale steamed mussels with garlic ciabatta (also, yes, this is the counter)

Do you have a favorite bullet point style, or am I crazy?

😚✨

Who wants my baguette

I need to *checks email* prepare an amendment for a service and I oop 😴

Vampire still in heavy, heavy rotation here

☠️☠️☠️

A French baker is currently sending me nudes - gorgeous, perfect ass - and all I can think about is writing a Sexistentialist entry called "The Baker". Oh, the possibilities...

The weekend is neeeeeaaaaaarrrr

Get in loser, this is a joyride. The Sexistentialist, entry 3. PS: it *is* about one of yous 👉👈

Jonathan, the world's oldest tortoise, has died at 193 years old He was gay and lived through two world wars and 40 US presidents

"I drive him back to his hotel, just a few blocks of easy conversation and innuendos. Snowflakes hit the windshield and stick to the car. “Do you wanna come up for a minute?” he asks as he unbuckles his seat belt." The rest tonight, at 8pm. 🚗😈

I'm putting the final touches to tonight's The Sexistentialist newsletter and this is making me so hard I can't concentrate 😅

Your lunch is served

Jacquemus never fails to underwhelm.

I love being fooled. There's nothing like a little gullibility to be happy

PT's gonna be maaaaaad Inflation Hit Iceland Hard. Even Its Beloved Hot Dogs.

This barrage of ridicule, political justice decisions really proves that the US case law legal based system is completely inane.

Morning y'all. Go get ´em!

In #TheSexistentialist ´s next entry, we’re behaving like horny teenagers and fogging up the car windows. Turns out you're never too old, too married, or too pregnant-adjacent to have car sex with your Bloomfy crush. Buckle up! The Bluesky Crush. Tomorrow at 8pm

Writing this third entry is not going smoothly at all. I need to focus. Please sit on my face.

To be fair, I have been dreaming for years about having his dick inside me, so I see where she's coming from