God I fucking hate baseball

Haven’t finished it yet but highly recommend Dhurandhar. It get my coveted Super Gnarly Kills seal of approval.

My birthday is coming up on the 9th of July if someone with better aim and a desire to be famous gets a wild hair up their ass. This post could be about literally anything for the record.

Also a useful PSA for those who would like to block him now.

3yo had a pen mark on his face and I asked “What’s this on your face?” and he said “That’s just how my face looks like sometimes”.

He’s at nearly 96 hours now. I’m terrified.

"There is more to baseball than physical strength. It's, uh, it's about courage. And it's about faith. And it is also about heart."

Dear Evan Hansen, I wrote you but you still ain’t callin. I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom.

Abby is using wearable breast pumps this time and they make it look like she’s got just giganto fake honkers it’s so funny

A two movie day? Being laid off rocks other than being very scared about the future sometimes.

a lot of extremely corny t-shirts in the crowd at the PoCo May Days parade

I’m making a the gold glover for a guy named Tugboat trade every single time. Tugboat.

Watching that new Tracy Morgan show about what should have happened to Shohei Ohtani

Please don’t win in the Academy of Country Music Awards car Tyler. I do not want to buy that one.

I guess my knew thing is watching movies based on books that I read with my son and then disagreeing with the adaptation choices.

This Gardasil ad predicted the NHL Draft Lottery results and seems to think the Maple Leafs will pass on McKenna.

Some day I will sit my boys down and we’ll watch some Showa Godzilla together and they will say stuff like “Dad what is this?” or “This sucks” and I will say “Go to your room.”

Godzilla is so cool and tough. I wonder if he’s Christian.

Big shoutout to the Japanese baby in Gidorah, The Three-Headed Monster who’s going to town on a hardboiled egg during the TV taping with the Mothra women. Brought it from home. Smart!

they should make candles that are for women

I just signed a @theactionnetwork.bsky.social petition: Justice for Vancouver TransLink Workers. Sign here: action.seiulocal2.ca/petitions/pe...

In a one-off crossover adventure with Hercule Poirot and Lieutenant Columbo, Poirot would at first be annoyed with but gain a grudging respect for Columbo, whereas Columbo would consider Poirot a close friend from the jump.

Baby is shitting for the first time in nearly 3 days. It’s a nightmare.

the phrase “Upstate California” has me extremely distressed

it’s crazy that Lagaan isn’t in the Criterion Collection

it’s fucked up how people glorify sebastian maniscalco after he shot thay healthcare guy

There’s basically zero children’s books about what it was like to be 16 years old in San Jose, California in 2004

Folks, you ever notice how Getting Laid means cumming and Getting Off means cumming, but Getting Laid Off means going? How in the hell?!

The Criterion Channel has met me at a very laid off time in my life.

Can AI create something that automatically blocks any social media account with ✝️ in the bio?

My buddy’s old boss let dozens and dozens of people use his MLB TV account for years and years. That journey finally ended and the proud nation of Canada mourns. We salute you Alan.

Klaus Kinski in Aguirre kind of looks like Aragorn and Grima Wormtongue put together. He kind of acts like Aragorn and Grima Wormtongue put together too.

Catch me at the Burnaby Central Railway miniature train in the next forty minutes if you want an ass kicking

the judge: It makes no difference what men think of war. War endures. As well ask men what they think of stone. War was always here. Before man was, war waited for him. The ultimate trade awaiting its ultimate practitioner. That is the way it was and will be. subway takes guy: 100 percent disagree

exposing my 3 month old son to math rock and looking exactly like the kind of fucker that would do that

Bought a Rockstar Zero Sugar to support Reddick this weekend and it was so fucking nasty. I’m sorry brother, this is not a journey I can take with you.

getting ads for Maison Kitsune children’s clothes and frankly, how dare you? who do you think you are? who do you think I am?

I have both Garrett Crochet and Jordan Romano on my fantasy team and they combined for a 70.20 ERA today and dropped me from first to fifth place.

You wouldn’t hit a guy with glasses, would ya? A glasses guy holding a baby!?

3yo had a pen mark on his face and I asked “What’s this on your face?” and he said “That’s just how my face looks like sometimes”.

Struggling with your AI prompts? Try Death! Death is the revolutionary new AI tool that eliminates all the pain of constructing your AI prompts and everything else in your life as well.

If anyone wants to keep up with Tyler Reddick this year, they’re simply going to have to try being woke

Tony Tony Chopper never appears on lists of Greatest Canadians and that’s an embarrassing oversight

Oh shit, the 23XI cars must be dialed to sweep the front and also get Riley starting in Row 7.

Hope the live action One Piece goes on long enough for Minoru Suzuki to play himself

Hate to brag but I hit 3 before noon today

Dave Shumka had a tweet that has been completely forgotten but I think about a lot that was, and this is probably word for word: Set fire to the rain? That’s your dumbest idea yet Adele.

Hayden Birdsong? More like… more like Needin Tommyjohng

Update on this: Garbage Truck by Sex Bob-Omb Peaches by The Presidents of the United States of America Christmas in Prison by John Prine