My New Year’s Resolution is to read more this year. I guess I started a month ago when I read Siddhartha by Hesse, but I’m much too stupid to challenge myself anymore so I’m gonna stick to Dad Lit. I’m keeping a list here, for accountability’s sake.

the english voice cast of Ponyo is so funny. it’s pure heavy hitters and then the two leads are the youngest kids of the Jonas and Cyrus families

Kinetic Sand is crazy. What is it? How does it do that?

BANG BANG

This is some football game, hey?

My 3yo son (perfect, brilliant) has conflated cheering and being cheered up so when he’s sad we have to say “Hip hip hooray” so he feels better.

It’s so cool when two guys are fighting with swords and then one of the guys is like “I’m gonna punch this fuckin guy” and then he punches him and then they keep fighting with swords

It’s honestly fucked up how taking metamucil daily has solved virtually every single one of my problems

watching The Fellowship, yknow, for Christmas

The other day I was driving through a neighborhood in New West and I saw a guy cross the street whose entire vibe and aesthetic was “Guy Who Started Writing Poetry After Coming Home From Nam”.

Just had some Chef Boyardee for the first time in like six or so years and let me tell you, it sucked shit and was perfect.

watching the Pluribus where Carol turns the corner with her mental health by costing the production tens of thousands of dollars by singing a bunch of songs

Greg Biffle news is so sad like imagine if Kobe Bryant was flying the helicopter and also wasn’t a rapist, that’s kind of like what this is.

Bari Weiss is Rory Gilmore (derogatory)

He asks for string cheese every night because it delays bedtime anywhere from 8 to 15 minutes while he eats it.

i expected giamatti to be like oh sure i watched TOS as a kid with my dad, fun show. nope! he's a fucking real one, DS9 is his favorite series, sisko his favorite captain, and he shouts out admiration for colm meaney's performance specifically. One Of Us www.ign.com/articles/pau...

Watching my son take his sweet time with a string cheese in his big boy room, which we’re getting ready to sleep in for the first time tonight

searching for “Uncle Pecos Tom and Jerry fancam” to unsatisfying results

wait was that Luigi Primo in the bar of the new Knives Out movie?

The week to week whiplash of following “X-Cops” with “First Person Shooter” must have driven people insane.

“The grandma was RUNNING! In the street!”

Tyler Rogers, I love you. Vaya con Dios.

My beloved son and I are watching the Chuck Jones Grinch cartoon for the second time since last night. He laughs all through it when he didn’t laugh at the Jim Carrey movie a single time.

I’m anesthetized but they told me to keep my phone so I cannot be held responsible for my actions over the next three to four hours

Instant all-timer here:

being totally off twitter has put a real strain on how i fuck around at work. this place still ain’t poppin

Kurt Sutter can’t keep getting away with this.

My son understands that needles are involved with tattoos so he assumes tattoo artists are doctors. He said when he gets a tattoo the doctor could use a crayon instead.

ouch

getting my first tattoo in almost ten years and it’s my chest because i’m a beautiful idiot

I would thrive in a PLUR1BUS situation.

AMichaelClark Runs On Duncan

checking back in on this how did it pan out

I can’t be the only one who thinks that if Hamas wanted to they could put together a football team and dominate the NFL.

Well after almost 16 years I’m finally off Twitter for good. If I had to say what finally pushed me over the edge, it would have to be getting permanently suspended for the third time.

The trouble with daycare is that my toddler started saying “6-7” at bedtime and my wife cried “Noooooooo!” from the living room.

If a nuclear bomb went off in LA the first thing I would do is check to see if the Dodgers were home or away.

If you are a Dodgers fan, you are lower than dogshit to me

fuck baseball

There is no god.

Sometimes you have to separate the art (my wife) from the artist (my mother-in-law)

every time I hear an english accent it is completely against my will.

Trainspotting

There’s a Clampett directed adaptation of Horton Hatches the Egg that despite watching hundreds and hundreds of hours of Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies growing up, I never knew existed. We found it on Tubi and my Seuss obsessed son wants to watch it constantly.

they have Gay Dog now. RT for awarenesd

you and me both brother

Ay can youse stunads pipe da fuck down, I’m tryina organize crime ova heeeeeyuh!