NEW YORK CITY I HAVE NOTHING BUT SUNSHINE AND SPARKLES FOR YOUR EYEBALLS BECAUSE, AT LONG LAST, IT IS HAPPENING: A MOTHERFUCKING WEEKEND WITHOUT MOTHERFUCKING RAIN. FUCKING RIGHT! FRI: 79°/55° NO RAIN SAT: 66°/53° MORE NO RAIN SUN: 78°/61° STILL NO RAIN

NEW YORK CITY, OUR WEEKEND RAINY STREAK JUST ENDED (FUCKING FINALLY), WE'VE GOT A GENTLE MONDAY ON TAP AND AN OVERALL DECENT WEEK IN FRONT OF US. THE WEATHER GODS APPEAR DISINTERESTED. MON: 75°/61° TUE: 80°/66° WED: 82°/67° THU: 77°/60° FRI: 77°/56°

NEW YORK CITY IT'S YET ANOTHER RAINY WEEKEND (Y.A.R.W.) AND WE NEED TO START HOLDING @mayor.nyc.gov ACCOUNTABLE FOR THIS BULLLLLLLLLSHIT. CHECK IT OUT: FRI: 67°/54° AS GOOD AS IT GETS SAT: 57°/52° THE REAL RAIN STARTS AROUND NOON... SUN: 60°/57° ...AND DOESN'T TAPER OFF UNTIL AROUND NOON SUNDAY

BAD DAY FOR YOUR AC TO BE BUSTED NOT THAT I WOULD KNOW (I FUCKING KNOW)

TOO EARLY TO BE THIS HOT

NEW YORK CITY WE'VE GOT A PREVIEW OF SUMMER'S COMING ATTRACTIONS THIS WEEK... HOT STUFF. WILL COOL OFF THURSDAY BUT UNTIL THEN HOPE YOUR A/C FREAKING WORKS. YOUR FUCKING WEATHER: MON: 87°/72° TUE: 95°/76° POOL PARTY MY PLACE WED: 94°/59° THU: 69°/56° FRI: 64°/54° HERE COMES THE RAIN AGAIN

HOLY CHRIST ON A BURNING CROSS IT'S A MOTHERFUCKING SCORCHER OUT THERE

NEW YORK CITY IT IS MOTHERFUCKING TIME FOR OUR MOTHERFUCKING GLOW-UP. WE GET A LIL' BIT O' HEAT COMING OUR WAY AND I FOR ONE AM ALL FOR IT. SOMETHING NEW, AT LAST. SO WHAT IF IT WON'T LAST LONG. YOUR FUCKING WEEKEND: FRI: 68°/54° MILD SAT: 79°/66° SPICY SUN: 88°/66° OY CALIENTE

WORDS YOU DON'T HEAR METEOROLOGISTS SAYING OFTEN ENOUGH: PERILOUS, GUTSY, LURID, BODACIOUS, FLAMBOYANT, DEATH-DEFYING, HABERDASHER, JAUNTY, WORM-RIDDEN, SCUMMY, SLOSHY, LOOSE.

NEW YORK CITY THIS MAY BE THE END OF THE HO-HUM SPRING, ENJOY THE CALM ENJOY THIS INCREDIBLE CHILL WHILE IT LASTS. SHIT WARMS UP STARTING SATURDAY. YOUR FUCKING WEATHER: MON: 64°/48° TUE: 66°/53° WED: 68°/57° THU: 64°/54° FRI: 69°/57° NICE

new profile photo who dis? GEORGE MOTHERFUCKING COWLING THE FIRST TV WEATHERPERSON THAT'S WHO. NOW YOU KNOW

new profile photo who dis? GEORGE MOTHERFUCKING COWLING THE FIRST TV WEATHERPERSON THAT'S WHO. NOW YOU KNOW

NEW YORK CITY, WE'VE GOT A MILD AND DAMP WEEKEND... FUCKING AGAIN. THE WEATHER GODS ARE CLEARLY RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS. YOUR FUCKING WEEKEND: FRI: 67°/54° SAT: 62°/53° RAINY RAINY SUN: 72°/52° NEARLY PERFECT

OKAY NOW, *THIS* IS PEAK SPRING MORNING, NYC. 10/10. A HINT OF CRISP.

NEW YORK CITY YOU CAN FEEL IT, THE AIR, IT'S A BIT WARMER... BUT IT WON'T FUCKING LAST. THE HO-HUM 60-DEGREE SPRING CONTINUES... YOUR FUCKING WEATHER: MON: 73°/59° TUE: 82°/63° WED: 68°/52° EVENING RAIN THU: 62°/49° MORE EVENING RAIN FRI: 66°/54°

NEW YORK CITY IF THIS WEATHER HAS BEEN ONE MOTHERFUCKING THING THIS WEEK IT'S MOTHERFUCKINGLY CONSISTENT. I KNOW SOME OF YOU LOVE THIS SHIT AND OTHERS WISH IT WERE A BIT WARMER AND IT'S TOO BAD FOR THOSE PEOPLE BECAUSE, WELL, IT'S NOT GETTING ANY WARMER. FRI: 64°/51° SAT: 60°/47° SUN; 60°/49°

NEW YORK CITY WE ARE IN THE MIDST OF SOME EXCEEDINGLY CHILL SPRING VIBES, NOT CHILL AS IN COLD BUT CHILL AS IN LIGHT-JACKET RELAXED. THIS IS SUCH A SPECIFIC POINT OF TIME IN THE NYC SPRING IT SHOULD BE TREATED DELICATELY! MON: 69°/48° TUE: 65°/50° WED: 60°/50° THU: 62°/47° MORNING RAIN FRI: 62°/48°

this motherfucking rain can munch my motherfucking taint

BIG SHOUTOUT TO @ofiranet.bsky.social, MY 666th FOLLOWER.

NEW YORK CITY THIS BULLSHIT RAIN ON THE WEEKENDS HAS GOT TO STOP. @MAYOR.NYC.GOV WE NEED YOU TO PETITION THE WEATHER GODS AND GET SOME MOTHERFUCKIN SOLUTIONEERING UP IN HERE. RAIN ON TUESDAYS AND WEDNESDAYS ONLY. THANK U. FRI: 66°/48° SAT: 51°/44° RAIN ALL DAY SUN: 54°/46° RAIN MOST OF THE MORNING

NEW YORK CITY WE'VE GOT A BRISK 'N' DAMP BIT O' SPRING THIS WEEK, THE MOTHERFUCKING WEATHER GODS TURNED DOWN THE HEAT AND TURNED UP THE WET. CAN'T SAY I LIKE IT, CAN'T SAY I CAN DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT THO. MON: 53°/36° EARLY AFTERNOON RAIN TUE: 51°/45° WED: 57°/47° AM RAIN THU: 70°/56° FRI: 65°/50°

NEW YORK CITY IT IS NOT A GLORIOUS WEEKEND. IT IS A WEEKEND, IT IS A SPRING WEEKEND, BUT FUCK, IT'S GONNA BE A WET ONE. WHAT'S UP WITH THESE WEEKEND RAINSTORMS WTF WTF WTF FRI: 78°/56°, RANDO THUNDERSTORMS SAT: 65°/52° SUN: 55°/42° RAIN MOST OF THE DAY

BET IT DOESNT HIT 80 AGAIN UNTIL MAY 13TH

NEW YORK CITY WE'VE GOT SOME BEAUTIFUL BUT MAYBE A SMIDGE HOT DAYS COMING OUR WAY. TIME TO SLAP SOME LAWN CHAIRS ON THE SIDEWALK OUT FRONT AND CRACK OPEN A COLD ONE... YOUR FUCKING WEATHER: MON: 79°/62° TUE: 84°/65° WED: 84°/64° THU: 84°/66° FRI: 78°/58°

NEW YORK CITY IF YOU LIKE THESE BRISK MORNINGS... ENJOY THEM WHILE THEY LAST YOU FUCKING FREAK. THIS WEEKEND IS CHILL BUT THE CHILL WON'T LAST. YOUR FUKKIN WEEKEND: FRI: 63°/52° SAT: 63°/43° SUN: 57°/49°

FUCKING BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

NEW YORK CITY WE'VE GOT MORE SHIT-FOR-SPRING WEATHER IN FRONT OF US. NOTHING LIKE THAT BAIT-AND-SWITCH SATURDAY WE HAD, NO, JUST STRAIGHT 40s AND 50s WITH SOME LOWS IN THE FREAKING 30s, FUCKIN UGH. YOUR FUKKIN WEATHER: MON: 58°/44° TUE: 53°/33° WED: 48°/36° THU: 53°/40° FRI: 62°/51°

NEW YORK CITY IT'S A MURKY SLATE OF MID-60s, CLOUDY WEATHER FOR US THIS WEEKEND. BOG-STANDARD SHIT BASICALLY. GONNA RAIN SUNDAY. YOUR FUCKING WEEKEND: FRI: 65°/59° SAT: 67°/45° SUN: 64°/44° RAIN

HORNY FOR 75-DEGREE HIGHS

HOLY HELL NEW YORK CITY MOTHERFUCKING SPRING IS IN MOTHERFUCKING BLOOM. MORE OF THIS SHIT ALL THE TIME PLEASE. MON: 70°/59° TUE: 75°/63° MORNING RAIN WED: 79°/48° EVENING RAIN THU: 51°/44° THE ONE SHIT DAY FRI: 63°/58°

A gorgeous sunset in NYC right now

NEW YORK CITY IT'S NOT TIME TO PUT AWAY YOUR WINTER COATS JUST YET WE'VE GOT SOME BRRRRR ON THE HORIZON. YOUR FUCKING WEEKEND: FRI: 58°/31° SAT: 43°/32° <--- WTF SUN: 54°/44°

HOLY HELL NEW YORK CITY, IT IS MOTHERFUCKING GORGEOUS OUT. CALL OUT SICK QUIT YOUR JOB GET OUT GET OUT GET OUTTTTTTTT THERE

JESUS CHRIST WHY IS IT SO FREAKING COLD TODAY

NEW YORK CITY IT'S A HO-HUM DOLDRUMS TYPE OF WEEK, CLASSIC NYC EARLY-SPRING SHIT. THURSDAY'S THE ONE DECENT DAY. YOUR FUCKING WEATHER: MON: 46°/34° MORNING RAIN TUE: 49°/38° WED: 53°/46° THU: 69°/51° NICE FRI: 54°/32° MORNING RAIN

NEW YORK CITY HERE WE ARE WITH THE MOTHERFUCKING EARLY-SPRING DOLDRUMS. YOUR FUCKING WEEKEND: FRI: WHATEVER SAT: 53° SUN: 46°

FUCKING SNOW?

THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL, DAY 41: YESTERDAY’S RAIN POUNDED WHAT WAS LEFT OF THAT MASSIVE DUMP TWO WEEKS AGO AND SHIT, THERE JUST ISN’T MUCH SNOW LEFT. RIP WHITE STUFF SEE YOU NEXT YEAR MAYBE

THE BATTLE OF EVERSNOW, DAY 40: NEW YORK CITY ENLISTS AERIAL PRECIPITATION FORCES TO TAKE THE FIGHT TO THE POCKETS OF SNOW STILL LEFT. "WE'RE TURNING PILES INTO PUDDLES," THE MAYOR SAYS. "WE'RE TAKING OUR CITY BACK."

SNOW-CITY, DAY 39: WE'LL SEE SOME MELTING TODAY, POCKETS OF RESISTANCE STILL LINGER. THE SNOW IS ON THE RETREAT, THE HUMANS WILL WIN THIS WAR, BUT... HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE? LEADERSHIP IS SILENT ON THE MATTER.

NEW YORK CITY IT'S FUCKING FREEZING TODAY WHICH IS WEIRD BUT PROBABLY TO BE EXPECTED. GOOD NEWS IS IT GETS BETTER. ANYWAY. MON: 34°/29° BRRRRRR TUE: 38°/35° WINTRY MIX / RAIN WED: 51°/39° THU: 47°/39° FRI: 46°/39°

SNOW ON THE GROUND IN NYC, DAY 36: I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE THERE HAS BEEN SNOW ON THE GROUND IN NEW YORK CITY FOR 36 OF THE PAST 36 DAYS (ACCORDING TO THE SIDEWALK IN FRONT OF MY PLACE). HOW MANY MORE DAYS WILL THE SNOW LAST? not many, bitches. NOT MANY.

DAYS OF ICE AND SNOWSES, DAY 35: WE'RE FUCKING WINNING, THE SNOW IS FUCKING LOSING, AND DAMN DOES IT FEEL GOOD. HEAR THE TINKLE OF THE MELTING LOSER-SNOW. SEE THE WATER RUN DOWN TO THE DRAIN. FUCK THIS SNOW, FUCK YES THIS WEATHER, SPRING HERE WE MOTHERFUCKING COME!

NEW YORK CITY THIS WEEKEND IS JUST GORGEOUS, DIVINE (WE HIT 50 DEGREES), WE SAY GOODBYE TO FEBRUARY AND SAYONARA TO A DECENT CHUNK OF THE SNOW THAT ABSOLUTELY CRAP MONTH GAVE US. FRI: 45°/32° SAT: 52°/36° HOLY HELL I CANNOT WAIT SUN: 40°/23° SOME PRECIPITATION MEH

PRETTY-SNOW-FOR-NOW-CITY, DAY 33: THERE'S NO WAY THIS IS GOING TO LAST, RIGHT? IT'S GETTING WARMER, SURELY THIS MUST ALL MELT. YOU CAN SEE THE SNOW ALREADY WEAKENING. IT MUST BEND, IT WILL BREAK.

This morning’s new snow is ridiculous, uncalled for, and if I may say so, personally offensive.

SNOW. WHY.

NEW YORK CITY, YOUR FUCKING WEATHER THIS WEEK IS A CAVALCADE OF SHIT ON TOP OF THE SHIT THAT WAS ALREADY SHITTING EVERYTHING UP. TUE: 34°/26° THE COLDEST DAY UNTIL NEXT WEEK WED: 45°/35° MORE SNOW IN THE MORNING WTF THU: 43°/30° FRI: 42°/32° SMALL CHANCE OF SNOW

THIS THREAD WAS THE PUSH THAT I NEEDED, I LEFT THE OTHER SITE TODAY. THANKS TIM ONION.

STILL SNOWING PRETTY DAMN HARD FOR A BLIZZARD THAT'S SUPPOSED TO LET UP IN THE NEXT COUPLE HOURS