I don't exaggerate when I say that Andrew Wakefield should be tried for mass murder. We'll never know how many people have died or will die as a direct result of his fraudulent study.

Since I haven't even been arsed to open the curtings [TM] yet, I'm choosing to believe all this stuff about rain and wind and shit only applies to other people.

This is notably the same bunch of chocolate-footed arseholes who twatted it up in Wrexham. What are Luiz and Bakwa drawing salaries for exactly?

Belated realization that I think I just got through a whole December without once encountering "Merry Xmas Everybody".

Aye.

The first time I heard news of a new iteration of Blakes 7, what eventually transpired was Crime Traveller.

I think the most tedious thing about football chat absolutely has to be 'transfer speculation'. Let's talk once the fucker has signed, maybe.

I thoroughly tire of being asked to buy interesting-looking titles by publishers who don't produce accessible texts. Thoroughly, I tell you.

Musing on whether I need a deluxe edition of the Eg& Alice album. Define 'need'.

Some twat just called Ally McCoist "macca", for fuck's sake.

The star of "I, Jesus".

Loving that I can submit the message "Jesus really is a bit of a mental twat, isn't he?" and no religious poltroon can object in the circumstances.

Whatever happens now, Wrexham deserve it for not thinking it was a fucking training exercise.

I am not enjoying being right, I promise you

I said all this week, to the point of tedium, that this bastard game has cup upset written all bastard over it #Forest

That was a toenail offside and a 'just about' penalty, but I'll have it.

At least Hudson-Odoi turned up. Not sure anyone else has.

At least there was a bit of a phase shift between them both punting two managers IN THE SAME SEASON.

Not the most famous team in the league, but still: "Burnely"? Jesus.

Once More With Feeling

Filthy Rich + Catflap

I guess it's not every day that both your teams get humped 3-1 right up the chute AT THE SAME TIME.

This team were title contenders a year ago for Christ's sake

I read this with no idea the end was so imminent. I read it and said, out loud, "oh. Is that it finished?". I knew it was coming, but... not instantly...

Not only a perfect denouement, it was the end of an era. Thirty years ago today, this strip was published.

What is this "interview a player at half-time" bollocks?

Yeah, this came back today...

Erm...

www.bbc.co.uk/sport/footba... Never met him, was never likely to, but saddened by this. My first hero in football. Literally the person I spent my ninth and tenth years desperately wanting to be. Managed the overweight bit, but not the important part.

In the immortal words of Michael Fenton Stevens, I personally couldn't give a toss what kind of day you have.

Tarby.

Penalty my scrotum.

You can always tell when Rangers know they're in trouble, they pull out an orange strip for no discernible reason.

"Rangers in a big hole here in the capital". That's no way to talk about Tynecastle.

On a day in which the director of Stand By Me was killed, I find it difficult to give much of a fuck about the fact that Celtic got twatted 3-1

When the fuck did Ralston come on?

I'm barely aware of Iheanacho other than that he's the one guy in hoops who looks like he wants not to get gubbed.

I guess Yang and Engels can play. I've just never seen any fucking evidence of it.

Many people want to see yellow and red cards dished out for players waving fingers at refereeing decisions with which they disagree. Personally I would strongly approve of two or three of the twats having their fucking faces shot off.

"...to stick with his guns..."?

I'm so not used to both my teams playing in Europe, one after the other. Probably just as well it doesn't happen too often.

I'd like to be on the record as very glad the cunt's dead, and if you're not, I wish you were dead too.

And that, as ever, the host and the interviewer pronounced his name in different ways. I am STILL none the fucking wiser.

So what I'm learning is that the new Celtic manager was born a few weeks before Kenny Dalglish left for Liverpool. I don't know how I feel about this.

As ever, if you're not sure how to pronounce the new guy's name, listen to how Chris Sutton says it and then do literally anything else.

Thing is, I *haven't* fucking heard of Elf On The Shelf.

I may now get drunk. My purple light is on.

One of the most beautiful bits of english eccentricity and glorious design is coming back to Sotheby’s and should be bought by a musuem (or me) for THE NATION. www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home...

For twelve quid a ticket, tops.